The Era -- Day By Day

[Fading Fast]

... ("WHAAAAAAAT?" bellows Joe. "MEDWICK AN' CAMILLI FA MCCO'MICK AN' VANDEH MEEEH? OHHHHHHH, NOT ON YA TINTYPE!" "Not even," adds Sally, "if t'ey t'row inna Dooka Win'seh!")...

With baseball now over in 1941 and 2021, the reality of a long cold winter sets in.

...("It's all set," says Sally. "Ma's gonna take care 'a Leonora, an' I got a ticket lowa deck onna t'oity yahd line. Wherezat raccoon coat?" "Oh," says Joe, "I gotta get t'at back f'm Solly today. He borra'dit. Fa' Hallaween. Haddis pa'hty downa plant. Solly wen' as Russia, y'know, like a beah. Chased Heinie Schultz aroun'a vats. You shudda seenit. Solly hadonna big moustache too, you know, like'at Joe Stallion, but I t'ink t'at confused people. Ev'rybody said 'hey, Jerry Colonna! How's Yehudi?' I ASK YA.")...

I was hoping she'd go. You have to have some breaks in life, especially with a new baby.

...[ (You're tampering with forces beyond your control.)...

They're always tampering with forces beyond their control. And they're idiots, every one of them, other than the turtle and the dog and maybe Yoo Hoo.

... Starring Alan Ladd as Tom, Rosalind Russell as Connie, and Veronica Lake as Angel Varden, with Ned Sparks as Gabe Flack....

You're four for four, Lizzie. Ned Sparks is a particularly inspired call.

...[ Yeah, Warbucks, even the Asp knows you're a dink.....

Bill Slagg thinks to himself, "Damnit, it was almost all mine. Stupid Punjab and his stupid smoke signals."

... Everybody's falling out of moving vehicles these days.....

Jessica Lange stole Dick Tracy's line for her role in "The Postman Always Rings Twice." Nothing is new.

... Gee, that Veronica works fast.

Or Prunella does. Two can play at the cradle-robing game.

 

[Harp]

I couldn't read the article about the missing women.... too heartbreaking.
And Terry as usual is up to his eyeballs in trouble.
____________

But I thought Jessica Lange was in Postman. Kim B?
I believe that is Jessica L.

 

[Fading Fast]

I couldn't read the article about the missing women.... too heartbreaking.
And Terry as usual is up to his eyeballs in trouble.
____________

But I thought Jessica Lange was in Postman. Kim B?
I believe that is Jessica L.

You are right - I stand corrected - thank you. I'll update it, but again, thanks for the heads up.

 

[LizzieMaine]

A US Navy tanker with 107 crewmen aboard has reached port safely after being torpedoed by a submarine off the coast of Iceland, naval officials reported today. The 16,800-ton USS Salinas, carrying a cargo of 11,145 tons of fuel oil was part of a convoy, making a speed of 10 1/2 knots, and presumably en route to supply U. S. forces based in Iceland. It is reported that the attack came "without warning" during the night of October 29-30, a day prior to the submarine attack that destroyed the USS Reuben James. Naval authorities declined to release details of the specific damage sustained by the tanker in the attack, stating that "such information would be of no use to anyone by the Nazis."

The Navy today revealed that ninety-seven officers and crewmen aboard the Reuben James are now "missing and presumed dead," with only two bodies having been recovered. The remaining crew members, including all seven officers aboard the destroyer, are now considered lost "with little hope for them."

Nazi sources stated today that German troops have "sealed the fate" of the Soviet naval base at Sevastopol in the Crimea, as part of a hammering panzer offensive that also captured the port of Feodosya and "rained tons of high explosives" on Soviet troops attempting a retreat by water. Calling the attack "a Black Sea Dunkirk," German authorities declared that control of the sector, and the roads to the rich oil fields of the Caucasus, "will not long be in doubt."

Berlin expressed rage today over US demands that Finland cease aiding the Nazis in their war against the Soviet Union. German spokesmen denounced the demand by Secretary of State Cordell Hull as "Jewish shamelessness" and "an arrogant demand by the Washington ghetto gangsters." The Nazis commended Finland for declining the US call for its withdrawal from the war, calling it "refreshing and courageous."

Nearly forty percent of Brooklyn's estimated 800,000 registered voters had already cast their ballots by noon today, as the bitterly disputed Fusion vs. Democratic mayoral election determines control of the New York City government for the next four years. Election Commissioner J. A. Livingston predicts the rush of voters at neighborhood polling stations will reach its peak at approximately 5 PM. "It has been one of the quietest and most orderly elections I have ever experienced," declared the Commissioner.

Mayor LaGuardia began his day with a whirlwind tour of polling places across the city, commencing with a flying visit to Police Headquarters, where he spent seventeen minutes conferring with Commissioner Lewis J. Valentine and officers at the Police Bureau of Operations to determine if any early complaints had been received of incidents at the polls. The Mayor was advised that only "six or seven minor incidents" had been reported, among them a five-minute delay in the opening of polls at P. S. 225 in Bensonhurst, where, according to Commissioner Valentine, the custodian was late in arriving to open the building because of his wife's illness.

