Do you wear curlers in front of your Significant Other?

annet · Oct 15, 2010

Foofoogal said:
I sometimes wonder if you know just how rude and judgemental you sound. Are you suggesting that having an ex, having had a failed relationship, is a bad thing?
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I apologize if you took this personally. I am just saying I don't plan on it for myself. You can get as many divorces as you want to.

Bad thing? Only if the person getting the divorce thinks it is?

i don't think many people are in a relationship with plans to get a divorce, but when things get bad it's sometimes better to just end it instead of going on feeling miserable. my parents had a divorce, they both have a new partner and everyone turned out just fine. of course it's something that shouldn't be taken lightly, and should be seen as a final solution for if all else has failed. it's not a bad thing to have a failed relationship. i learned a lot from being with my first boyfriend, and it made things so much easier now. sometimes things start off well, but everything can change and maybe it turns out to be not so well. at this moment i really want to be with my current partner, but i can't predict what will happen. if he does the same things my father did i'd gladly kick him out, but so far it doesn't seem like anything like that will happen!

annet · Oct 15, 2010

Foofoogal said:
i guess we are just really open compared to you and your partner
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Honey actually shaves me at times and has painted my toenails. The topic was curlers. I don't want him to see me put on my makeup or use the restroom or have curlers in my hair. I like to watch him shave but also give him space in the bathroom.
I am a lingerieholic and especially vintage. I am not going to apologize for trying to keep my man. He is worth keeping. If he was not I would not put the effort up.

He is handy.

then i guess we just see things differently

i find my hairy legs and pits a lot more intimate than the curls in my hair or the makeup on my face... but that's a personal opinion!

Ada Vice · Oct 15, 2010

Foofoogal said:
http://tinyurl.com/2fvd2km
Primping vintage style.

I don't plan on having an ex thank you very much.

The rewards far outweigh the effort. Guess I am one of those princesses. Over the years I have seen many a woman tell another woman not to put up with something from some man and then when the 2nd woman doesn't the other 1st. woman swoops in and takes that bad man off of their hands. No kidding either.

This is the reality. Like it or not. Nothing new under the sun.

Well no-one plans to do they? But you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince as they say!

(in all of my long term relationships it's been MY choice to end them so I guess I'm empowered enough not to worry about it *shrug* )

I don't understand how your second paragraph really relates to what I said or the thread, but I will say I don't want anyone's sloppy seconds and women that 'steal' men off each other aren't doing a whole lot of good for the sisterhood. Maybe that's your experience and I'm sorry if it's happened to you, but if all it takes if for someone to 'swoop' on anyone, you could say they were willing to be 'swooped' upon?

Nah it may be your reality, if someone chooses not to be with me and all I've been is myself than there's not much I can do about that. I like vintage clothing. music and style, I don't like the sexist attitudes and 'keeping your man' BS that is quite frankly outdated now. If you love something set it free...

Women have come a long way since then and I feel sad that some women still want to pander to old fashioned gender stereotypes as it doesn't help the struggle, but it's ultimately up to the individual. Whatever works for you is just that, it's not for me to attack or tell you how to live your life.

MissHannah · Oct 15, 2010

Ultimately I want my partner to love me for who I really am, not some veiled illusion of effortless perfection I present to him. And guess what? He does! I don't really see how emotional intimacy can be achieved without a big dose of honest reality.

Ada Vice - I'm with you on the question of the sisterhood (and the rest!). It sounds like some people on this thread only see other women as potential threats or 'husband-stealers' rather than as potential friends or allies.

annet · Oct 15, 2010

MissHannah said:
Ada Vice - I'm with you on the question of the sisterhood (and the rest!). It sounds like some people on this thread only see other women as potential threats or 'husband-stealers' rather than as potential friends or allies.

indeed! my female friends wouldn't even try that... and if some other woman did, well, it comes from both sides, right? if he goes along with it i don't think i would even want him anymore..

Miss Neecerie · Oct 15, 2010

MissHannah said:
Ada Vice - I'm with you on the question of the sisterhood (and the rest!). It sounds like some people on this thread only see other women as potential threats or 'husband-stealers' rather than as potential friends or allies.

Actually I think its more a case of beleiving what one sees in the media and assuming that 'those young folks' are all doing what is portrayed on tv.

Foofoogal · Oct 15, 2010

They say ignorance is bliss, but it really just means you failed to learn.
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Lets just say I have learned.

My motto is walk softly and carry a big stick.

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It sounds like some people on this thread only see other women as potential threats or 'husband-stealers' rather than as potential friends or allies.
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Women have come a long way since then and I feel sad that some women still want to pander to old fashioned gender stereotypes as it doesn't help the struggle, but it's ultimately up to the individual.
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I would propose to say that if anything with the economy and more it is even now more of a threat.
Nice to think sisterhood and such but if one does have children (especially small children like I stated handing the guy to the other women on a silver platter because one wants to dress like a slob is not exactly common sense. )
I am not saying at all that if the guy so desires to stray as he is a cad he should. Good riddance.

I guess it depends on if you have something worth fighting for. I have cut quite a few off at the pass so to speak and would do it again.
Good looking, successful, nice family man.

Some men ain't worth putting any effort in keeping and some are. Same with women. Nothing new under the sun.
I think there have been a few guys that caused honey to check himself also.

