Today's Pinup Fashion a Sly Wink to the Past - New York Times

Discussion in 'The Observation Bar' started by scotrace, May 22, 2012.

  1. AmateisGal

    AmateisGal I'll Lock Up

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    This article was on ABC News' website today. It made me nauseous. (Some excerpts are bolded - emphasis mine)

    http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment...gar-baby-dates/story?id=16623859#.T-S3VrX2bIJ

    Sugar Daddies Cover Debts for Sugar Babies

    "Almost anything can be ordered online and then delivered to your house these days, including a beautiful college student, legally, and for the right price.

    Tommy, 63, and Monte, 21, have been together for two years, and they refer to each other has "sugar daddy" and "sugar baby." And Tommy has six others.

    A retired IT executive, Tommy is thrice divorced and the father of two young adults around Monte's age. Although he met Monte at a beach party, Tommy said he meets many of his sugar babies on a website called SeekingArrangement.com. It is one of the many "sugar daddy" websites, where men meet and offer "sugar babies," or young women, financial support in exchange for companionship.

    When Monte needs money, Tommy is her go-to guy. He said he drops about $5,000 on her each month, paying her expenses, buying her clothes and taking her out on the town in a chauffeured car. Monte said she uses the money to pay for a college education she couldn't otherwise afford.

    "He's like, 'I could help you get through school easy and you just travel with me, have fun, be around me and just keep me company,' and I said, 'sure! You're going to pay for my school?'" Monte said.

    Tommy said he retired with enough money to spend about $150,000 a year on his female companions combined. It's cheaper than marriage, he said, and a small price to pay for what he gets in return.

    "When you walk into a room, and you have a beautiful woman with you, it's a compliment to you, as a male," Tommy said. "It's like pulling up in a really nice car or something. I hate to compare it that way, but it is."

    For Monte, the relationship is valuable because she said she is experiencing new things that she otherwise would never have had the opportunity to try.

    "[Tommy] taught me how to golf, cook, be a classy woman," she said. "He's just transformed me back to something I've always wanted to become."

    But Monte admitted there are some drawbacks to her situation with Tommy.

    "Sometimes it gets to me to know that he is my only way of income and that makes me feel like you know, I'm not really doing anything," she said.

    So how is this legal? The courts have decreed that as long as a woman is being paid for services besides sex, such as "companionship," the act does not classify as prostitution. That's the argument that Brandon Wade, SeekingArrangement.com's founder, also makes.

    "If the sugar daddy is, in fact, meeting a girl for sex and money, then they're using website in violation of agreement, which actually prohibits that usage," he said.

    Wade said about 90 percent of the 1.5 million registered members on his site are sugar daddies, and only 10 percent are sugar babies.

    "The sugar daddy and sugar baby relationship is far from prostitution," he said. "It's about a romantic relationship between two people. The only difference is a sugar daddy is very wealthy."

    Tommy admitted he has sex with all of his sugar babies and that is part of the "big attraction," but he said he doesn't see his relationships with them as prostitution.

    "If we're talking about money exchanged for sex, I don't see that this way. It's just not a 'wham, bam, thank you, ma'am,'" he said. "You pay somehow, somewhere for sex no matter what it is. You know, they say wives do it for refrigerators."

    And men do not have to be millionaires to be sugar daddies.

    "There are sugar babies on different levels," Tommy said. "You know, you've got your Wal-Mart sugar babies and then you got your Neiman Marcus sugar babies, and it's which ones you want to shop at."
    Olympia, a 24-year-old, full-time student at a broadcasting school in Denver said she has been a sugar baby since she was 19 and 100 percent of her school fees, which is $15,000 a year, have been paid for by sugar daddies.

    "I've got my rent paid for up to a year," she said. "I've gotten all the cars I've had, have been paid for by sugar daddies. I've gotten to go to the Caribbean. I've gotten to travel all across the nation. I just got some brand new boobs. Life's great."

    Olympia said she is a pro at juggling several sugar daddies at a time. She has been seeing one man named Larry, a Mormon from Utah, for almost two years now and said the relationship is the perfect scenario for her because they do not have sex. But she admitted the perks of the sugar daddy-sugar baby relationship come at an emotional loss.

    "Sometimes being in a sugar baby-sugar daddy relationship, it does get lonely for me because I can't always-- That person can't always be there for me," she said. "[But] they respect me. They let me be myself. It's the dream."
     
  2. LizzieMaine

    LizzieMaine Bartender

    When Daddy Browning pulled that stuff in the twenties, he was branded a degenerate. And it didn't end up too well for Peaches, either.
     