("Can ya beat t'is?" grouses Joe to Sally as they huddle in the chill November morning outside the school building. "Don'ney know people gotta get ta' woik? I tell ya, when O'Dwyeh's runnin' t'ings, it's gonna be diff'nt!" "Aw, Joe!" frowns Sally. "Ya don' mean ta tell me! You ain' votin' fa' O'Dwyeh!" "Sure I am," says Joe. "I'm broad-minded, see? He's Irish, I'm Lit'uanian. So what?" "Well, exac'ly!" argues Sally. "An' I'm Irish an' LaGuardia, he's I-talian! What dif'nce does'at make? I don' see ya pernt!" "Well, I t'ought you was gonna vote f'O'Dwyeh too!" "You kiddin'??" scoffs Sally. "Who was it broke up t'at ahtichoke ring? Who smashed up allem pinballs? Who got'tem doity books offa t'newsstan's? Who..." "Well, I'm votin' f' O'Dwyeh. Who was it sen'nat Pittsboig Phil an'nat Happy guy ta t' chaieh? Huh? Who?" "Aw, lissen, ev'y election it'sa same t'ing. You vote yaw way an' I'll vote my way, an'nat's 'at." "Yeah, ya right. Who sez a mix' marriage don' woik?")

A Boerum Hill dentist was rescued from a building ledge by firemen this morning as fire swept thru his office. Dr. Irving L. Fellerman was brought down a ladder from the second floor at 18 4th Avenue, opposite the Long Island Railroad terminal, as hundreds of spectators looked on. The fire broke out at about 9:30 AM, likely caused by a cigarette Dr. Fellerman had placed on the edge of an ashtray on his desk while he stepped into his laboratory. Dr. Fellerman told police he believed the cigarette must have rolled off the desk and ignited combustibles. Damage to the office was said to be considerable, and a soft drink stand and a cigar store on the main floor were also damaged.

Erasmus Hall High School is a 3 to 1 favorite to win today's 34th annual Election Day football game against Manual Training High. The Buff and Blue hasn't lost to its ancient rival since 1937, and with an undefeated record this season is rebounding off the worst record in its history. Last year, Erasmus's only victory was an 18-13 win over Manual in the 1940 Election Day contest. Fifteen thousand strong-lunged spectators are expected for the contest today at Ebbets Field.

(Had they not been otherwise occupied, Joe and Sally might have gone. Could've been a good chance to pick up some diapers cheap.)

(You might recall that the real Elsie was killed last spring in a car accident after playing a vaudeville date in New Jersey. If elected, we hope her successor here will mount a full investigation.)

(And out in Hollywood, young stage actor William Bendix shrugs and hopes the publicity will at least get him some auditions.)

(Get your bets down now!)

Reader Edith H. Sheils writes in to demand that something be done about the distasteful practice of dance orchestras playing swing arrangements of classical and traditional music. She recently heard a swing band play a hot arrangement of "Kerry Dance," and as a person of Irish extraction, it was about the worst thing she ever heard.

(It goes both ways, bub.)

(NOW DON'T TRADE HIM!!!!)

(What's the real point? Boody's tired of drawing those freckles.)

(It's Election Day, there's a big football game on, there's bets to take, and he ain't got no time for pixies.)

(Yeah, it's a hard job being the only "society" in town.)

("Wow! A competent sidekick! I COULD REALLY GET USED TO THIS!")

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

An Army corporal in 1941 makes $46 a month. Work hard, Coby!

What with the war and the election and all, there just hasn't been much room lately for news of hokey royalty not named Windsor. Nice to see they're still out there.

Um, okay...

Yeah, Bill Slagg Is Great. But would it have killed him to drop a few sandwiches?

"Beat up by bicycle thieves, thrown out of cars... Lissen, Gould, we gotta talk."

Poor Dude. Missing all the fun.

This new Andy is a lot more fun than the old one.

I'm finally at the point now where I actually feel sorry for Tops. Get a clue, son.

And I feel sorry for Emmy too. Kick 'em all.

Point of Order -- unless Gramps is using ringers on his football team, Goofy is still in high school. Yeah, sure, he's in love.

 

[Fading Fast]

...Berlin expressed rage today over US demands that Finland cease aiding the Nazis in their war against the Soviet Union. German spokesmen denounced the demand by Secretary of State Cordell Hull as "Jewish shamelessness" and "an arrogant demand by the Washington ghetto gangsters." ...

When your only tool is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

... Damage to the office was said to be considerable, and a soft drink stand and a cigar store on the main floor were also damaged....

A sign out front of the cigar store this morning: To All Our Customers, we have a partnership with Mary's Candy Shop four doors down who can handle all of your daily cigar needs and any outstanding cigar orders you have with us until we reopen.

...Reader Edith H. Sheils writes in to demand that something be done about the distasteful practice of dance orchestras playing swing arrangements of classical and traditional music. She recently heard a swing band play a hot arrangement of "Kerry Dance," and as a person of Irish extraction, it was about the worst thing she ever heard....

If O'Dwyer wins, it will be the first thing he tackles.

... ("Wow! A competent sidekick! I COULD REALLY GET USED TO THIS!")

Agreed, now team him up with Kay and we'll really have a crime-fighting duo. Apparently, the comicstrip sidekick has to wear a loud suit.

...
An Army corporal in 1941 makes $46 a month. Work hard, Coby!....

Kudos to Cobina Jr. and the Corporal as they defied the Hollywood/Page Four curse and kept their "hymeneal" bliss going until the Corporal passed away in 1968.

...[
What with the war and the election and all, there just hasn't been much room lately for news of hokey royalty not named Windsor. Nice to see they're still out there...

Two locations noted in the article are very cool buildings.

The E 67th Police Precinct is still there (and is my neighborhood's precinct) in this very neat building completed in 1867:


And 14 Wall Street is the second office building I worked in, which is still there and was completed in 1912 (it's the one with the pyramid top):

... Yeah, Bill Slagg Is Great. But would it have killed him to drop a few sandwiches?...