Smuterella · Oct 15, 2010

Foofoogal said:
Honey actually shaves me at times

This sounds very intimate. ;-)

Foofoogal · Oct 15, 2010

My mama used to say "I've got hidden charms."

sure need to have some icons here.

Smuterella · Oct 15, 2010

I am, officially, slightly shocked. hahahaha! Now we know the real secret to your happy marriage!

crwritt · Oct 15, 2010

Foofoogal said:
My mama used to say "I've got hidden charms."
sure need to have some icons here.

like this?

KittyT · Oct 15, 2010

I think one should. I think it's important for fellas to understand everything we go through in order to look nice for them (and ourselves, of course!)

Tatum · Oct 16, 2010

My hubby has seen me in rollers and curls time and again. There is almost no way to avoid it with our bizarre schedules. At this point, if he knows we are going somewhere and I didn't curl the night before, he asks if I have time to do my hair

40'sfetish · Oct 16, 2010

Foofoogal said:
I would propose to say that if anything with the economy and more it is even now more of a threat.
Nice to think sisterhood and such but if one does have children (especially small children like I stated handing the guy to the other women on a silver platter because one wants to dress like a slob is not exactly common sense. )
I am not saying at all that if the guy so desires to stray as he is a cad he should. Good riddance.

I guess it depends on if you have something worth fighting for. I have cut quite a few off at the pass so to speak and would do it again.
Good looking, successful, nice family man.

I'm a bit confused now....I thought the subject here was not so much about walking around like a slob, but putting a veil over the effort that goes into walking around looking fabulous! There is a big difference between a woman who no longer cares about her appearance to the one that hides the curler look from her husband. I'm still trying to figure out the logistics in that one anyway.....we live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, if I put my hair in curls to set overnight how do I hide that? Go to bed early and sleep in the spare room? If I gave hubby a choice between a snuggle and seeing me in curlers I know what he'd choose....

The other point I would like to make is people (men and women both) make their own decisions on whether to stay in relationships or not and for many many reasons more often far more serious ones than how your partner looks while getting ready in the morning or late at night. If someone is going to leave a relationship they will, I refuse to worry myself with maybe's like that. It would drive me mad thinking that my mate "might" be susceptible to the lures of a "loose woman". Either I trust him, or I go insane. Lucky for me I trust him...hehehehe...I'm more likely to point out some sexy chick walking down the street to him...

YesterdayGirl · Oct 16, 2010

My boyfriend sees me in my curlers, without make up and looking darn right awful at times, but does that make me a slob? No! In fact its at these times when he often surprises me the most and tells me that I look beautiful. If he loves you, he will find you attractive with or without curlers. It must be awful to be with a man who you are worried might leave you for another woman if he sees you in your curlers! My man would have disappeared years ago if that was the case!!

Dexter'sDame · Oct 16, 2010

Gee this thread has taken an odd turn. It seems to have gone from answering a simple question about a personal preference to reeking of judgments of others and commenting on the stability of people's relationships and the motivations of the person wearing or not wearing the curlers...

Suddenly, whether or not to wear curlers or do ones' makeup in front of one's significant other implies the level of honesty between the two? Or the closeness of the relationship? Or determines whether or not the fella will cheat? Or whether or not one is a feminist/modern woman?

Perhaps I opened the can of worms by using the word "mystery". To some, the word "mystery" implies fun and surprise, or eager anticipation of the unknown. To others, the word "mystery" implies something fearful and dark and dishonest, or dread of something scary. Still others see it as something sensual. How one interprets the word depends on one's experience...maybe "IMHO" should be replaced with "IMOHE" for "In my own humble experience".

Therefore, to restate my original reply, minus the loaded word: I don't like how I look in curlers; no one needs to be subjected to that, not even my own self in the mirror. More importantly, curlers deter the fella from absentmindedly playing with my hair while we're hanging out. When he's around, I blowdry the curlered set (vintage correct; there's a famous pic of Marilyn using a blowdryer). As for makeup, of course he's seen me in various states during the course of our unconventional relationship, including a few of bouts of flu in which he's gallantly held my hair at least once. I do not fear he will leave if he sees me at my worst. However...sitting at the vanity table is my playtime, and it's where I center myself. It's also where I decide how I want to express myself on a given day. So no audience, please.

For that matter, I'm not fond of open concept kitchens, either: IMOHE, it's more fun to present the finished dish.

Foofoogal · Oct 16, 2010

ah, to be so young. This thread did get off track.

BoPeep · Oct 16, 2010

Dexter'sDame said:
However...sitting at the vanity table is my playtime, and it's where I center myself. It's also where I decide how I want to express myself on a given day. So no audience, please.

I can relate to this. My husband has seen me in rollers and pin curls for years. This has no bearing whatsoever on our relationship. But there are times when I'm primping and prefer he wait until I'm done. When you've been married for a while, it's fun to keep some of the mystery alive. In this case, I'm using "mystery" in the fun and surprising sense of the word. He has admitted that while he likes the finished product, guys don't always care about the nitty-gritty details of the process.

Puzzicato · Oct 16, 2010

I don't wear curlers to bed, but if my husband were in a position to compare what I do to get ready with what another woman does to get ready then I have already lost the "battle".

Puzzicato · Oct 16, 2010

Foofoogal said:
ah, to be so young. This thread did get off track.

Ah to be so patronising.

Do you wear curlers in front of your Significant Other?

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