Want to buy or sell something? Check the classifieds
  • The Fedora Lounge is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

Not trying to be cute, but...

angeljenny

A-List Customer
Messages
339
Location
England
I get called cute, sweet or adorable - makes me feel like a puppy rather than a person! I do tend to be a bit giggly at times too.

I don't really get offended by it as there are far worse things to be called. Such as prim or quaint.
 

Flicka

One Too Many
Messages
1,165
Location
Sweden
I get told I'm 'smart' (which generally means I'm using overly complicated words), that I 'think like a man' (which most men seem to think is a compliment) and that I'm 'glamorous'. Drunk men give me offers but rarely compliments (at least not the kind I would care to repeat in polite company) and when I turn them down they tell me I'm not as hot as I think. I'm obviously never the least bit cute, despite being 5'2'' with a voice like a ten-year-old. :)
 

Edward

Bartender
Messages
24,736
Location
London, UK
I get called cute, sweet or adorable - makes me feel like a puppy rather than a person! I do tend to be a bit giggly at times too.

I don't really get offended by it as there are far worse things to be called. Such as prim or quaint.

I get "nice". "Nice". Which is a polite way of saying "you're not a bad person, but I'd rather shoot myself in the face than....". I'd give anything for even the vilest of insults for change from "nice".
 

Flicka

One Too Many
Messages
1,165
Location
Sweden
I get "nice". "Nice". Which is a polite way of saying "you're not a bad person, but I'd rather shoot myself in the face than....". I'd give anything for even the vilest of insults for change from "nice".

Reminds me of one of Terry Pratchett's characters who complains that everyone says 'She has a great personality, and great hair too' about her.
 

angeljenny

A-List Customer
Messages
339
Location
England
I get "nice". "Nice". Which is a polite way of saying "you're not a bad person, but I'd rather shoot myself in the face than....". I'd give anything for even the vilest of insults for change from "nice".

I get called nice too - I figure that in my case they mean dull!

No matter who I am with (friends / work / night out) I end up being seen as some sort of "good girl" - the type that carries a sewing kit but that isn't any fun at all. I don't suppose it helps that I am a bit of a mother hen or that I go to WI.

Just once I would love to do something that would really shock people!
 

R.G. White

One of the Regulars
Messages
162
Location
Wisconsin
I get cute all the time. Which is better than nothing, I guess....

I'm almost eighteen dammit, I don't want to be cute and adorable! What am I, a puppy? It's even worse when you're a guy.... I think. I don't really know, I don't have much experience at being a girl. So, I'm probably wrong.
 

RodeoRose

A-List Customer
Messages
415
Location
Vermont
Now that I'm Mature I get "Are You in the Theatre?"

I'm just 19, but if I had a nickel for every person who asked me if I act/am an actress, I'd... be able to afford a new pair of ReMixes. The other assumption tends to be that I'm an art major. I study art history, in fact, but I'm awfully tempted to reply that I am a neuroscience major just to throw off the stereotype lol.

Back on topic... I've found my peers tend to be the ones who call me cute, while more adults give me the beautiful/pretty/glamourous/etc. lines. Perhaps the adults are trying not to seem patronizing? I prefer cute to anything else, frankly; I don't want to be beautiful, haha!
 

kwitie

New in Town
Messages
22
Location
UK
I got that once. Drnuk middle aged couple of women in Vegas. "Oh ! Say something! We love your English accents!" I think I managed to be just civil enough to hiss "I'm Irish" before I walked on....

Try being Scottish on holiday in Portugal...."E nao ingles. Eu sou Escoses"

On a by point (for the occupants of Non North America) from experience,if you find yourself with a person with an "Generic" American type accent [ie not New York or Cal surfer speak) stick to assuming they are Canuck. Canadians will go with a spring in their step if you correctly "oot" them and Americans will not mind telling you that they are American! The Canuck will have every day to be confused with the American....

Now going back to the original point. "Cute" is virtually always made as a compliment. It tends to suggest a certain innocence and purity. Nothing necessarily to do with lack of desire.
What follows is slightly rude but no offence is meant. Please accept my apologies if offended.
To give an example Kylie Minogue is thought of as being cute Madonna not so.
Most men think they could teach Kylie a thing or two.
We know Madonna would teach us!
Most men would jump through hot coal to court Ms Minogue so cute can still be hot. Ladies take it as a compliment. It isn't like "nice" in a man....
 

Edward

Bartender
Messages
24,736
Location
London, UK
I've known many Americans at one time and another in history prefer to pass for Canadians. ;)

19 seconds in, this is what I get combined with the "nice" - it's basically what "nice" means:

[video=youtube;U8zeCgA1ESw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8zeCgA1ESw[/video]
 

Flicka

One Too Many
Messages
1,165
Location
Sweden
Try being Scottish on holiday in Portugal...."E nao ingles. Eu sou Escoses"

Try being Swedish and short and dark-haired... People simply don't believe you. A Spanish guy told: 'But your hair is not, you know, yellow.' Neither was Ingrid Bergman's or Greta Garbo's. We're not all blond, statuesque, pleasure-machines.