Good thing the wrench didn't land on anyone's head. Or was that Slagg's plan re his thoughts yesterday?

... I'm finally at the point now where I actually feel sorry for Tops. Get a clue, son.....

I thought you were going to say you were feeling sorry for Snipe, as she's becoming a bit sad in all this.

 

[Harp]

14 Wall Street...I love that building. Could've Columbia, then a bit of tenure at double-seven, regrets....

 

[Fading Fast]

14 Wall Street...I love that building. Could've Columbia, then a bit of tenure at double-seven, regrets....

I worked in some really cool Federal Lounge buildings in the financial district: the NYSE (11 Wall St.), 14 Wall St. and 120 Broadway (a behemoth that was the first building in Manhattan to take up a full city block).

120, with its mezzanine of stores and direct access to the subways, was like a small city within the city. Plus, ticker tape parades went right by 120 Broadway so you could participate in the paper throwing (it had massive windows that opened onto Broadway), which is more fun than it sounds as you felt like you were in the middle of a blizzard as the paper is raining down, blowing up, swirling everywhere - it's a ton of fun.

Those buildings - all three of them - had incredible architecture and ties to history. You could feel the past working in them. Plus they were all interesting buildings in and of themselves with odd staircases tucked here and there, entire niches "off the main plan" and cool things like mail slots on every floor, crazy intercom systems from the '20s, offices with working fireplaces, and, as noted, subways that came right into the sub-basement and even some high-floor terraces.

 

[Harp]

I considered moving to the Big Apple in my twenties, New York is New York even for a die hard Chicagoan
but the Second City is home, always will be; and anyway it still aches that I didn't go to Columbia, Col Law, MBA
and the Street. LaSalle Street was nice as far as a night job while in law school but couldawoulda if doalloveragin'...

 

[LizzieMaine]

(Well, good, now that the election's over, maybe we can settle back for a nice quiet winter. No real surprises, except maybe the unseating of Mr. Harvey out in Queens -- hey George, better start burning those old paving-contract files!)

President Roosevelt today emphasized to Congressional leaders his desire for speedy approval to legislation repealing all Neutrality Act shipping restrictions and allowing the arming of merchant vessels. In a meeting with his Congressional lieutenants this morning at the White House, the President expressed his approval of action taken by the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to expand the bill beyond its original scope. Chairman Sol Bloom (D-NY) of the House Foreign Affairs Committee assured the President that the revised legislation has a sufficient margin of support to pass in the House, while Senate leaders told the President that the bill is assured of receiving at least 51 votes.

Nazi authorities today announced new restrictions on the employment of Jews in Germany, requiring all Jewish workers to be segregated from all "Aryans," and revoking all protections under German employment law. Jewish workers will no longer be entitled to overtime pay, sick pay, or Sunday pay, and may be discharged from employment on 24 hours notice, or no notice at all. Jewish workers will also be required to take any job assigned to them by the Labor Ministry employment office.

Spy suspect Herman Lang was one of many German-born Brooklyn residents to transfer funds to Germany as anti-Nazi sentiment built in the United States following the outbreak of the European War in September 1939. It was disclosed today during Lang's trial on espionage charges in Brooklyn Federal Court that the former employee of the Carl I. Norden works in Ridgewood had transferred a total of $5600 to Germany four months after becoming a naturalized citizen of the United States. Lang testified that he transferred the funds out of a fear of inflation in the US. The funds were transferred to an account which converted the money to German marks, and stipulated that the money could only be spent when Lang "established permanent residency in Germany."

The next municipal election will be conducted on a non-partisan basis, predicted the newly-re-elected Mayor LaGuardia today in a special radio broadcast. Speaking from City Hall over stations WEAF and WNYC, the Mayor urged that legislation be introduced and adopted to remove all party labels from all municipal ballots. The Mayor congratulated his rival, District Attorney William O'Dwyer, for having been defeated, and declared that Mr. O'Dwyer should be grateful for that result, since "the next four years are going to be hard and difficult" given the national and global situation. "In comparison with the condition of the country," he continued, "the municipal campaign was unimportant and trivial." The Mayor also declared that, in the name of local and national unity, he intends to "forgive and forget" everything that was said and done during the heat of the campaign.

(Vintage Things That Are Disappearing Fast: cigar-chomping ward heelers.)

("Ya see? Ya open ya mout', ya shove inna cake, annen ya chew! Any questions? Good! Nex' demonstration at 2 pm!")

(The Wise Man Built His House Upon The Rock.)

(What, Fitz's bowling alley has FALLEN THRU??? Mr. Amen!! We demand an investigation of graft in the bowling alley industry!)

("Awwww! Ya shoulda seen it!" gloats Sally. "T'cat come right out t'ere, big as brass, like she din' care 'bout nut'n! T'ey din' even need ta PLAY t' game! Ittuz inna bag! Inna BAG I tell ya! Liss'n, Joe, I know ya bet, so don' gimme no stories -- jus' tell me how much didja win?" "Aw, I can't put nut'n oveh on you -- I put down two an' got back eight." "Hey, now," replies Sally, "At ain' bad! Lessee it!" "Um," stammers Joe, "well, I din' do so good onna election. But hey, WAIT'LL NEX' YEEAH, right?")

(What happens if you put in the batteries backwards?)

(Hives? Why not piles?)

(The Boomville Times must be growing fast if the society editor now gets a private office with a lettered door. Nobody tell her it used to be the broom closet.)

(Dropping incendiary bombs from planes? Now that's stealthy, subtle sabotage. THEY'LL NEVER SUSPECT A THING!)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Next!

Ahhh, civility.

Aw, don't take it so personally.

