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Clean Jokes
- Thread starter jamespowers
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HudsonHawk
I'll Lock Up
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Police officer arrives at the scene of a domestic disturbance. He calls in on the radio to his boss:
Officer: "There's a woman here who just shot her husband for walking on the floor she'd just mopped"
Boss: "Did you arrest her?"
Officer: "Not yet"
Boss: "Well, why not?"
Officer: "The floor is still wet"
Officer: "There's a woman here who just shot her husband for walking on the floor she'd just mopped"
Boss: "Did you arrest her?"
Officer: "Not yet"
Boss: "Well, why not?"
Officer: "The floor is still wet"
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Lean'n'mean
I'll Lock Up
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Why do married men put on more weight than bachelors ?
Well, when a bachelor goes to the fridge he doesn't find anything he fancies so goes back to bed, whereas a married man goes to bed & doesn't find anything he fancies so goes back to the fridge.
Marriage teaches you things like patience, loyalty, humility & lots of other things you wouldn't need if you had stayed single.
Bigamy is when a man has one wife too many. Monogamy is too.
A blond at the wheel receives a call from her husband;
" Honey, be careful, I've just heard on the radio that there's a car driving the wrong way on the freeway"
" Well," Replied the wife " The radio was wrong, there are hundreds of them."
Well, when a bachelor goes to the fridge he doesn't find anything he fancies so goes back to bed, whereas a married man goes to bed & doesn't find anything he fancies so goes back to the fridge.
Marriage teaches you things like patience, loyalty, humility & lots of other things you wouldn't need if you had stayed single.
Bigamy is when a man has one wife too many. Monogamy is too.
A blond at the wheel receives a call from her husband;
" Honey, be careful, I've just heard on the radio that there's a car driving the wrong way on the freeway"
" Well," Replied the wife " The radio was wrong, there are hundreds of them."
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Navy smells like ocean-water, Army smells like groundwater and Airforce smells like after shave-splashwater. 
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GHT
I'll Lock Up
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This is reputedly genuine, back in the days of non pc. I'm going to give a copy to the garage that looks after our cars:
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Why the dinosaurs really died off.
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- Messages
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I just had to wipe the spittle off of my iPad screen after reading that one.
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