For some reason, several people have assumed I'm Irish. I think it must be my accent, but when I asked a Portuguese girl why she thought I was Irish, she said: 'Ah, but you have Irish eyes!' I have no idea what it means, but it sounds poetic. 'Irish Eyes' could easily be a song, couldn't it?
 

pineapplefruitcake

One of the Regulars
Messages
114
Location
Perth, WA
Unfortunately Perth is still basically a big Australian country town which means I rarely get commented on - just stared at. For some reason everyone seems to think it's more polite not to say anything - it's a bit like they're worried what I might do if provoked! At most people just say that I'm "...interesting" - but since I study zoology I'm pretty used to that response.
As for "cute" I used to get called that all the time by family etc. but now I'm taller than most of them so that's largely stopped :) haha
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
32,958
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
I've known many Americans at one time and another in history prefer to pass for Canadians. ;)

Last time I was in Canada, in 2004, it was very much in my best interests to do so. Americans were in a rather poor odor (or odour) north of the border just then.

Getting back to cute, there's a big difference between "cute" and "cutesy." Cute is sincere and a good thing. Cutesy is insincere and a very very bad thing.
 

ThePowderKeg

One of the Regulars
Messages
130
Location
New Hampshire, USA
I'm waiting for some of our Southern friends to chime in with the difference between cute, sweet, and nice. My first mother-in-law was raised in the south and her daughter settled in Georgia for a while, and they tried to explain the heirarchy to me.

As I recall, "cute" was the ultimate compliment and it encompassed both appearance and personality. Your best friend is cute. That house you're in love with is cute. Your new crush from the party is cute. "Sweet" is also a compliment, but not as good as cute. Your new neighbor might "seem like a really sweet girl" (who could get upgraded to cute later, once you know her better). "Nice" is the polite way of not talking trash, and may be followed with "but." "Nice" means you have no evidence to support that this person is sweet or cute, and may actually have seen them do something not at all nice, but you're above gossip. "I guess she's nice, but I don't really know her that well."

While people will comment that my shoes or dress are cute, I never get overall cute as a compliment. I'm 5'8" and way too interesting-looking to really be cute. I also lack that innocent look that seems to be a crucial piece in the cute equasion. I'm grateful for anything intended as a compliment, as long as it's not flat-out rude!
 

RodeoRose

A-List Customer
Messages
415
Location
Vermont
Yeah, like how in '30s pictures "cute" is bandied around as a sincere compliment, and seemed to say more about character than looks.

Like I said earlier, I think cute is a nice compliment, no matter your age. Also, I doubt many of the people complimenting us are really laboring over just what adjective to use, haha; "cute" is kind and fairly neutral, I don't think you can read into it that much.
 

kwitie

New in Town
Messages
22
Location
UK
Try being Swedish and short and dark-haired... People simply don't believe you. A Spanish guy told: 'But your hair is not, you know, yellow.' Neither was Ingrid Bergman's or Greta Garbo's. We're not all blond, statuesque, pleasure-machines.

For some reason, several people have assumed I'm Irish. I think it must be my accent, but when I asked a Portuguese girl why she thought I was Irish, she said: 'Ah, but you have Irish eyes!' I have no idea what it means, but it sounds poetic. 'Irish Eyes' could easily be a song, couldn't it?

Scottish but not ginger(dark haired like yourself). Apart from the beard..So I'm hearing you.
Also I don't have the stereotypical Scottish accent (Glaswegian)seen on TV so people in England have had me down as German, South African and because of slight sing-song of voice a Norwegian!
BTW - love the expression "blond, statuesque, pleasure machines...
 

Miss Sis

One Too Many
Messages
1,888
Location
Hampshire, England Via the Antipodes.
I don't use the word 'cute' to describe an adult, ever. Cute is for babies and furry animals! I would be much more likely to say I thought someone or something was sweet but still use it rarely. When I wish to compliment someone I will say 'You look amazing in that....', 'Stunning dress, the colour/shape suits you so well' or use lovely, beautiful, fabulous.

And I have to say that just getting a compliment now and then might be nice. I mostly get something like 'You're so thin/tall!' This is not a compliment, it just makes me feel defensive and I think 'Pardon? What are you trying to say???' [huh]
 

Miss Moonlight

A-List Customer
Messages
440
Location
San Diego
I've been lucky to have a mom who's the right kind of supportive and has never stunted my self-confidence. Which is good because I can do that just fine on my own... :p

I have been called cute often. I've got that small-of-stature, small framed, big eyes and roundish face thing going on. I used to look more round-faced than now. I admit, I hate to be called cute. To me, children are cute. Puppies are cute. I'm a grown woman. If you can't pay a compliment honestly, just don't pay it. You can tell someone they're pretty, stylish, interesting to look at, and even the ever-annoying intriguing, but do not flipping call me cute. So many options, please don't choose one that adds makes someone feel diminutive.

Especially when you're reaching out a hand to pinch my cheek, *that* gal almost got slapped, and I am normally not a person who would strike. But I had to hit her hand away three times, she was drunk, and I was not having it. She got offended. That wasn't cute either.
 

Forum statistics

Threads
107,023
Messages
3,026,605
Members
52,528
Latest member
Zonko
Top