"And listen, aim a little closer to Warbucks this time, see? Wouldn't want it to miss hi...wouldn't want him to miss it."

"Well, first, just let me do this barrel roll..."

"And it says here he's also a complete idiot." "Well, I dunno -- a *complete* idiot? Let's renegotiate."

Intimidated yet?

"Hope Makes A Darn Poor Gas Mask!"

Lord and Lady P. may be kinda frowsy, but you got to admit they've got a snazzy car.

The science of hormones is in its infancy in 1941, but young Goofy here is a prime lab specimen.

 

[Fading Fast]

...Nazi authorities today announced new restrictions on the employment of Jews in Germany, requiring all Jewish workers to be segregated from all "Aryans," and revoking all protections under German employment law. Jewish workers will no longer be entitled to overtime pay, sick pay, or Sunday pay, and may be discharged from employment on 24 hours notice, or no notice at all. Jewish workers will also be required to take any job assigned to them by the Labor Ministry employment office....

"Jewish workers...may be discharged from employment on 24 hours notice, or no notice at all." This is another example of the psychosis - why even mention the 24 hour notice if no notice is required? It's frightening to see how psychotic they were.

...
("Ya see? Ya open ya mout', ya shove inna cake, annen ya chew! Any questions? Good! Nex' demonstration at 2 pm!")...

Silly ad or not, I'd buy one.

... View attachment 375919
(What, Fitz's bowling alley has FALLEN THRU??? Mr. Amen!! We demand an investigation of graft in the bowling alley industry!)...

Darn, I truly was looking forward to him owning a bowling alley.

[... View attachment 375920 ("Awwww! Ya shoulda seen it!" gloats Sally. "T'cat come right out t'ere, big as brass, like she din' care 'bout nut'n! T'ey din' even need ta PLAY t' game! Ittuz inna bag! Inna BAG I tell ya! Liss'n, Joe, I know ya bet, so don' gimme no stories -- jus' tell me how much didja win?" "Aw, I can't put nut'n oveh on you -- I put down two an' got back eight." "Hey, now," replies Sally, "At ain' bad! Lessee it!" "Um," stammers Joe, "well, I din' do so good onna election. But hey, WAIT'LL NEX' YEEAH, right?")...

Good for Sally - she deserved a fun day. Joe is a classic gambler, I'd love to be his bookie.

... (Hives? Why not piles?)...

Because Dr. Brady has a pamphlet for piles but not hives - DL's always thinking.

... (The Boomville Times must be growing fast if the society editor now gets a private office with a lettered door. Nobody tell her it used to be the broom closet.)...

Since trust-fund-baby Connie never had a job until her trust was stolen and she got this job, Tom is the only boss she's ever had, so not much of a compliment there. In 2021, you are genuinely afraid to make even innocuous physical contact with co-workers, so it's almost disturbing to see these two.

...
(Dropping incendiary bombs from planes? Now that's stealthy, subtle sabotage. THEY'LL NEVER SUSPECT A THING!)

Excellency reads "Mary Worth" and realized his first plan, to drop them from kites, was insanely complicated, so planes it is.

...
Ahhh, civility.....

"District of Columbia law provides the death penalty for rape."

...
"And listen, aim a little closer to Warbucks this time, see? Wouldn't want it to miss hi...wouldn't want him to miss it."....

The first draft of panel two had Punjab punching Warbucks in the face as Annie kicked him from behind as neither one could take the "Bill Slagg and the Asp! I knew they'd come!" BS from the guy who had given up every time the going got tough. The editor sent it back marked "Unacceptable!", so after muttering "%$#^& editor," Gray rewrote it.

...
"Well, first, just let me do this barrel roll..."....

An obscure British intelligence officer by the name of Ian Fleming, who dreams of a post-war career as a novelist, reading "Terry and the Pirates," notes that it's exciting to have your hero seem to be finally safe from his last mission only to have his simple trip home interrupted by more danger. And the idea for the ending of many James Bond novels is born.

...
"And it says here he's also a complete idiot." "Well, I dunno -- a *complete* idiot? Let's renegotiate."....

Hypnotized Andy seems much smarter than normal Andy.

... Intimidated yet?....

This was a not-uncommon indoctrination even up to the '80s. When I started my first real job in '85, I encountered the exact same attitude, "you are useless to us until you learn all this stuff, but you're costing us money, so get cracking." You were yelled at for things that were not your fault; you were given every lousy task; you came in early and left late and were picked on by almost everyone.

...
"Hope Makes A Darn Poor Gas Mask!"....

Four or five feet, even Jessica Lange didn't move it that far and she had Jack Nicholson "helping" her.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Soviet Premier Joseph Stalin today urged the Allied powers -- indirectly including America -- to take immediate steps to open a second front in Europe. In a worldwide radio broadcast marking the 24th anniversary of the October Revolution, Stalin declared "with certainty" that a coalition of the US, Britain, and the Soviet Union is now a reality, and that "the Soviet Union was never so strong as it is now. Our army must and will win." The Soviet premier further declared that "only Hitler's simpletons in Berlin believe in the possibility of Germany conquering Europe. I can tell you that Hitler no more resembles Napoleon than a kitten resembles a lion."

Meanwhile Premier Stalin today named former Foreign Commissar Maxim Litvinov as Russia's new Ambassador to the United States. Litvinov, veteran Soviet diplomat of the era of "collective security," has played a key role in the present rapprochement between his nation, Britain, and the United States.

A resolution for a formal declaration of war between the United States and Germany was introduced in the House of Representatives today by Representative Hamilton Fish (R-NY), a leader in the Congressional non-interventionist bloc, in an effort to "force a showdown on the issue of the United States' participation in European affairs."

