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Mixed feelings

Messages
640
Location
Hollywood, CA
Today I went to Forest Lawn Glendale to visit Leila's parents' graves. It was an experience in itself and I wanted to write it out, in the hopes that someone here will understand it. I'm pretty sure some of you guys will understand it, which is why I decided to share it in the first place.

I knew that they were buried next to each other in the Whispering Pines section. But, even though I had the plot number, I couldn't seem to find their graves at first. I kept walking around until I found a tree that looked different from all the rest. It had a white trunk. I walked along the line of stones beside that tree until I found them:

hyamsjohn.jpg


mcintyreleila.jpg


The hill that John & Leila are on is a little steep. I just stood there for a while with a lot of things going through my mind. The first thing I thought was: Leila stood here...at least twice. I know that may sound a little morbid or strange, and it was odd for me too, but I somehow felt connected to her in that brief moment. As I continued to look at John & Leila's stones, I managed to say: I'll get the book written, don't worry. I felt excited and very sad at the same time. I knew that I was visiting two of the people that I'm writing about...and that these two people are Leila's parents. But, more than that, I felt as though I was the only one who still cared about their life and career (and their daughter's). The spot they're in is very beautiful and it overlooks a good portion of the park. It's peaceful and quiet....but in some way it's lonely.

After a few more minutes, I left. I couldn't help thinking about the different photos of Leila and her parents that I have....and the first chapter that I've written. I felt an even stronger desire to get the book written, I was inspired...maybe by them, maybe they were around. I'm not sure. I also felt really melancholy when I left though. I don't know why. It might be because this visit solidified them to me. Up until now, they've always been names and photos....Leila's parents and old Broadway stars. Today, they were just John and Leila.
 

imoldfashioned

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,979
Location
USA
Thanks for posting those pictures and, more importantly, your feelings about your visit. I think you experienced just what memorials are meant to do--making someone who might be just a name seem more real with all the conflicting emotions that raises. It is amazing to think that the subject of your biography stood just where you did too--how could you not wonder what she thought when she was there? I'm glad the experience helped solidify your resolve for the long task of writing the book.
 

scotrace

Head Bartender
Staff member
Messages
14,376
Location
Small Town Ohio, USA
I'm so glad you shared this.

I think that is exactly what memorials are meant to do, as I'mOldFashioned said so well. On a tour of a local old cemetery last weekend, it was so amazing to hear the guide share the stories of the people interred there. Stones I had passed hundreds of times, became lives lived.

One thing: The spelling on the stone is Lelia?
 
Messages
640
Location
Hollywood, CA
scotrace said:
I'm so glad you shared this.

I think that is exactly what memorials are meant to do, as I'mOldFashioned said so well. On a tour of a local old cemetery last weekend, it was so amazing to hear the guide share the stories of the people interred there. Stones I had passed hundreds of times, became lives lived.

One thing: The spelling on the stone is Lelia?

Good eye sir :) Leila's mother's name is misspelled on her marker. It's spelled LELIA, it should be LEILA.
 

happyfilmluvguy

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,541
I had somewhat the same situation, more of a thought than a feeling. After my grandma's funeral I visited Groucho Marx's resting place since it was at the same cemetary. His ashes are inside of a mausoleum. I couldn't find any flowers (at least that didn't belong to anyone), and so just picked some leaves from a bush and put it in his cup. I had the thought he was watching me and probably made some smat remark like, "so do you give leaves to your honey on Valentines day too?" or "I remember my first marriage, my ex-wife threw a whole tree over her shoulder".

If I were them, I'd enjoy the visit too.
 

carter

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,921
Location
Corsicana, TX
Thanks for sharing this.

There's something very reverential about visiting a cemetary and reading those old tombstones and markers.

I once spent an entire day walking through two cemetaries in Upper Sandusky, OH looking for the final resting place of my Great Grandfather. I never found it but I'm still hoping to some day.
 

dhermann1

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,154
Location
Da Bronx, NY, USA
A Petition

This is a website promoting a petition to be sent to Warner Brothers, asking them to release some of her films to DVD:
http://www.leilahyams.com/
There are so many stars of yesteryear that deserve remembering, whose work exists, but is inaccessible, due to the studios lack of interest.
 

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