Are you a Military wife?

*martini*time* · Oct 13, 2009

C-dot said:
Military wives and girlfriends, step forward!

I'm engaged to a soldier in the Canadian Forces, and I know there are a few other girls around here who have soldiers of their own, like Emer and *martini*time*. There may even be a few Army girls here!

Good support groups are hard to find these days - they were utterly nonexistent in the Golden Era, especially for returning soldiers. So lets have a discussion - deployments, engagements, and some "what did they do back then?"'s.

The hero in my life leaves again for some training in at the beginning of November. But he's getting me a fluffy kitten to keep me company when he's gone. I'm so proud of him. His best friend is currently defending our freedom's in Afghanistan and I think and pray for him everyday! (come home safe adam!) I haven't had to deal with a deployment to Afghanistan yet, (we met just after he got home) but we've both promised to cross that bridge when we come to it. I have never felt so proud to be Canadian. I am actually going to go to Rememberance Day ceremonies this year.

crwritt · Oct 13, 2009

I'm not a military wife, but my son is in the US Navy. Right now he's in training school, nearby enough to drive home (6 hours) and party with his friends occasional weekends. I love seeing him (rarely) in his uniform, and I think he's matured a lot in the past few months.
Still the same kid, but bigger and with more muscles, and a bit more discipline.

Grant Fan · Oct 14, 2009

Hey I'm Nancy I am a Navy girlfriend. I have been with my boyfriend since November 2006. He is stationed at NAF Atsugi (an hour-ish west of Tokyo). He left January 2nd 2008, and won't be re-stationed back state side til January-ish 2011. Last year we saw each other a total of 25 days this year we have seen each other 23days. He is and NFO. I feel your pain. But the way I see it, is that we serve along with them. And if you need support please feel free to send me a message any time. I am here when ever you need a friend. When Paul is on the island, we instant message every day sometimes twice a day. On the weekends we Skype all the time. Frequently we Skype in the mornings as I get ready for work. He likes to watch me get ready (I think that's strange) and I like to hear it voice, I cant even explain how relaxing it is to me. When he is on the boat, which frankly is the majority of the time we e-mail and we talk on the phone as frequently as possible which usually means once or twice a month. Also I have all his voice mails saved on my phone so I can hear his voice whenever I need it, and he leaves new ones using Skype. He will tell me not to answer my phone so he can leave them. It's funny. Also I send him cookies at least 2 times every cruise, and write at least one letter a week. But like a said if you need anything please message me I would love to talk any time.

C-dot · Oct 14, 2009

It's great to get a support frame going. Grant Fan, I think its sweet that your sailor likes to watch you get ready in the morning - It's the ordinary, everyday things they miss

Your story is very inspirational.

*martini*time*, best wishes to you, your soldier, and his friend overseas. I feel exactly as you do about being Canadian (as I'm sure our American friends do too!) I'm lucky that mine is stationed on home soil... I can't imagine how I'd feel if he were deployed, or living on a ship!

Keep the stories coming, girls.

Grant Fan · Oct 14, 2009

C-dot said:
It's great to get a support frame going. Grant Fan, I think its sweet that your sailor likes to watch you get ready in the morning - It's the ordinary, everyday things they miss Your story is very inspirational.

*martini*time*, best wishes to you, your soldier, and his friend overseas. I feel exactly as you do about being Canadian (as I'm sure our American friends do too!) I'm lucky that mine is stationed on home soil... I can't imagine how I'd feel if he were deployed, or living on a ship!

Keep the stories coming, girls.

Thanks.... It's funny you say that because recently I was asked how I do what I do and all I tell people is this, I have always admired the women who were my age in WW2. They were away from their men just as long as I am an longer most times, with much less communication than I get. I look at them and I know I can do this. That might be why I have clung so tightly to my vintage stuff since he left who knows. But thanks just remember we all have those who give us inspiration.

NicolettaRose · Oct 14, 2009

I have dated a Marine in the past, our relationship ended when he went to Iraq, we are still friends, he thank God came home OK.

I have to say, I am neither military nor wife, but the guy that I am dating looks pretty snazzy in a uniform!

<----------

SayCici · Oct 14, 2009

My husband is in the Air Force.

retrogirl1941 · Oct 14, 2009

My husband is Seabee in the Navy.

