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Clean Jokes

Discussion in 'The Observation Bar' started by jamespowers, Aug 4, 2004.

  1. Artifex

    Artifex Familiar Face

    Messages:
    58
    Location:
    Nottingham, GB
    Besides, the obvious pun, I think I see a secondary joke in the post above:

    That text uses about 38 characters, if you include spaces, punctuation and the new-line. Under a standard ASCII or UTF-8 encoding scheme, that means the file would take 38 bytes.

    Rendered as a full-colour image as above, that becomes;:
    700px ✕ 706px ✕ 3 colour channels (RGB) = 1,482,600 bytes.

    That would be almost forty thousand times more data to download, for no increase in meaningful content.

    However, to avoid such a waste of bandwidth, the image has then been through a computationally-intensive lossy compression algorithm (at 93% quality) to reduce the file size down to 'only' 41,458 bytes.

    (To be fair, I have been guilty of such absurdities on occasion, too. When else in history has a potential efficiency saving of a thousand times been considered too little to bother with?)
     
  2. Trenchfriend

    Trenchfriend I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
    6,845
    Location:
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    Box-spring beds are the SUVs among the bed-types!
     
  3. Bamaboots

    Bamaboots I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
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    Location:
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  4. GHT

    GHT I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
    5,613
    Location:
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    You need to get out more.
     
  5. Artifex

    Artifex Familiar Face

    Messages:
    58
    Location:
    Nottingham, GB
    Do you mean to imply that the operation of computers, and the efficiency thereof, holds no bearing on reality?

    - Sent from my IBM System/360 using a stack of punched cards
     
    robrinay and vitanola like this.
  6. Lean'n'mean

    Lean'n'mean Call Me a Cab

    Messages:
    2,874
    Location:
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    Press CTRL+ALT+DEL to find out.
     
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  7. drmaxtejeda

    drmaxtejeda I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
    4,587
    Location:
    Mexico City
    Not a joke, but worthwhile

    "Some regard private enterprise as if it were a predatory tiger to be shot. Others look upon it as a cow that they can milk. Only a handful see it for what it really is--the strong horse that pulls the whole cart."

    Winston Churchill



    Sent from my LG-H870 using Tapatalk
     
  8. Artifex

    Artifex Familiar Face

    Messages:
    58
    Location:
    Nottingham, GB
    A strong horse, certainly - but a poorly-trained one that kicks, shies, bites, bolts and tries to throw-off her harness at every opportunity.

    Meanwhile, the driver is busy blaming the passengers (and the other road users, and the timbers of the cart itself) for the fact that the horse is heading in the wrong direction!
     
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  9. GHT

    GHT I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
    5,613
    Location:
    New Forest
    That's a good way of putting it, methinks that you're as good at tongue in cheek as I am.
     
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  10. GHT

    GHT I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
    5,613
    Location:
    New Forest
    don't stop.jpg
     
  11. Trenchfriend

    Trenchfriend I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
    6,845
    Location:
    Germany
    I had to translate, but I think it works. Old one:

    Daddy is farting,
    the kids are shaking,
    so this is the way of cheap familiy fun-making... :D
     
  12. Bamaboots

    Bamaboots I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
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    Location:
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  13. GHT

    GHT I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
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    Location:
    New Forest
    Education is indeed important. The omission of a single comma could be enough to have you............
    "helping your uncle Jack, off his horse." Or, "helping your uncle jack off his horse."

    grammar fails1.jpg grammar fails2.jpg grammar fails3.jpg
     
  14. Bamaboots

    Bamaboots I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
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    Location:
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  15. GHT

    GHT I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
    5,613
    Location:
    New Forest
    Too much month at the end of his money.
    Not enough month at the end of his love life.
     
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  16. drmaxtejeda

    drmaxtejeda I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Mexico City
    /[​IMG]

    Sent from my LG-H870 using Tapatalk
     
  17. deadlyhandsome

    deadlyhandsome I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
    6,198
    Location:
    Central California
    Now that’s funny!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
     
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  18. drmaxtejeda

    drmaxtejeda I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
    4,587
    Location:
    Mexico City
    I doubt I will wait that long.

    Sent from my LG-H870 using Tapatalk
     
    deadlyhandsome and Zombie_61 like this.
  19. GHT

    GHT I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
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    Location:
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    Bamaboots likes this.

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