Are you a Military wife?

SayCici · Oct 15, 2009

Aw, I'm glad you girls have found some truer friends! At first when I got married, my friends were pretty supportive but didn't know what it was like (to be married or to have their SO gone all the time) but I actually met a couple friends online who were not only my age, but their husbands were all AF too. It's refreshing to talk to someone who knows what's going on!

C-dot · Oct 15, 2009

SayCici said:
It's refreshing to talk to someone who knows what's going on!

Isn't it though? My situation is more fortunate, since Kyle's posted at home and I see him most every weekend. Outside of my family, I can say I have 2 real friends, one of whom is in a long distance relationship so she can relate.

Girls, be glad that your situations helped to weed out the fair-weather friends! I'd rather have one or two true friends than a bunch of superficial well-wishers.

Grant Fan · Oct 16, 2009

Most of my friends are in military relationships well now at least. A large amount of my friends are mine and Paul's mutual friends because well they are Navy or Marine so the get it. Also I come from a family that has always had someone serve in the Army since the American Revolution. All three of my big brothers served and I thought about it. So I have a greatly supportive family, who has helped me figure out what real friend really are.

Emer · Oct 16, 2009

Yep! Little Miss Emer here is married to a Marine and we live in SoCal now.

Dot - my grandmother is constantly amazed at the support and benefits we get from the military today versus when she was a service wife. Every time Jason and I tell her something about family events she just can't believe how far they've come.

Dutchess · Oct 27, 2009

1930's postcards send by military wife

I bought these postcards in Bruge and judging by the handwriting, they were al written by the same girl to her boyfriend/husband in the army.
Translation of the middle one:

My adored sweetheart,
I am already feeling very well, as I got up for the first time and my first thought is to go back to work as soon as possible. How are you my darling still healthy and everything. It has been freezing here for three days already and the snow keeps falling. I am thinking of nothing or nobody else than you alone. Of you I think days on end and I follow you everywhere in your movements in my mind, because that makes me happy.
Many intimate kisses on your adored little face by your little wife.

She does not mention the army here, but does so on the other cards.
Sweet, isn't it?

*martini*time* · Oct 27, 2009

Dutchess said:
I bought these postcards in Bruge and judging by the handwriting, they were al written by the same girl to her boyfriend/husband in the army.
Translation of the middle one:

My adored sweetheart,
I am already feeling very well, as I got up for the first time and my first thought is to go back to work as soon as possible. How are you my darling still healthy and everything. It has been freezing here for three days already and the snow keeps falling. I am thinking of nothing or nobody else than you alone. Of you I think days on end and I follow you everywhere in your movements in my mind, because that makes me happy.
Many intimate kisses on your adored little face by your little wife.

She does not mention the army here, but does so on the other cards.
Sweet, isn't it?

That is so sweet...maybe it's the fact that i have PMS or maybe it's the lack of sleep, but that little paragraph made a tear come to my eye.

C-dot · Oct 27, 2009

*martini*time* said:
That is so sweet...maybe it's the fact that i have PMS or maybe it's the lack of sleep, but that little paragraph made a tear come to my eye.

Maybe so, but I'm not PMS-ing and my eyes got misty too.

Many thanks, Dutchess.

Stupid Kyle signed up for weekend training on base, now I'll only get to see him every 2 weeks until March

So cancel the spooky Hallowe'en dinner I was going to make for us.
I feel kind of like I did at my prom, when he told me he was going to miss that, too. Luckily he escaped on a technicality - The unit wasn't required in Meaford until Saturday morning, so he drove himself up later that Friday night, instead of taking the bus from the armoury.

*martini*time* · Oct 27, 2009

C-dot said:
Maybe so, but I'm not PMS-ing and my eyes got misty too. Many thanks, Dutchess.

Stupid Kyle signed up for weekend training on base, now I'll only get to see him every 2 weeks until March So cancel the spooky Hallowe'en dinner I was going to make for us.
I feel kind of like I did at my prom, when he told me he was going to miss that, too. Luckily he escaped on a technicality - The unit wasn't required in Meaford until Saturday morning, so he drove himself up later that Friday night, instead of taking the bus from the armoury.