With returns still being tabulated in the proportionate representation election to determine seats on the City Council for 1942, Communist Party candidate Peter V. Cacchione has emerged as a leading first-place vote-getter among Brooklyn candidates. In the first unofficial calculation of returns released today at the 102nd Quartermaster Regiment Aromory, Mr. Cacchione, an attorney by profession, is projected to receive more than 41,000 ballots marking him as the first choice, placing him well up in a field led by Edward Vogel, Walter R. Hart, and other Democrats seeking reelection to the city's legislative body. Those candidates rate just ahead of Majority Leader Joseph V. Sharkey, and newcomers
Rita Casey and Nathaniel Kaplan, and well ahead of the disappointing performance of Fusionist councilman Mrs. Genevieve Earle, the only woman presently serving on the Council. Final results of the Council election are not expected until next week.

A Jamaica woman declared today that she knows that her son died in the sinking of the a British freighter announced last night by the British Press Service, because his death was revealed to her in a dream. Mrs. Max Singer of 160-16 Normal Road told the Eagle today that her son, 25-year-old Charles Singer, had signed aboard the freighter as a technician but she still doesn't know why he did so. Mrs. Singer notes that the only word she has received from her son since he shipped out was a letter relayed by a Canadian Air Force officer, in which Charles stated that "by the time you receive this letter I will have arrived in England." That letter, postmarked October 8th, arrived after Mrs. Singer learned that her son was aboard the torpedoed freighter. "He was a good boy," Mrs. Singer repeated. "Why did he go? Why did he go?"

Another local mother, Mrs. Arietta Simonton of Flatbush, stated today that she refuses to accept the news that her son, 30-year-old Harry P. Simonton, was also among the victims of that sinking. "They don't even know the name of the ship my son was on," she insisted. "They always assume things. Why do they do this?

A Bushwick man was given the choice of a $15 fine or ten days in jail, and was sternly rebuked in Bridge Plaza Court for kicking a two-month-old Pomeranian puppy. 31-year-old Ralph Alderman admitted to abusing the little dog after it ran out into traffic and was nearly hit by a police radio car. The patrolman driving that car saw Alderman kick the puppy, and immediately placed him under arrest.

Soon-to-be-former Queens Borough President George V. Harvey will not follow thru on his threat to move to Canada, but will instead move to Connecticut and become a cabbage farmer. The longtime head of Queens government had threatened to go to Canada last year after President Roosevelt was reelected, but failed to do so. But he stated today that he can't afford to live in Queens "on a pension of $2500 a year," and insisted that, despite his $15,000 a year salary as borough president, he had amassed little savings, and "had not kept a tin box" like some of his predecessors. He also insisted, in conceding the election to Democratic candidate James Burke, that he has always been "all wool and a yard wide," and that he has "never told a lie."

(Some of these combinations feel like they just throw stuff up in the air and whatever they catch in the pot goes on the menu.)

("Hey," says Joe. "Maybe ya ma will go along wit' t'is. Ain'cha brutta -- um -- outa town right now?" "Yeh," mutters Sally. "An'nit's jus' as well -- he don' need ta pick up no bad habits from'nem soldjas!")

(There's so much wrong with this that I just can't even.)

(It's been over a year now since we've seen the Captain in the strip, but he's presently a major factor in the "Terry" radio serial, and it's clear that Mr. Lichty is a steady listener.)

The Eagle Editorialist notes that Parks Commissioner Robert Moses has his hands full deciding the fate of the many "God-awful monstrosities" that stand in the city in the guise of monuments. "Each of us has some pet monument we'd like to see pulled down," the EE declares, as he endorses the idea that public art ought to come under a statute of limitations -- after twenty years, old monstrosities should give way to new ones.

The EE also congratulates National League Most Valuable Player Dolph Camilli, and notes that with Reiser and Wyatt coming in as runners up, that ought to put an end once and for all to that old saw about "who've the Dodgers got?"

(The secret to Leo Durocher's success? Chuck Dressen. Seriously.)

("Week-End In Havana?" If there's a scene where a baseball player is smuggled out of a hotel in a laundry cart, I'll scream.)

(Geez, Doc, what kind of mad scientist are you that you have to go out and buy test tubes?)

(Tracy and Dunn had better look to their laurels...)

("Store eyelashes and everything!")

("Of course, we *are* having some problems with quality control. You just can't get the help.")

 

[LizzieMaine]

Mr. Paterno's daddy built himself an actual castle in Washington Heights, so it's not like Sgt. Paterno can't afford it.

"An' I don't know nutt'n 'bout no pavin' contracts. Puttat inya paypeh!"

Again with the stadium!! We haven't heard LaGuardia say a word about it -- yet.

You know, if Punj gave Warbucks the rug right now, no jury would convict.

"We're about to hit a little turbulence..."

Plot Twist Department: What if this guy really *isn't* the real Andy?

Keep moving kid, and don't tell anybody there's a crap game going on in panel one.

I wish I could sleep that easily.

I know some boys who are going to have a hard time of it.

 

[Fading Fast]

...
(There's so much wrong with this that I just can't even.)...

Even as a kid, you recognized that some amount of cognitive dissonance is required to reconcile all the pictures of cheery turkeys with the reality of the Thanksgiving meal (says the guy who will put out our expandable tissue-paper turkey decorations this weekend).

...
("Week-End In Havana?" If there's a scene where a baseball player is smuggled out of a hotel in a laundry cart, I'll scream.)...

The more-interesting scene would be the one that precedes the laundry-cart-smuggling one.

