Is a Dinner Jacket too much for a Cocktail Party?

Doggy Darb · Jul 14, 2009

Ladies and Gentlemen: My wife and I will be attending a cocktail party this summer at our friends' home. Vintage dress is known to be acceptable, but I am concerned that wearing a dinner jacket will perhaps exceed the formality of the host and hostess. What are your opinions on this matter?

shindeco · Jul 14, 2009

'Phone and ask the hostess (that's what the old etiquette books say to do)

dhermann1 · Jul 14, 2009

I'm a think maybe not. A nice sport jacket, tie, etc. If you want to get spiffy, try the old linen or white slacks with double breasted navy blazer, club tie and spectators routine, if you have it.

Canadian · Jul 14, 2009

Sorry to chime in so late, but I'd wear a DJ if I was hosting, not attending. That way, anybody attending could wear anything from business dress through to a DJ and not look out of place.

When you host a cocktail party, by all means break out your best dinner jacket. Heck, consider a smoking jacket.

Thomas

Marc Chevalier · Jul 14, 2009

Shindeco's advice is perfect. Phone the host/ess and ask.

.

Miss_Bella_Hell · Jul 14, 2009

You're asking the wrong group if something is too much. It's too much in the way wearing vintage is too much. It's soooo right.

Feraud · Jul 14, 2009

Miss_Bella_Hell said:
You're asking the wrong group if something is too much. It's too much in the way wearing vintage is too much. It's soooo right.

Ha, ha right! This is the crowd that will recommend a top hat to a picnic. lol

Edward · Jul 14, 2009

By way of reflex, I would refer the gentleman to the quotation in my signature.... though with some thought put into it, I agree with the 'ask the hostess' route.

Paisley · Jul 14, 2009

Go ahead and wear it. You can always take it off.

dhermann1 · Jul 14, 2009

Question

Are you thinking of wearing a white or black dinner jacket? I would discourage you from wearing a white dinner jacket slightly less than a black one.
But if you do wear it, don't take it off!
(Unless you get lucky

heh heh. . .)

David V · Jul 14, 2009

Miss_Bella_Hell said:
You're asking the wrong group if something is too much. It's too much in the way wearing vintage is too much. It's soooo right.

Oh! I hardly think of a Dinner jacket as vintage.

GBR · Jul 14, 2009

There is a vast difference between "vintage" and wearing a dinner jacket - the are not equals at all.

Whilst phoning you host is one thing, he or she may be too polite to say no, yet you would turn up out dressing them and doubtless every other person present.

Wear some vintage day dress and save the dinner jacket to a dinner - dressing thus in private homes is very rare and certainly pre-organised.

Doggy Darb · Jul 14, 2009

I thank you all for your responses.

I am usually reluctant to inquire with the host and hostess on these matters, as not to suggest ignorance or to imply that I do not believe them to dress properly. However, on this occasion I believe that I must. I would be ashamed should I embarrass my hosts. Edit: GBR, I am inclined to agree with you.

Of course the jacket would be ivory, double-breasted. A gentleman, or even I, should never remove his jacket in proper company. If the evening is particularly hot, it is acceptable to remove your jacket only if the host does so.

The jacket is being made at this time, and I am anxious to wear it. This party will likely be my first opportunity to do so.

Carlisle Blues · Jul 14, 2009

Doggy Darb said:
I thank you all for your responses.

I am usually reluctant to inquire with the host and hostess on these matters, as not to suggest ignorance or to imply that I do not believe them to dress properly. However, on this occasion I believe that I must. I would be ashamed should I embarrass my hosts. Edit: GBR, I am inclined to agree with you.

Of course the jacket would be ivory, double-breasted. A gentleman, or even I, should never remove his jacket in proper company. If the evening is particularly hot, it is acceptable to remove your jacket only if the host does so.

The jacket is being made at this time, and I am anxious to wear it. This party will likely be my first opportunity to do so.

Hey Dude!!!!!!!!!!!! Loosen up it's a party!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Parties are fun..

Orsini · Jul 15, 2009

I hate to have anyone pass up a chance to wear evening semi-formal/black tie but unless the invitation says "black tie" or "black tie preferred" I would recommend not doing so. In the United States, calling the hostess to clarify the dress code is always appropriate so long as you do not hint too broadly that you would like an excuse to wear your vintage dinner suit...

Not-Bogart13 · Jul 15, 2009

Doggy Darb said:
I am usually reluctant to inquire with the host and hostess on these matters, as not to suggest ignorance or to imply that I do not believe them to dress properly. However, on this occasion I believe that I must.

Of course the jacket would be ivory, double-breasted. A gentleman, or even I, should never remove his jacket in proper company. If the evening is particularly hot, it is acceptable to remove your jacket only if the host does so.

The jacket is being made at this time, and I am anxious to wear it. This party will likely be my first opportunity to do so.

I well understand your eagerness, and nothing stings more than having to wait for the right time to debut something so special.

However, the call is warranted. Rather than being overly specific, simply ask the host(ess) what level of dress. If the answer is too vague for you, mention examples. When in this situation, I might (and have) said; "When you say formal, do you mean suit and tie, or tux and tails?" or "By casual do you mean khaki's and a blazer, or jeans and a polo shirt?"
This sort of inquiry might feel awkward, but not as awkward as being the only man dressed for a wedding. Also, it cuts to heart of the matter while eliminating any temptation for the host to say 'yes' to anything in order to be polite.

hatted · Jul 15, 2009

Last month, I wore a suit & tie & fedora to my daughter's 8th grade graduation. Then I saw that everyone else was dressed way more casual (this is norcal after all), so I dumped my coat & tie in the car (I kept the hat because, well you know, it's a hat).

Doggy Darb · Jul 26, 2009

hatted said:
Last month, I wore a suit & tie & fedora to my daughter's 8th grade graduation. Then I saw that everyone else was dressed way more casual (this is norcal after all), so I dumped my coat & tie in the car (I kept the hat because, well you know, it's a hat).

I have experienced similar situations. There was a "ball" that I attended under the impression that formal cloths were required. Believing it to be black tie, I was shocked to find that formal referred to a range of cloths including tuxedos (very few in number) as well as the always appropriate blazer and no necktie. It is unfortunate that we feel uncomfortable when we are the only ones dressed for the occasion.

You have advised me well. I will speak with the hostess; keeping my fingers crossed. Thank you all.

Is a Dinner Jacket too much for a Cocktail Party?

Doggy Darb

New in Town

shindeco

A-List Customer

dhermann1

I'll Lock Up

Canadian

One of the Regulars

Marc Chevalier

Gone Home

Miss_Bella_Hell

My Mail is Forwarded Here

Feraud

Edward

Paisley

I'll Lock Up

dhermann1

I'll Lock Up

David V

A-List Customer

GBR

One of the Regulars

Doggy Darb

New in Town

Carlisle Blues

My Mail is Forwarded Here

Orsini

Familiar Face

Not-Bogart13

Call Me a Cab

hatted

One of the Regulars

Doggy Darb

New in Town

Similar threads

Members online

Forum statistics

Latest posts

Latest posts

Is a Dinner Jacket too much for a Cocktail Party?

New in Town

A-List Customer

I'll Lock Up

One of the Regulars

Gone Home

My Mail is Forwarded Here

I'll Lock Up

I'll Lock Up

A-List Customer

One of the Regulars

New in Town

My Mail is Forwarded Here

Familiar Face

Call Me a Cab

One of the Regulars

New in Town

Similar threads

Log in

Forum statistics