  3. Undertow

    Undertow My Mail is Forwarded Here

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    Maybe if you walk into a room full of teenage boys, then yes, I believe they will think you're something special.

    If you walked into a room full of men, they would mutter under their breath and shake their heads. Real men are far more impressed when a friend walks into the room with his wife of 35 years. That kind of man has dignity, patience and humility, and that's what men respect.
     
  4. Then there's also the Sugar Baby's male counterpart: The Boytoy, known back in the day as a Gigolo.
     
  5. AmateisGal

    AmateisGal I'll Lock Up

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    Exactly. That this guy still thinks this way is undoubtedly why he has been divorced three times. :eusa_doh:
     
  6. AmateisGal

    AmateisGal I'll Lock Up

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    Yes. I believe Madonna has one of those (again)...
     
  7. Undertow

    Undertow My Mail is Forwarded Here

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    Exactly. What a chump.

    You know, I think the victims of all this are the eventual husbands and boyfriends of these women. These girls think this is fun, and - god, I don't know - cool? But if/when they eventually grow up and want a family, the man in their lives will be quite hurt to find out his wife used to sleep with old men for money.

    I knew a gay couple consisting of a relatively pedestrian, conservative man who we'll call "Tim" and an aged pretty boy we'll call "Paul". The most fractious point between them was that Tim couldn't go somewhere without Paul running into someone he used to know - usaully an older man. There was a real sense of terrible pain and visible hurt in Tim's face when the two of them had to confront Paul's past.

    (Warning - non religious version to follow:)
    There's no shame to have had lovers in your life. That's human nature, for better or worse. But when you settle down and start to nurture a real relationship, it's often extraordinarily difficult to "forget" a spouse's wanton actions. Of course, forgiveness is part of a loving relationship, but why build those mountains now when you could just roll over speed bumps instead?
     
  8. C-dot

    C-dot Call Me a Cab

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    Especially when you have to confront it all the time! There is nothing worse than being out with a guy, and the waitress/bartender/girl at the other table/etc. is an ex-fling of his :eusa_doh:
     
  9. This is why people move from one side of a country to another. :p
     
  10. Miss Moonlight

    Miss Moonlight A-List Customer

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    Whoa, did the subject of this thread ever change...

    I really find it depends on how they each interact with the other. I have no problem if they're respectful and friendly. If they're not, I'm not going to be with that guy after such a spectacle, anyway. Any man I'm with needs to respect me and have the integrity not to be a cad.
     
  11. Feraud

    Feraud Bartender

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    Ah the old "they respect me" delusion..
     
  12. AmateisGal

    AmateisGal I'll Lock Up

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    Delusion is right.
     
  13. Undertow

    Undertow My Mail is Forwarded Here

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    Have you ever seen the movie Boondock Saints? I was really good friends with this girl (platonic, mind you) from high school on into our current age. We used to hang out all the time, all around town, had a real gas.

    But no kidding - I couldn't go to the gas station without meeting 3 guys she'd been with. Of course that didn't bother me, but it drove one of her fiances to suicide. He left a 7 year old girl behind. She's been married twice and I think he would have been number three. He just couldn't hack it - he couldn't stand going, literally, everywhere and meeting these ex-flings. He stopped trusting her when he'd find texts from these guys. He broke down one night and asked her why she couldn't just leave the past in the past - she told him sorry.

    It would be one thing if we were talking, oh, 100 ex-flings, but unfortunately for her, and him, it is more in the neighborhood of 250+. You know, she's my friend, but I can't say I have a whole lot of respect for that kind of behavior. And I certainly couldn't marry a woman like that. [huh]
     
  14. 250?! In Iowa?! lol lol
     
  15. Undertow

    Undertow My Mail is Forwarded Here

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    Tell me about it. You go to the bar, there's a bartender and someone sitting by the jukebox who knows her. You go to McDonald's, one of the fry cooks waves. You hit the auto parts store, some guy in the wipers aisle calls out. It's bizarre, and most definitely ain't my thang. ;)
     
  16. William Stratford

    William Stratford A-List Customer

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    :eek:

    100?!

    Dear god, I wouldnt want to be with someone who had a dozen ex-flings never mind 100! :eeek:
     
  17. The way you make Iowa sound so small and then you have this glowing example here. It makes me think that she has gotten to most of the population in your county. lol lol lol
    Yes, it is Bizzareeeee. :p
    [video=youtube_share;BiTpuCVQ2CU]http://youtu.be/BiTpuCVQ2CU[/video]
     
  18. Gee, you are way behind the times there William. :p:rofl:
     
  19. William Stratford

    William Stratford A-List Customer

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    And proudly so, old chap. :D
     

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