...
(Tracy and Dunn had better look to their laurels...)...

I'm already looking forward to George Bungle as Sam Spade. It's not hard to see Oakdale coming back for this storyline.

...
("Store eyelashes and everything!")...

I believe we have our second sighting of "step ins" in under a week. Who needs the internet for, well never mind, when you have 1941 comicstrips.

... ("Of course, we *are* having some problems with quality control. You just can't get the help.")

So, let me see if I have this correct, your plan is to take over the United States of America with twenty jumbo-sized tanks. I think we can pull Dan Dunn off the case and let Irwin take it from here.

Mr. Paterno's daddy built himself an actual castle in Washington Heights, so it's not like Sgt. Paterno can't afford it....

Paterno's marital contretemps are too silly to be false. Like anyone not born to money, I often think how much easier it would have been, but the older I get, the less I'm convinced of that. Having to earn a living leaves little room for some of the stupid things rich kids seem to do to mess up their lives.

...[
Again with the stadium!! We haven't heard LaGuardia say a word about it -- yet.....

I had the same thought Lizzie. Forget a 160,000 seat stadium, it's 2021 and New York City doesn't have one lousy 80,000 seat football stadium, so both our teams play in the depressing surrounds of "The Meadowlands," for God sakes. Bloomberg blew that one.

[... You know, if Punj gave Warbucks the rug right now, no jury would convict.....

One, if it will help, I'll send a dollar into the Eagle if Punjab will use the rug on Warbucks.

Two, Annie's very close to seeing the Occam's razor "simply pull the plug in the bathtub" solution to draining the mine.

Just rug Warbucks, then Punjab and Annie can run the entire show a whole lot better.

...[ "We're about to hit a little turbulence..."....

Good call on the barrel roll, Lizzie.

 

[LizzieMaine]

Senate debate on the bill to repeal shipping limitations in the Neutrality Act will be limited to ten minutes per Senator, following an agreement today between supporters of the measure and Senate non-interventionist leaders. What may be the final day of debate on the bill, which would legalize the arming of American merchant ships and remove restrictions on such ships traveling to belligerent ports, began this morning with Assistant Senate Minority Leader Warren R. Austin (R-Vermont) arguing for the complete repeal of the entire Neutrality Act as a means of "defeating Adolf Hitler, who has a definite plan for conquering us" without direct military action.

Soviet Premier Joseph Stalin today declared that "Hitlerite Germany must burst of the weight of its own crimes" within the next year. Addressing the traditional military parade in Moscow's Red Square marking the 24th anniversary of the October Revolution, the Soviet leader spoke even as a mere forty to fifty miles away, Red Army forces held Nazi attackers of the Russian capital at bay.

Stalin received a second-place vote for the City Council today as tabulations of the Proportional Representation ballots in Brooklyn neared the halfway mark. The Soviet premier was marked number 2 on a ballot placing new Russian ambassador Maxim Litvinoff in the number 1 spot, with Marshals Voroshilov and Budenny as the third and fourth selections. The Soviet leaders joined such personalities as George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Buffalo Bill, and Charlie McCarthy on the tabulation list.

Tabulation of the more serious candidates, meanwhile, found five incumbent Democrats joined by newcomers Rita Casey and and Nathaniel Kaplan, along with Communist Peter V. Cacchione, Fusionist incumbent Genevieve Earle, and Louis P. Goldberg of the right-wing faction of the American Labor Party occupying the strategic top-ten positions.

(You're taking a lot of chances right now, bub.)

President Roosevelt today named petroleum czar Harold L. Ickes as coordinator of coal for National Defense, placing the control of distribution of "solid fuel" under the same aegis as liquid and gaseous fuels. Mr. Ickes will be in charge of obtaining information on the use of coal and coke for military, defense, and civilian purposes and will make recommendations based on that information to the Supply Priorities and Allocation Board, the Office of Production Management, and the Office of Price Administration in order to ensure adequate supplies at reasonable prices.

A chubby bandit with a moustache robbed two women employees of the Queens Machine Corporation of a $3658 payroll at the corner of Starr Street and Cypress Avenue in Ridgewood. The robber jumped out of a black sedan after forcing the two women to the curb, and, brandishing a gun, reached into their open car window to steal the payroll.

A North Carolina doctor reported today that he has discovered a "charm pill" that will "make most women beautiful for five cents a day." The drug, diethylstilbestrol, is similar in composition to the female sex hormone, and, according to Dr. E. C. Hamblen of Duke Hospital in Durham, N. C., gives women "rounding figures, brings a lovely sheen to their hair, softens their voice, and makes their eyes sparkle."

("Hah!" growls Sally. "Wanna see my eyes sparkle? Gimme a full night's sleep!")

In Atlanta, Georgia, elephant handlers with the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus say eight elephants with the troupe have died of arsenic poisoning in the past week, and five others are critically ill. Among the victims was Puqua, one of only two African Pigmy Elephants in the United States. When attendants removed Puqua's body from her enclosure, her companion Soudan beat the walls with her trunk and dug at the ground with her tusks as an expression of grief. An Atlanta veterinarian, who has never treated any animal larger than a cow, is attempting to treat the poisonings by administering large doses of arsenic antidote to the remaining elephants. Those elephants, numbering about 40, are visibly uneasy, with one of the keepers observing "they're wondering who will be next." The origin of the poison is not known.

Twenty thousand people in Brooklyn have tuberculosis and don't know it, according to the Kings County Medical Society, which will begin a testing drive in the Red Hook-Gowanus Health District next week. The virulent lung disease is most likely to occur in young people, aged between 16 and 38 years, and can be effectively treated if caught early. The goal of the testing campaign will be to, eventually, test every patient of every practicing physician in the borough.