I hear ya on this...Don't worry though. There have been a total of 3 times when i have HATED the military for stuff like this. I try not to think that it's HIS fault. Because it isn't. If the training helps him further his career, then good for him. That's how i had to think about being away from Grant all summer. It will help him in the long run...and that's what's important. Grant has missed alot of stuff being gone...family reunions, camping trips and just special occasions. I know it's hard but keep your chin up, you don't want to have 2!

C-dot · Oct 27, 2009

*martini*time* said:
If the training helps him further his career, then good for him. That's how i had to think about being away from Grant all summer. It will help him in the long run...and that's what's important. Grant has missed alot of stuff being gone...family reunions, camping trips and just special occasions. I know it's hard but keep your chin up, you don't want to have 2!

You're right - It's very hard not to become resentful when it interferes with your relationship. The training will help promote him to MCpl, which he's been wanting a long time; Besides, the pay rise will help out a lot!

Chin is now up in the air. Now we won't have to use that pay rise for plastic surgery lol

Thanks.

*martini*time* · Oct 27, 2009

C-dot said:
You're right - It's very hard not to become resentful when it interferes with your relationship. The training will help promote him to MCpl, which he's been wanting a long time; Besides, the pay rise will help out a lot!

Chin is now up in the air. Now we won't have to use that pay rise for plastic surgery lol

Thanks.

Haha! Mcpl?! Awesome! Grant just got promoted in June...still waiting for the raise though...someone didn't file paperwork...sheesh.

fftopic: You doing rememberance day ceremonies?

RobynLe · Oct 27, 2009

C-dot said:
You're right - It's very hard not to become resentful when it interferes with your relationship. The training will help promote him to MCpl, which he's been wanting a long time; Besides, the pay rise will help out a lot!

Chin is now up in the air. Now we won't have to use that pay rise for plastic surgery lol

Thanks.

That was a great poem! I read it to Ricky (my hubby) and he really liked it too.

Talk about resentment! Ricky told me he was happy that we'd met just after he retired because every relationship he's had ended (mostly) because of the fact that he was gone all the time. He's been married a few times before us and all of his exes ended up cheating on him (and that's why they ended!) Although I am not the type to do that no matter HOW long he was gone, but of course, we met after!

Another thing, if your DH's and SO's end up making a career out of their service and they retire from the military, it takes about 9 mths to get your first pension/retirement checks after you leave the service, so just be prepared to have some income or savings for that period. That's what happened to Ricky and no one warned him.

And then the month after he got his very first check, hurricane Katrina hit us in New Orleans and even though Ricky filed for a change of address in TX, (3 times!!!!) they still sent his checks to his old address--which was literally gone and because they were all returned, they presumed him dead. Now four yrs later we are still fighting to get his pension started again!! He's had to prove who he was again like 2 different times and they also got his records mixed up with another guys!! Talk about frustration. There is no way of preparing for this kind of BS.

But hey, we are still a super patriotic family and he wouldn't change anything!! Gotta stay positive

And Duchess~ Those were beautiful postcards btw. They have some great stuff like that at the WWII Museum in New Orleans, kinda makes you appreciate things like Skype nowadays, huh?

C-dot · Oct 27, 2009

*martini*time* said:
fftopic: You doing rememberance day ceremonies?

Yep! There's a yearly one in Brampton where his regiment is. The battalion stands attention around a large war memorial in the town square, with the cadets behind them (They are cute!)
We also go back to our high school every year to help out with their ceremony. Kyle wears his combats and salutes during Last Post, and usually I'll read a speech or do tech support - The teachers and students love it

How about you?

RobynLe, that is tough! I hope his pension gets started up again soon - Talk about BS!! So much for supporting our veterans, eh?
He's lucky to have you, a faithful and patriotic wife

I'm sure you would have been even if you met him while he was active - Poor man. It's never too late for love, though. I have been lonely before, and once or twice found myself chatting with men who alleviated it. It's never progressed further, and it never will - I'd never run out on Kyle for some temporary fix. He needs my support, no matter how lonely I get!

*martini*time* · Oct 27, 2009

C-Dot There are a ton of ceremonies around here. I don't know where we're going yet...but it will be my first one (other then school ones) so i know it means alot to Grant that I go. Is it usually something you dress up for?

C-dot · Oct 27, 2009

*martini*time* said:
C-Dot There are a ton of ceremonies around here. I don't know where we're going yet...but it will be my first one (other then school ones) so i know it means alot to Grant that I go. Is it usually something you dress up for?

