Clean Jokes

• Mar 29, 2020

• #1,981

BobHufford

Messages

14,576

Location

Ragged Edge of the Grid / Missouri Ozarks

We are 16 days into self-isolation and it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks. It breaks my heart to see her like this. I have thought very hard about how I can cheer her up. I have even considered letting her in – but rules are rules.

 

• Mar 29, 2020

• #1,982

Hurricane Jack

Messages

17,610

 

• Mar 29, 2020

• #1,983

Hurricane Jack

Messages

17,610

 

• Mar 29, 2020

• #1,984

GHT

I'll Lock Up

Messages

9,405

Location

New Forest

Hurricane Jack said:

View attachment 223565

Click to expand...

The times that I have rubbed my eyes after chopping chillies. Here's the perfect solution.

 

• Mar 29, 2020

• #1,985

LuvMyMan

I’ll Lock Up.

Messages

4,558

Location

Michigan

You all are getting some damned funny stuff posted here...LOL! Thanks!

 

• Mar 29, 2020

• #1,986

Hurricane Jack

Messages

17,610

The coronavirus has mutated. Stay off the streets!

 

• Mar 30, 2020

• #1,987

Zombie_61

Messages

11,921

Location

Southern California

 

• Mar 30, 2020

• #1,988

BobHufford

Messages

14,576

Location

Ragged Edge of the Grid / Missouri Ozarks

 

• Mar 31, 2020

• #1,989

BobHufford

Messages

14,576

Location

Ragged Edge of the Grid / Missouri Ozarks

 

• Apr 1, 2020

• #1,990

BobHufford

Messages

14,576

Location

Ragged Edge of the Grid / Missouri Ozarks

 

• Apr 2, 2020

• #1,991

Frunobulax

Messages

19,164

Location

Funkytown, USA

Has anybody told the Amish what's going on?

 

• Apr 4, 2020

• #1,992

BobHufford

Messages

14,576

Location

Ragged Edge of the Grid / Missouri Ozarks

 

• Apr 4, 2020

• #1,993

BobHufford

Messages

14,576

Location

Ragged Edge of the Grid / Missouri Ozarks

 

• Apr 4, 2020

• #1,994

Zombie_61

Messages

11,921

Location

Southern California

 

• Apr 6, 2020

• #1,995

Zombie_61

Messages

11,921

Location

Southern California

 

• Apr 6, 2020

• #1,996

Trenchfriend

Messages

12,502

Location

Germany

Halle, early GDR times.

A man comes to the railstation and goes through the platform-barrier.
Suddenly, a railway staff man screams:

"Heeey, don't shove so much!!"

The man:
"Why "shove"? I'm still all alone!!

Railway staff man:
"I despite have to say this. It's my instruction!"

 

• Apr 7, 2020

• #1,997

BobHufford

Messages

14,576

Location

Ragged Edge of the Grid / Missouri Ozarks

 

• Apr 7, 2020

• #1,998

GHT

I'll Lock Up

Messages

9,405

Location

New Forest

My friend texted me to say that being housebound was getting to him. "It's like being behind bars," he moaned. "Sounds good to me," I thought.

 

• Apr 7, 2020

• #1,999

Hurricane Jack

Messages

17,610

From my cousin

 

• Apr 7, 2020

• #2,000

Hurricane Jack

Messages

17,610

GHT said:

My friend texted me to say that being housebound was getting to him. "It's like being behind bars," he moaned. "Sounds good to me," I thought.
View attachment 225589 View attachment 225590 View attachment 225591

Click to expand...

I spy my chair.