Clean Jokes

[Bamaboots]

 

[Tiki Tom]

Ex-wife: “And you wonder why I got custody. “

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-...n-affleck-son-lamborghini-crash-b2110156.html

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

1620 might possibly not have been the best year in history…

 

[BobHufford]

 

[Bamaboots]

 

[Hurricane Jack]

View attachment 435610

LOL…a little of my Frappuccino just squirted out my nose.

 

[Turnip]

 

[Frunobulax]

A woman wakes up in the middle of the night to find her husbsnd is not in bed. She arises and goes downstairs, to find him sitting in the kitchen, drinking a hot cup of coffee, and staring wistfully out the window.

A tear rolls down his cheek...

"What's the matter, dear?" the wife says.

"I was just sitting here thinking, it's been 20 years since the day we met."

She's incredibally touched he remembered, and sits next to him, putting a hand on his arm.

"Do you remember the night we met, I was 19 and you were only 16?"

"Yes dear," she says.

"Do you remember your father catching us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, dear," she says, a hint of a smile coming to her lips.

"Do you remember when he put his shotgun in my face and told me either I was going to marry you or go to jail for 20 years?"

"Yes, dear."

He took another sip of coffee and resumed staring out the window, "I'd be getting out today."

 

[Turnip]

For twenty years my wife and i were the happiest people in the world.

Then we met in Offenbach.

 

[Frunobulax]

My wife asked me if I had seen the dog bowl.

I told her I didn't realize she knew how!

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Trenchfriend]

When you puke alphabet soup, is that "broken German", then?

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Frunobulax]

A woman has two twin sons, Amal and Juan, but only carries a picture of Juan.

Because if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!

 

[Turnip]

 

[GHT]

 

[BobHufford]