("Mutt'eh a' six," sighs Sally, up to her elbows in the diaper pail. "How's she fine'a time?" "Yehhhhhh mannnn," adds Leonora.)
The long-debated $8,000,000,000 tax bill is near enactment today, but Congressmen and tax experts agreed that the really tough tax problems have been left for the next tax bill, now under preparation by the Treasury. House acceptance of the Senate's 5 percent victory tax to be levied on the earnings of all earning more than $12 a week was forecast for today as Senate-House conferees prepared to adjust differences between differing versions of the bill. Chairman Robert L. Doughton (D-North Carolina) of the House Ways and Means Committee indicated that it is a matter of accepting the Senate tax proposal or finding the $3,650,000,000 that tax would raise elsewhere, likely in the form of a sales tax which neither house has approved.
Japan appears today to be preparing a pincer drive on Guadalcanal in an attempt to isolate and crush the U. S. garrison defending that strategic Solomon Islands base. Military officials piecing together information contained in communiques and dispatches from the southwest Pacific anticipate a three pronged move against American positions on the island -- two by land and one by sea. On land, these experts said, the steadily-reinforced Japanese are expected to approach from the south and northwest toward a base, formerly occupied by the Japanese, which incorporates a fine airfield on the northern side of the island.
In Stockholm, the newspaper Allehandra reported from Berlin today that German and Croatian troops have massacred "a large number" of women and children in the Bosnian sector of Yugoslavia, when they hurled themselves against Axis guns in a partisan attack.
Although city voter registration was off by 12 percent from that of 1938, the year of the last state election, leaders of New York's three major political parties today each asserted that the light registration will benefit each of their candidates. The last day of registration, on Saturday, brought the city total to 2,135,710. The Saturday total of 841,689 was the second-heaviest second-day registration in city history. Registration in Brooklyn, however, declined by 13 percent from its 1938 total. Political leaders in the Democratic, Republican, and American Labor parties all agreed that much of the decline can be attributed to the absence of many thousands of men now in the Armed Forces, and to the relocation of many persons who have left the city for war jobs elsewhere. Republican State Chairman Edwin F. Jaeckle predicted that party nominee Thomas E. Dewey will "about break even" in the city due to the absence of many Democratic voters, and will roll up a decisive victory upstate.
(Chester Gump says "now wait a minute, I didn't sign up for THIS.")
Dodger coach Freddie Fitzsimmons joined with other local dignitaries and a Navy drum and bugle corps in a parade to dedicate a new military honor roll in East Flatbush. Fitz spoke at the dedication of the roll listing 130 names of neighborhood men now in the service, and more than $3700 in war bonds and stamps were sold. Councilman Walter Hart, County Judge Martin Goldstein, and Representative Donald O'Toole also appeared at the rally, with Nat Levine serving as master of ceremonies.
("This, exclaimed the court, is absurd and fantastic." And considering what Magistrate Solomon has seen in his day, that's no exaggeration.)
Mayor Laguardia called on New Yorkers yesterday to forego meat tomorrow, in the first of a series of "meatless Tuesdays" intended to ease the present meat shortage. Speaking over WNYC in his weekly radio broadcast, the Mayor called the request "an official request" to the extent that the powers of his office allow him to make it so. The Mayor called on the managers of restaurants and hotels to comply with the request along with housewives in order to "set an example for the rest of the country" in order to help keep prices down and curb profiteering. Meatless Tuesdays were widely practiced during the First World War under a proclamation by President WIlson, and in declaring them in the city, the Mayor overruled a request by restaurant and cafe owners' groups to name the meatless day as Friday instead, on the ground that Friday is already a meatless day for many. The Mayor rejected that argument, declaring that such an approach makes it seem like the whole idea "isn't on the level." "Friday is a traditional fish day," he argued, "and to make Friday your official meatless day sort of smacks of the slicker, doesn't it? Now let's do things real here in New York City. We don't want to be hypocrites about this."
The pastor of the Flatbush Unitarian Church gave Mayor LaGuardia's crusade against tin-horn gamblers a rousing endorsement in a sermon yesterday -- and went on to condemn "tin horn clerics" who are challenging the drive. Reverend Karl M. Chworowsky proclaimed that "if tin-horn clerics were less concerned about criticizing Mayor LaGuardia's perfectly legitimate attempts at curbing commercialized gambling, the chances are that not only tin-horn gamblers but the exponents of 'gold plate' and similar forms of racketeering thru games of chance would have the fear of God put in their hearts." While acknowledging that the Mayor's "theatrical inclinations" may be open to valid criticism, Rev. Chworowsky stressed that it is his duty to enforce the laws -- "and that is what he is trying to do." The pastor went on to criticize churches that rely on "tin horn gambling" promotions of their own to fill their coffers.
Reader Frances Lipp writes in to urge Brooklyn to dig deep not just for the obvious sorts of scrap metal, but also the small trifles -- the bent thumbtack, the broken bobby pin, the empty lipstick, the wire from the milk bottle cap. "Perfection is no trifle," she declares, "but enough trifles can add up to a perfect victory."
(One way to solve the gas shortage.)
Twenty-one irate members of the Onondaga Democratic Club of the 2nd Assembly District were cleared of disorderly conduct charges in Brooklyn Weekend Court, after a patrolman raided a card game at their clubhouse. The complaint alleged that they were "making undue noise" as they played thru the night in the card room of their Avenue M headquarters. Spokesmen for the accused argued that they had merely gathered for a friendly game after a long day of voter registration, and insisted that there was no gambling going on, and that no neighbors were disturbed.
(Who the hell is T. W. Ingoldsby, and who told him he was a sportswriter -- WITH THE DENIAL RIGHT THERE IN AN ITTY LITTLE BOX ON THE SAME PAGE? Boy, with the baseball season over they're scrambling for content.)
Cardinal World Series star Whitey Kurowski gave 9000 fans a Dexter Park a thrill yesterday, going three for five to lead his All Star teammates to a 9-5 victory over the Bushwicks in the opening game of a Sunday doubleheader. Kurowski's three singles off Bill Sahlin and Bots Nekola paced the All Star hitting attack, as Yankee pitcher Hank Borowsky went the distance for the win. The Bushwicks rebounded in the second game to shut out the All Stars 4-0. Fans looking for a farewell appearance by Yankee shortstop Phil Rizzuto left disappointed, however, with Rizzuto denied permission from the Navy to appear in the games.
Those in the mood for early-morning clowning over breakfast would do well to tune in "Studio X" over WJZ every weekday. Ralph Dumke, formerly one of the "Sisters of the Skillet" teams with Budd Hulick, formerly of Stoopnagle and Budd, to chase the morning drowsies with zestful zaniness.
("Well, we'll fix that sour old biddy!")
("Actually, formalin would do a better job, but I suppose you wouldn't have any of that.")
("Oh. So you mean it isn't time to go eat yet?")
(HEY THAT'S THE STORE WHERE THE MAN HANDS OUT DOG COOKIES! AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE HERO DOG IS ON THE JOB!)