I had a fight with my wife tonight....

[HoosierDaddy]

OK..the original non vintage joke in this thread gave some a chuckle...others a blank stare to total disgust....women can be tough...and evidentally should be. I get it..I get it..jeesh. It's been dissected down to the nittiest of gritties. A joke about insecurites that sparked a discussion revealing many more...but that's just my opinion. I may catch heat for that....but it sure stands out..to me. Perhaps there should be humor even in that...

 

[Edward]

"Biggest problem in the world today are all those uppity Swedish women. Never used to be like that. Back in the day, you never saw them except when they were naked in films. Now, they're all over the internet. This is what happens when you give blonde women fibre, and education and... What's wrong with being naked, anyway?"

I'm counting on you to share the prize money with me.

 

[Don Tomaso]

Some guys, I think, cannot laugh about themselves. That's the problem.

 

[Flat Foot Floey]

"Biggest problem in the world today are all those uppity Swedish women. Never used to be like that. Back in the day, you never saw them except when they were naked in films. Now, they're all over the internet. This is what happens when you give blonde women fibre, and education and... What's wrong with being naked, anyway?"

I'm counting on you to share the prize money with me.

It made me laugh. I tried to explain in the first post that it matter WHO is telling a joke and if she/he means it.

Woody Allen certainly published better jokes about Jews than Julius Streicher did.

 

[Gray Ghost]

Grumpy says.....

Casper :eeek:

Now that is funny!

 

[Gray Ghost]

The joke was funny. It shows how some men can worry about the tiniest of problems and some women can missinterpret the same problem and blow it out of proportions. That is not every couple, but I bet you a dollar that we have some on this thread that are the same way. Some may be in reverse of what the joke was. My father comes from the golden era and he could take the most unimportant problem and be just like the guy in the joke, distant. He would worry about it until he came up with a solution. My mother would not know why Dad was so distant. She stopped worrying about it and just knew that was how Dad was. Thanks for the joke, it was funny and I laughed. I have not had much to laugh about lately but this made my day.

 

[Don Tomaso]

Here is a similar one I found quite funny, too:

"The value of effective communication in a meaningful relationship.......

A guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of commitment that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: ... so that means it was... let's see ... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means ... lemme check the odometer ... whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: he's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a darn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90 day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumbags.

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic
fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a darn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Roger", Elaine says aloud.

"What?", says Roger, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have .. Oh God, I feel so..."(She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Roger. "I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Roger.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says.

"No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that ... It's that I ... I need some time", Elaine says.

(There is a 15 second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says.

(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

"Oh Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Roger.

"That way about time," says Elaine.

"Oh," says Roger. "Yes."

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Roger", she says.

"Thank you," says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering
every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, you've known Elaine longer than I have. Did she ever own a horse?"

 

[MisterCairo]

You know.... no one is going to get that unless they read the temp thread

I never did find out - can I be the sergeant at arms? PLEASE?!

 

[rue]

I never did find out - can I be the sergeant at arms? PLEASE?!

Of course

 

[Justin B]

Im dunno, I think I'd rather be a Sergeant WITH arms. Hard to salute otherwise.

 

[rue]

Im dunno, I think I'd rather be a Sergeant WITH arms. Hard to salute otherwise.

lol

 

[Undertow]

Can some body please opine on "how much better the world was back in the day before women and ethnics got uppity"? I'm that one square away from a full house in Fedora Lounge Bingo.....

lol

 

[Undertow]

Here is a similar one I found quite funny, too...

Haha, that was a nice one. lol

My blasted work computer won't let me read the original joke that's got everyone so twisted up. From the responses I've been reading, it sounds like we should all be at one anothers' throats. So I'm guessing it must have been a pretty funny joke!

 

[Romy Overdorp]

I think it is funny, and I am not offended by it. Because it's a joke. Jokes shouldn't be over analysed, unless it's racist or violent.

 

[ButteMT61]

OK..the original non vintage joke in this thread gave some a chuckle...others a blank stare to total disgust....women can be tough...and evidentally should be. I get it..I get it..jeesh. It's been dissected down to the nittiest of gritties. A joke about insecurites that sparked a discussion revealing many more...but that's just my opinion. I may catch heat for that....but it sure stands out..to me. Perhaps there should be humor even in that...

What exactly do you mean by "women"? lolNot girls or chics or broads or dames? Ain't they tough too?Any why pick on nits? They're sensitive too...

 

[sheeplady]

Everybody has times when they are distant and thinking of something else (or nothing). I think we've all been there when our partner tells us they aren't worried (but we can very much tell they are). We all have asked somebody if they are upset at what we did or at least wondered if it is something that we did. While I understand why some might feel that the joke is offensive because of the assignment of gender roles, I took it more as a comment on relationships than anything else.

If you'd laugh with the gender's reversed, you know your answer as to if it is the gender stereotypes you are laughing at.

 

[vitanola]

Everybody has times when they are distant and thinking of something else (or nothing). I think we've all been there when our partner tells us they aren't worried (but we can very much tell they are). We all have asked somebody if they are upset at what we did or at least wondered if it is something that we did. While I understand why some might feel that the joke is offensive because of the assignment of gender roles, I took it more as a comment on relationships than anything else.

If you'd laugh with the gender's reversed, you know your answer as to if it is the gender stereotypes you are laughing at.

Oh no. Never, except perhaps for the one with this punch line:

"Beige. That's it! I'll paint the ceiling beige."

 

[LizzieMaine]

Gee, it's sure a good thing we don't have stereotypes anymore.

 

[Flicka]

Gee, it's sure a good thing we don't have stereotypes anymore.

Dear Lord. What were they thinking? Why would anyone want to buy trousers made by idiots?

They should send out a company memo to the marketing department: "In the future, think before you act. Or get a smart person to do it for you - it's their job!"

 

[LizzieMaine]

Or have it say on the back of the tag WASH YOUR OWN DAMN CLOTHES YOU SHIFTLESS BEER-SWILLING JACKASS. That'd be funny.