Things My Mother Taught Me.

[LadyStardust]

I just stumbled across this, and thought it was too good not to share. I think everyone here can relate to at least a couple of these "lessons". If you have any more of your own, please contribute!

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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother ! taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

 

[HadleyH]

That's nice LadyStardust, thanks. And if I may I'll add one of my own:

1. My mother taught me TO DOUBT.
"Don't listen to all I say, I'm only human dear, mothers can also be wrong"

 

[Lola Valentine]

That's nice LadyStardust, thanks. And if I may I'll add one of my own:

1. My mother taught me TO DOUBT.
"Don't listen to all I say, I'm only human dear, mothers can also be wrong"

Wow, I thought mothers were supposed to always be right?! Or maybe that's just what mine told me.....I've very rarely heard of a mother confessing to being wrong, you're lucky!

 

[HadleyH]

Wow, I thought mothers were supposed to always be right?! Or maybe that's just what mine told me.....I've very rarely heard of a mother confessing to being wrong, you're lucky!

Yep, I know.

 

[dashiell]

Neat! I want to add a couple:

My Mother taught me STRATEGY:
"You can either do as you're told and learn from my experience or mess up and learn from your own."

My Mother taught me PHILOSOPHY:
"I am the axiom of your entire life; don't argue with me."

 

[LadyStardust]

Thanks Hadley and Dashiell for sharing your own mothers' wisdom! I've got to echo Lola about how unusual, but fortunate it is for you to have a mother who wasn't above admitting that she wasn't right all the time. I know too many people for whom that was not the case.

 

[carter]

Hera are a few more that my mother imparted.

My mother taught me PATIENCE.
"Just wait until your father gets home."

My mother taught me to CONSIDER MY ACTIONS.
"What in the world do you think you're doing?"

My mother taught me to LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP.
"Well, if everyone else was jumping off the bridge that doesn't mean you had to."

My mother taught me TO THINK BEFORE I SPOKE
"Who do you thiink you're talking to young man?"

My mother taught me FOREBEARANCE
"Don't act like those brats down the street."

My mother taught me to be CIVILIZED.
"Stop acting like a bunch of heathens."

My mother taught me to FETCH.
"Bring me that belt right now!"

My mother taught me to BE A GENTLEMAN.
"You'd better be nice to to your little sister, or else."

My mother taught me to DECIDE.
"Do you want your father to pull this car over?"

My mother taught me to EXTEND MYSELF.
"Don't think I can't reach you from here."

My mother taught me to LOVE.
"I love you, no matter what."

 

[carter]

Lady Stardust, where did you find the original items posted in this thread? Wonderful!

 

[Ecuador Jim]

To follow your format...

My mother taught me to be ECO-FRIENDLY...
"Close that door; We're not heating the whole world ya know!"

 

[LadyStardust]

Lady Stardust, where did you find the original items posted in this thread? Wonderful!

I'm actually not sure, I got it in an email forward from a friend! I've written her back asking where she found it, and I'll post here once I have an answer.

And thanks all for the great additions, it's fun to see how many you can relate to also.

 

[carter]

Well, I talked with my mom this morning and a few more come to mind.

My mother taught me to ACCEPT.
"I cooked it and you're going to eat it."

My mother taught me to BE CURIOUS.
"Just keep it up, young man, and see what happens."

My mother taught me a SENSE OF DIRECTION.
"Just where do you think you're going?"
and LOCATION
"Where have you been?"

My mother me about BUILDING WEALTH.
"If I had a nickle for every time I've..."

My mother taught me AGRICULTURE.
"Money doesn't grow on trees you know."

My mother taught me about FOOTWEAR.
"If the shoe fits, wear it."

My mother taught me about CLOSURE.
"Zip it."

 

[cassylynn]

My mother taught me the laws of REAPING AND SOWING
"I hope you have a daughter just like you" lol

 

[carter]

My mother taught me COMPASSION.
"I just can't put your dad in a home (or aVA facility)."

She said this after visiting facilities for altzheimers sufferers all day with my sister and me.

It wore her out, even with help, but she kept Dad at home for three more years until he passed away.

I wouldn't encourage anyone to do this without some serious contemplation of what this entails 24 hours a day. This was her decision after considering all the alternatives (there aren't many).