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- 12,494
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Book dealer asks his new girlfriend:
"Do you know Ibsen?"
"No.
How is that done??"
"Do you know Ibsen?"
"No.
How is that done??"-
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Clean Jokes
- Thread starter jamespowers
- Start date
- Status
- Messages
- 12,494
- Location
- Germany
A draftee is on his mustering and hands a vial with urine from his girlfriend.
Doc after exam:
"I got a good and a bad news for you. The bad one is, you're diabetic. But the good one is, you're pregnant!!"
Doc after exam:
"I got a good and a bad news for you. The bad one is, you're diabetic. But the good one is, you're pregnant!!"
- Messages
- 12,494
- Location
- Germany
A couple in the mountains.
She: "It's wonderful here, I'm speechles!"
He: "Great, than we stay here for six weeks!"
She: "It's wonderful here, I'm speechles!"
He: "Great, than we stay here for six weeks!"
- Messages
- 12,494
- Location
- Germany
"You know the Mona-Lisa-sparkling wine?"
"No. How is it?"
"Two glasses and you will never get rid of that comical grin."
"No. How is it?"
"Two glasses and you will never get rid of that comical grin."
- Messages
- 12,494
- Location
- Germany
"Do you drive to Hamburg?"
"Yeah, get in, young lady!"
"I'm not your young lady."
"Doesn't matter. We're even not yet in Hamburg."
"Yeah, get in, young lady!"
"I'm not your young lady."
"Doesn't matter. We're even not yet in Hamburg."
Benny Holiday
My Mail is Forwarded Here
- Messages
- 3,758
- Location
- Sydney Australia
Warning: I just bought a fancy new GPS unit for my car, the type you can program in different voices for the navigation directions. Do not under any circumstances choose Bono's voice! I tried it, and now the streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
Benny Holiday
My Mail is Forwarded Here
- Messages
- 3,758
- Location
- Sydney Australia
I noticed the train station in town has replaced its old digital timetable screen with a flash new OLED timetable. Must be a sign of the times.
- Messages
- 19,141
- Location
- Funkytown, USA
- Messages
- 17,604
Took me a min on this one!
- Messages
- 11,914
- Location
- Southern California
You're still ahead of me; I had to look it up.
- Messages
- 12,494
- Location
- Germany
In the hat store:
"These hats are all too expensive for me. Do you got nothing cheaper??"
"Only Zipfelmützen (pointed caps)."
"No, I wanted something for my head!"
"These hats are all too expensive for me. Do you got nothing cheaper??"
"Only Zipfelmützen (pointed caps)."
"No, I wanted something for my head!"
- Messages
- 12,494
- Location
- Germany
- Messages
- 19,141
- Location
- Funkytown, USA
You're still ahead of me; I had to look it up.
Yeah, I had to stare at it for a bit myself before it clicked.
- Messages
- 17,604
I liked it, it was funny when it did.
- Messages
- 14,561
@Frunobulax was probably wondering why he was hearing sounds of silence in the "like" department there for a while ...
- Messages
- 12,494
- Location
- Germany
"Hey, Tom, you still bought this waterbed lately, to liven up your marriage. Did it work??"
Tom:
"You can see it from thereon, how I call that thing. "The Dead Sea"."
Tom:
"You can see it from thereon, how I call that thing. "The Dead Sea"."
- Messages
- 19,141
- Location
- Funkytown, USA
Popularity is overrated.
- Messages
- 17,604
That's exactly what what's-his-name said to Paul Simon.
- Messages
- 19,141
- Location
- Funkytown, USA
I just checked. Art Garfunkel's net worth is ~$65M, Paul Simon ~$75M.
So, yeah...
- Messages
- 17,604
But Paul got all the girls!I just checked. Art Garfunkel's net worth is ~$65M, Paul Simon ~$75M.
So, yeah...
https://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/music/68852145/art-garfunkel-calls-paul-simon-a-monster
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