Samantha

Viola · Oct 14, 2009

My fiance was almost a military husband (I was in the Navy) when I wrecked my foot and got turfed out. It's really hard on both sides and all the civilian spouses here who have to hang in there while their honey is away have my support and respect. I think in some ways its harder because you aren't surrounded by people in the same situation the way the active-duty person is, who might be awful AWFUL lonely but isn't as "oh god what's going on RIGHT NOW" and isn't as alone.

Hugs to every one of you fine ladies.

*martini*time* · Oct 14, 2009

Grant Fan, you are one strong lady. I think skype was the best invention ever. I know it isn't as long, but my man was gone for 7 weeks this summer which is the longest i have ever been away from him. We didn't get skype until his last 3 weeks there, but it made those 3 weeks go by so fast. You're an inspiration to me. I'll PM you if i need to chat anytime.

Ps. you're beautiful.

RobynLe · Oct 14, 2009

Wow! Thanks for bumping this thread C-dot. I totally did not see it!

Anyway, I am the wife of an Air Force veteran. He just got out in November, 2004. He retired as a Colonel. Actually they forced him to retire because they said he had......ready for this? "excessive combat duty"

Well gee, he started in Vietnam in 1974 and has been in every major (and minor) conflict including Freedom Iraq in 2004 and they think he had excessive combat duty? I'd say it was excessive way before 2004!! lol
I'm just being sarcastic you guys, but that is the truth. It's silly and we have to laugh about it because besides being ridiculous, he really loved being in the military and didn't want to leave. He was the commander of the 21st PJ division of the AF Special Forces. If any of you gals with active duty guys ask them about the PJ's they'll probably tell you A) that they're crazy and B) that they are the craziest of all!! lol The PJ's stand for "Paramedic Jumpers" and they basically go and do rescues for any service member anywhere, land, sea, air, you name it! You could sort of compare them to Navy Seals, but my DH has rescued them as well. I can't believe the reactions we get at the VA hospital here when my husband says where he served. These guys' eyes get real wide and they're like, "You were a PJ, really!?" It's crazy! My DH would kill me if he knew I was telling you all this, but I can't help but be proud of him. As I am sure most of you ladies are proud of yours DH's and SO's. ANd we should be!!! What am I also trying to say is that, with my DH being a commander of hundreds of men and women, if any of you or your DH's need to talk or ask about anything, please let us know! He was known to his soldiers as being someone they could go to about anything under the sun and he would always help in any way he could. He's not your typical commander (or guy for that matter)

OK, I am going to shut up now.

And btw, THANK YOU to all of you and your soldiers! Our blessings are with you.

Foofoogal · Oct 14, 2009

thank you all for your sacrifices to our family and our country.

Grant Fan · Oct 15, 2009

*martini*time* said:
Grant Fan, you are one strong lady. I think skype was the best invention ever. I know it isn't as long, but my man was gone for 7 weeks this summer which is the longest i have ever been away from him. We didn't get skype until his last 3 weeks there, but it made those 3 weeks go by so fast. You're an inspiration to me. I'll PM you if i need to chat anytime.

Ps. you're beautiful.

Martini

Thanks and don't down play what you felt. I have theory. Missing someone is missing someone. Just because it wasn't nearly as long as Japan is for me and Paul I bet you missed your love as much as I miss Paul. You are right skype is a fabulous thing. And definitely feel free to shoot me a line. And thanks for the complement, You are a very lovely lady yourself.

C-dot · Oct 15, 2009

This thread warms my heart

The ladies in WWII sure did have a lot to contend with. Meeting my soldier, Kyle, was one of the things that brought out the true potential of my vintage love affair. I have only ever been away from him for 8 weeks (with a few hours of leave in between), and that was hard. I can only imagine what those women felt, holding down the home, and afraid each time the telephone rang. But Nancy is right - If they can do it, so can we

RobynLe, congrats to your Officer on his retirement!

I've had this poem for a while, I thought I'd share:

Grant Fan · Oct 15, 2009

C-dot said:
This thread warms my heart

The ladies in WWII sure did have a lot to contend with. Meeting my soldier, Kyle, was one of the things that brought out the true potential of my vintage love affair. I have only ever been away from him for 8 weeks (with a few hours of leave in between), and that was hard. I can only imagine what those women felt, holding down the home, and afraid each time the telephone rang. But Nancy is right - If they can do it, so can we

RobynLe, congrats to your Officer on his retirement!

I've had this poem for a while, I thought I'd share:

Very nice I am glad you posted that it was nice. I needed that today. Oh and a quote I try to always rembmer "Everyday we spend apart brings us one day closer to being together again." It helps.