Yes, but somberly, if you know what I mean. A lot of people show up in sweatshirts and jeans, which is so disrespectful. The city counselors and (most) wives will be wearing dressy coats, and dark clothes. I usually wear a simple dress under my long black coat and high heeled boots.

Gotta stay warm!

My rule is, if the unit is wearing their DU's, then it's not casual.

*martini*time* · Oct 28, 2009

C-dot said:
Yes, but somberly, if you know what I mean. A lot of people show up in sweatshirts and jeans, which is so disrespectful. The city counselors and (most) wives will be wearing dressy coats, and dark clothes. I usually wear a simple dress under my long black coat and high heeled boots. Gotta stay warm!

My rule is, if the unit is wearing their DU's, then it's not casual.

Phew...I have a grey dress and a mid thigh pea coat...i don't have boots because of chunky calves, but i was going to wear my girdle and some stockings with some of my black shoes. I am going to be wearing red leather gloves though...

C-dot · Oct 28, 2009

*martini*time* said:
I am going to be wearing red leather gloves though...

Go for it! They'll match your poppy

RobynLe · Oct 28, 2009

C-dot said:
Yep! There's a yearly one in Brampton where his regiment is. The battalion stands attention around a large war memorial in the town square, with the cadets behind them (They are cute!)
We also go back to our high school every year to help out with their ceremony. Kyle wears his combats and salutes during Last Post, and usually I'll read a speech or do tech support - The teachers and students love it How about you?

RobynLe, that is tough! I hope his pension gets started up again soon - Talk about BS!! So much for supporting our veterans, eh?
He's lucky to have you, a faithful and patriotic wife I'm sure you would have been even if you met him while he was active - Poor man. It's never too late for love, though. I have been lonely before, and once or twice found myself chatting with men who alleviated it. It's never progressed further, and it never will - I'd never run out on Kyle for some temporary fix. He needs my support, no matter how lonely I get!

C-dot Thank you! You are a great woman. Ricky says he has the utmost respect for you, for supporting Kyle the way you do.

Supposedly, Ricky's records have been submitted to be signed off on (because they had to be de-coded, etc) by the main office in Wash D.C. (which they have 90 days to do) and then they get sent back to his JAG officer who then sends orders to the paymaster, who sends Ricky his back pay and first pension check, etc. This should all be happening within a few mth.s so I am expecting (hoping) that right after the new year we will see the end of it. Keeping my fingers crossed! It's funny, it seems like either people are completely supportive, or they just don't care about active members or veterans at all-- there's no in between. It is said all the time at the VA hospital (veteran's hosp) that once the guys (and girls) become veterans, they (the gov't) don't give a hoot about them anymore. Sometimes it feels that way. But on the other hand, there are a lot of organizations out there that do support and help the vets. So, what can you do? We just keep fighting and take one day at a time.

Oh, and I agree with you about the ceremonies-- I don't think it's a casual thing either!

*martini*time* · Oct 28, 2009

C-dot said:
Go for it! They'll match your poppy

That was my thought too! I also have a sweetheart pin that will be proudly over my heart for all the 1CER members overseas.

C-dot · Oct 29, 2009

Thank you Robyn! I have complete respect for Ricky too, for being such a hardworking soldier, and you for standing by him! What a crazy set of procedures. It's hard not to feel like the government doesn't care, but I guess its because they have so many veterans to take care of, it becomes impersonal. Not that it's any excuse - I am crossing my fingers for you too

Hey Martini, post a picture of your pin for us?

This thread makes me all mushy inside!

C-dot · Nov 5, 2009

On the news tonight, there was a story on a mass shooting at Fort Hood, Texas. Twelve people died, including one of the shooters, and another 31 are injured. Fort Hood is the largest US military base in the world.

I sincerely hope nobody's hubby or family was hurt, if they were stationed there. My heart goes out everyone affected by this tragedy.

Are you a Military wife?

Practically Family

Call Me a Cab

Practically Family

One of the Regulars

Familiar Face

A-List Customer

Call Me a Cab

A-List Customer

Call Me a Cab

A-List Customer

New in Town

Call Me a Cab

A-List Customer

Call Me a Cab

A-List Customer

Call Me a Cab

New in Town

A-List Customer

Call Me a Cab

Call Me a Cab

Similar threads

Log in

Forum statistics