(And remember, Dr. Brady's booklets make fine Christmas gifts!)

(It's not often that Lichty beats Lum and Abner to a gag.)

(Somebody really needs to sit Ace Parker down and tell him that, you know, he's really not a very good baseball player.)

(Next time, Hughie, get it in writing.)

The second edition of "Funzafire" opened this week at the Flatbush Theatre, bandleader Benny Meroff's overt imitation of Olsen and Johnson's "Hellzapoppin." Humor in this edition seems confined to various imprecations shouted at performers on the stage by stooges planted in the audience. Those stooges prove somewhat less than effective when the audience itself numbers only about fifty persons. Random pistol shots and the display of such tasteful props as cuspidors do not enliven the proceedings. During one number, in which a very plump lady attempted to sing opera, the band's drummer began, for inscrutable reasons, to throw chunks of bread at the audience, which lost no time throwing it back on the stage.

(Well, I'm sure this will be tasteful.)

(Y'know, I hear "Funzafire" could use a good writer...)

(Shh!! Don't give away trade secrets!)

(Tanks! Electric fences! A flying wing! Boy, I bet Irwin is sore he's missing out on this!)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

Mr. Field went from being one of the most dissolute upper-class wastrels of 1920s Chicago to, in 1941, the chief bankroller of an ad-free left-wing daily newspaper in Manhattan. Many of Mr. Field's former friends are convinced that he has lost his mind. Mr. Field himself believes he's finally found it.

"Just enough to stun him."

Now boys. Play nice.

OH SURE! THERE YOU GO AGAIN! MR. NEGATIVE!

Good thing you kept up the payments on that bridgework.

C'mon, tell us how Horace broke his arm. Did he finally beat the snot out of Wilmer?

"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child..."

Don't forget your Larry MacPhail Crash Helmet!

Bim's a sap, but he's not a dope.

Wait'll he gets halfway up the stairs before you slap him again, Mamie, it'll be funnier that way.

 

[Fading Fast]

...A chubby bandit with a moustache robbed two women employees of the Queens Machine Corporation of a $3658 payroll at the corner of Starr Street and Cypress Avenue in Ridgewood. The robber jumped out of a black sedan after forcing the two women to the curb, and, brandishing a gun, reached into their open car window to steal the payroll....

Did anyone notice if there was a girl wearing a very short skirt selling gum nearby?

...A North Carolina doctor reported today that he has discovered a "charm pill" that will "make most women beautiful for five cents a day." The drug, diethylstilbestrol, is similar in composition to the female sex hormone, and, according to Dr. E. C. Hamblen of Duke Hospital in Durham, N. C., gives women "rounding figures, brings a lovely sheen to their hair, softens their voice, and makes their eyes sparkle."

("Hah!" growls Sally. "Wanna see my eyes sparkle? Gimme a full night's sleep!")...

That was invented a long time ago, but the "drug" has to be taken by the man, it's called alcohol.

...The second edition of "Funzafire" opened this week at the Flatbush Theatre, bandleader Benny Meroff's overt imitation of Olsen and Johnson's "Hellzapoppin." Humor in this edition seems confined to various imprecations shouted at performers on the stage by stooges planted in the audience. Those stooges prove somewhat less than effective when the audience itself numbers only about fifty persons. Random pistol shots and the display of such tasteful props as cuspidors do not enliven the proceedings. During one number, in which a very plump lady attempted to sing opera, the band's drummer began, for inscrutable reasons, to throw chunks of bread at the audience, which lost no time throwing it back on the stage....

You want to see the original, "Hellzapoppin," and not the ripoff one.

... (Shh!! Don't give away trade secrets!)...

That's a pretty street-level move for trust-fund-kid Connie to have caught.

What the heck kinda pinstripe overcoat is Tom wearing?

... Mr. Field went from being one of the most dissolute upper-class wastrels of 1920s Chicago to, in 1941, the chief bankroller of an ad-free left-wing daily newspaper in Manhattan. Many of Mr. Field's former friends are convinced that he has lost his mind. Mr. Field himself believes he's finally found it.....

After how we all felt about Raven, we can completely sympathize with the woman in "The Neighbors."

The left hates inherited wealth, but then and now, it funds a lot more of its causes than those of the right. Yet as with Mr. Field spending only $5 million of his $200 million on his leftist paper, rarely does the scion impoverish him or herself for his or her anti-wealth ideals.

Having lived in NYC for the better part of three decades, I've seen more than one Central Park crime wave come and go as once they spike enough, the public demands a response. The scale of the park, 842 acres, is enough that it could have its own police force. (There is a some sort of Park Police, but the real policing is still done by the NYPD.)

...
C'mon, tell us how Horace broke his arm. Did he finally beat the snot out of Wilmer?....

Tossing the broken arm in there without an explanation is odd, no?

... Don't forget your Larry MacPhail Crash Helmet!....

I doubt "Terry and the Pirates" was syndicated in England (or was it?), but so much of it has an pre-James-Bond feel, you wonder if Ian Fleming somehow read it.

 

[LizzieMaine]

The British Air Ministry announced today that the Royal Air Force carried out what is considered to be the biggest air attack ever made against Germany and the occupied countries in a huge offensive concentrated against Berlin, Cologne, and the industrial centers of the Ruhr. More than 500 bomber planes are believed to have taken part in the raids, with losses of 35 planes due to severe weather and bad icing conditions.