*martini*time* · Oct 15, 2009

C-dot said:
This thread warms my heart

The ladies in WWII sure did have a lot to contend with. Meeting my soldier, Kyle, was one of the things that brought out the true potential of my vintage love affair. I have only ever been away from him for 8 weeks (with a few hours of leave in between), and that was hard. I can only imagine what those women felt, holding down the home, and afraid each time the telephone rang. But Nancy is right - If they can do it, so can we

RobynLe, congrats to your Officer on his retirement!

I've had this poem for a while, I thought I'd share:

Wow...that is the cutest poem ever. It brought a tear to my little eye. I'm always proud of my soldier.
I remember when I just turned 18, I didn't want to vote because to me, they're all crooks. Anyways, my dad took me to the voting station and told me, that my Grandpa fought in a war in order for me to have to right to vote. It really struck a cord. If it wasn't for soldiers, as ladies, we wouldn't know any of the freedoms we have now. Thats why, i can say, that even thoughi don't support the war, i support the troops, ALL THE TROOPS.
When I met my man, he just got home from his tour. We met in Vegas. I used to get horrible "tunnel vision" when i got a boyfriend, i would forget everyone else in my life because of him. Now, with Grant gone most of the time, i'm making sure to maintain the relationships i have with my girlfriends. Although some don't understand, they are pretty supportive most of the time. I'm glad this thread was bumped. Its cool how many of us are on here.

C-dot · Oct 15, 2009

It definitely is

Big thanks to scotrace for finding it for me!

Grant Fan, that is a lovely quote, it fills you with hope. I'm glad you liked the poem.

Martini, I agree wholeheartedly. The soldiers are not the cause of wars - They follow orders, without asking questions, to serve their countries and the citizens within. I'm always proud of my hero, and of everyone else's too.

RebeccaDoll · Oct 15, 2009

Hello, I'm in the Canadian Air Force - so I am the soldier in the family! I just finished a 2 month TD. I'm single, we were so busy and restricted that I recieved mail but couldn't return it, and it certainly helped with the few moments where I missed my parents - but I think the seperation was harder on them then me! Going home was tougher than leaving - I missed all my platoon - and luckily, facebook (that evil time-sucking site) keeps our platoon in contact.

I know the married people with us had a really tough time, worse, the ones with kids - we let them get the few phone calls we had access to, most of us were single and really didn't need to contact home very often, we took care of each other.

You ladies are doing the right thing, keeping in contact with your loved ones. I'm sure if I had a husband, I would have wanted him to do the same thing.

Grant Fan · Oct 15, 2009

*martini*time* said:
I used to get horrible "tunnel vision" when i got a boyfriend, i would forget everyone else in my life because of him. Now, with Grant gone most of the time, i'm making sure to maintain the relationships i have with my girlfriends. Although some don't understand, they are pretty supportive most of the time. I'm glad this thread was bumped. Its cool how many of us are on here.

You are a lucky girl I have lost so many friends since Paul left. A lot of them didn't/ dont understand what I am going through and had no simpaty for me or jsut didn't get it. Regardless I can't have friends who don't understand what I am going through and support me. So I have really found who are my real friends. It's true what they say about knowing your true freind when you hit a hard spot and see who is still around.

*martini*time* · Oct 15, 2009

Grant Fan said:
You are a lucky girl I have lost so many friends since Paul left. A lot of them didn't/ dont understand what I am going through and had no simpaty for me or jsut didn't get it. Regardless I can't have friends who don't understand what I am going through and support me. So I have really found who are my real friends. It's true what they say about knowing your true freind when you hit a hard spot and see who is still around.

I can say in all honesty, with NO SHAME, I only have 3 "real" friends. The other friends I had, just didn't get it. When Grant left this summer, I made plans to go out with some girlfriends, who are younger then i am, and ALL single. I was exhausted from waking up to take him to the airport, and crying the night before, that I just wasn't in the mood for going out. They just did NOT understand. Trying to equivilate my boyfriend being gone to "this one time when my ex was gone for a weekend..." just didn't help. I had one friend that sort of understood, she spent every summer away from her boyfriend for 3 years. But when it is just 2 months, every year, when i'm usually around 2-6 weeks every few months, it's a little different.

The girls i am good friends with and understand, are my best friend Shawna who's sister is actually in the military, my boyfriend's friend's girlfriend Brittany, and my sister. It's hard when girls don't understand how you can have good and bad days. I don't always get to go home to the arms of my boyfriend to tell him about my horrible day. (but soon i'll have 2 kitties to talk to)

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