The proposal to remove Neutrality Act limitations on American shipping in belligerent zones faces its final test today in the House of Representatives after earning approval in the Senate by a vote of 50 to 37. The original bill proposed by President Roosevelt, which would allow the arming of merchant vessels, was amended in the Senate to include a provision allowing US merchant vessels to land at belligerent ports and pass thru combat zones, and it has not yet been determined if the final vote will be taken on the original or the amended version.

Red Army forces under the command of Lt. General Konstantin Rokossvsky have hurled back an attack by German tank and motorized forces against the southern portion of the Moscow front near Volokolamsk. It is reported that after pushing back the Nazi thrust, Gen. Rokossvsky's forces took the initiative, pushing forward against the Nazi lines. Meanwhile, German forces were reported stalled after bitter fighting in the Tula region, 100 miles south of Moscow, where two and a half regiments fought for three days without gaining entrance to the city. It is reported that the Germans are now waiting for the arrival of reinforcements before resuming their attempts to take the city.

Nazi sources claim that German troops have broken thru strong Soviet defenses in a drive on the Isthmus of Kerch, in an effort to open a path to the rich oil fields of the Crimea. It is reported from Berlin that Russian defenses have been penetrated along the road to Ketch for a distance of six miles. It is also reported that heavy fighting continues outside the Crimean port of Sevastopol.

("'At gun you useta have," says Sally, with a nervous quaver. "You got rid of it, dincha?" "What gun?" replies Joe, chewing a mouthful of brisket. "Here, gimmie 'smora t'at gravy." "'At gun my brutta give ya t'at time. You know t'one, ya had it in ya sock drawa. Nex' t' t'em funny books ya got f'm 'at guy downa poolroom." "Ohhhhh yeah. Look, t'at wan' even a real gun, I tol' ya befoah. It's onea t'em guns ya stick in a patata, an' ya shoot lit'l patata pellets wit' it. It's jus' for a gag, it ain' nut'n t'at'd hoit nobuddy." "Well, get rid of it jus' t'same," frowns Sally. "We don' know what cou'd happ'n! What if Leonora is alloigic ta patatas? I ask ya!")

A Brooklyn sailor was officially listed as "lost in action" today by the U.S. Navy after going down with the torpedoed destroyer Reuben James. Seaman Joseph Gustave Little, of 1309 Nostrand Avenue in Flatbush was the 101st crew member added to the list of men believed dead in the submarine attack on the ship off Iceland.

Seven police radio cars rushed to the Brooklyn Elks Club at 150 South Oxford Street last night after neighbors flooded the local precinct's switchboard with frightened calls reporting a gun massacre within the clubhouse. Patrolmen bursting into the club rooms found instead a detachment of artillerymen from Fort Hamilton firing blank rounds from machine guns as part of a military demonstration staged for club members. The incident caused a near riot in the surrounding neighborhood amidst fears of "wholesale slaughter."

Several churches in Bedford-Stuyvesant have discontinued evening services amidst reports that "night marauders" are terrorizing women and children in that section and in other "Negro population centers" in the borough. Community leaders have pointed to the suspension of such services as evidence that Police Commissioner Lewis J. Valentine's claim that such lawlessness had been "corrected two years ago" is incorrect. Monsignior John L. Belford of the R. C. Church of the Nativity and Dr. Milton J. Ferguson of the Brooklyn Public Library agreed that the situation continues to exist in the neighborhoods, but rectors of Episcopal and Congregational churches in the section defended the Commissioner's statement, arguing that "the crime situation has been materially improved."

(That's what you get when you hire one of those cheap $4000 press agents.)

("Lord Plushbottom, the Monopoly Man, and Guy Kibbee walk into a boardroom..")

A Woodside woman will serve an indeterminate prison term for beating her daughter with a carving fork. Thirty-three-year-old Mrs. Ethel Hartos begins serving her term today after sentencing in Queens County Court. She was convicted of striking thirteen-year-old Anita Hartos with the fork, causing twelve visible welts and brusies on the girl's back and shoulders. Mrs. Hartos admitted hitting her daughter "two or three times" after the girl "used obscene language," but denied inflicting all of the visible injuries.

(The "Brooklyn Americans?" Nah, it'll never fly. You know what would be a good name for a Brooklyn hockey team? I mean, a really good name? Do ya?)

("I don't know, Mr. Goldwyn. He just doesn't look the type.")

("I don't believe the Nazis can be tamed by charm alone." Where were you in 1938, Mr. Pollock?)

(One thing that's always bugged me about super-speed characters is why their clothes don't burn off from friction. I'm really surprised Boody hasn't explored that question.)

("Black Mask" was never like this.)

(Angel must get an awful stiff neck standing like that.)

("Yes I'd say you were right about that, Dan." Ah, Harrigan knows the role of a sidekick well.)

 

[LizzieMaine]

And in the Daily News...

"He didn't have it when we left home." Are you sure, Ma? Did you frisk him?

"Don't you know there's almost a war on??"

The Rhinelander case was the number one tabloid story of 1925, reaching its nadir when Alice Jones was ordered to partially strip in front of the jury to display her skin color. She deserves every cent she gets.

Mr. Gould's sense of perspective is a bit impressionistic today.

Wait, Pat's got a JOB? Pity Raven isn't alive to see it.

"Of course, you may also recall in that story that only the just were saved. I go now to chop wood. Ponder my words."

Poor Skeez blows his whole roll at Childs.

"Aw nuts! The good champagne's in behind them bags of ten-dollar gold pieces. I'll give him the cheap stuff, the old pelican don't know the difference."

It's not nice to mess with your guests' heads.

Um, especially after what happened six months ago...