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Do You Ever Get Tired of Compliments?

Paisley

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,439
Location
Indianapolis
Everyone is supposed to like a compliment, but do you think there is a limit? A single compliment now and then, based on something you appreciate, is nice. But it's possible to go overboard with effusive attention.

It comes across to me as unwanted attention. It's in the same category as clerks I don't know calling me by my first name, my mother calling three times in one day, or flirtation from men I've tried to brush off.

Does anyone else feel this way?
 

Viola

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,469
Location
NSW, AUS
It depends on what you mean by a compliment. Some are awkward at the best of times, no matter how well they're supposedly meant. But that's more in the line of "Hey baby..." not being the greatest way to open a conversation with a person you've never met before. Particularly, on, say, the subway.

-Viola
 

Jack Scorpion

One Too Many
Messages
1,097
Location
Hollywoodland
Often times, compliments make me too self-conscious.

Example: I have these spectator shoes. Brown/white, still a little bright, and I very rarely have the guts to wear them. When I do wear them, I get at least a compliment an hour. I like your shoes. Nice shoes. Or a comment like, are those wingtips? or something of the like. This makes me really aware that I am wearing shoes that are unusual and stand out and that makes me uncomfortable.

It was/is the same thing with fedoras, but I've gotten over that. Hah. Nothing else about me warrants compliment, though, so I guess I am lucky.
 

Paisley

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,439
Location
Indianapolis
I didn't mean to sound like I get so many compliments that I get bored with them. It's more the way some of them are delivered, or what someone is commenting on. Today, someone effusively complimented my black, white and burgundy jacket, saying that was the best combination for burgundy. My jacket is actually cream, navy and red.

Or some comments I got several years ago when I was going through a hard time: "Have you lost weight? You look GREAT!" (Gee, did I look that bad before?)

On the flip side of that: "You look terrible! Are you sick?" "Uh, no, I feel fine. But thanks anyway. :mad: "
 

Tomasso

Incurably Addicted
Messages
13,719
Location
USA
Paisley said:
But it's possible to go overboard with effusive attention. It comes across to me as unwanted attention.

Does anyone else feel this way?
Yes, I don't mind it so much when it comes from family or close freinds but it's a little off putting when coming from acquaintances or strangers.
 

Zig2k143

Practically Family
Messages
507
Location
Drums, Pa
Sometimes I wonder if the compliments I get are from people that really think I look silly. But I try not to think about that too much. :)
 

TheKitschGoth

A-List Customer
Messages
407
Location
Brighton, UK
Jack Scorpion said:
Often times, compliments make me too self-conscious.

Example: I have these spectator shoes. Brown/white, still a little bright, and I very rarely have the guts to wear them. When I do wear them, I get at least a compliment an hour. I like your shoes. Nice shoes. Or a comment like, are those wingtips? or something of the like. This makes me really aware that I am wearing shoes that are unusual and stand out and that makes me uncomfortable.

It was/is the same thing with fedoras, but I've gotten over that. Hah. Nothing else about me warrants compliment, though, so I guess I am lucky.

For me, I have no problem with peoples compliments on my clothes etc. (Let's face it, my style has always been a little on the eccentric/extravagant side) I never ever know how to react to compliments about me rather than my accesories though. I just feel really uncomfortable.
 

Zig2k143

Practically Family
Messages
507
Location
Drums, Pa
TheKitschGoth said:
For me, I have no problem with peoples compliments on my clothes etc. (Let's face it, my style has always been a little on the eccentric/extravagant side) I never ever know how to react to compliments about me rather than my accesories though. I just feel really uncomfortable.

Mental note...

Compliement TheKitschGoth's Dress not her eyes....
 

Amy Jeanne

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,852
Location
Colorado
Unfortunately I don't have that problem, but I can't imagine it would bother me too much. I grew up in a family that constantly put me down. Not only that, but the Higher Ups somehow decided that a redneck speck-on-the-map town would be a fine place to put a fashionable dame like myself ;) So I've heard way too much negative. More compliments would be nice for me, even from random strangers.
 

Viola

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,469
Location
NSW, AUS
Amy Jeanne said:
I grew up in a family that constantly put me down.

We always kidded/picked on each other but my brother and sister were both FIRMLY of the belief that only they were allowed to put me down and anybody else who tried it was asking for trouble. lol

-Viola
 

Paisley

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,439
Location
Indianapolis
Amy Jeanne said:
Unfortunately I don't have that problem, but I can't imagine it would bother me too much. I grew up in a family that constantly put me down. Not only that, but the Higher Ups somehow decided that a redneck speck-on-the-map town would be a fine place to put a fashionable dame like myself ;) So I've heard way too much negative. More compliments would be nice for me, even from random strangers.

A misunderstood child has a charm that a doting mother cannot give her.
 

Spitfire

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,078
Location
Copenhagen, Denmark.
Never! If they are real and sincere.

What I do get tired of is people saying: "Have a nice day" like robots. I mean, I have just been into this shop asking for a certain shirt...they dont have it and they dont even care to check wether they are going to get it..."have a nice day!" ??????

I have even heard the expression "How are you guys doing?" from a waiter in a restaurant, but she was so bussy, that it did not seem like she cared how we were doing....so why ask?

But real compliments? Bring them on.:D
 

Dr Doran

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,853
Location
Los Angeles
Where I live, many women think it is SEXIST, backwards, and monstrous to comment on a woman's appearance. Result: a grotesquely asexual society and seeks to eliminate gender difference: possibly worse, which denigrates and rejects visual pleasure altogether; and perhaps even worse than that, one in which there can be no carefree banter between the sexes, but all must grimly watch their words lest some oversensitive person be offended.

Perhaps I am conflating your attitude with theirs unfairly. Yours does not seem overtly political. If so, I'm sorry; but even aside from the aesthetic and ideological stance of the radicals in my area, isn't complaining about compliments a bit like looking a gift horse in the mouth? Or refusing the horse altogether? No offense, but unless these are really, really annoying compliments, I would say that one is being rather ungracious to find them annoying. Some people don't receive any.

Some people are deformed or, much much more often, simply ugly plus have no sense of style. They would love to get a compliment; the only one they will get will be on their posture or their stenography or something.
There but for the grace of the higher ones go I, and you.
I'm sorry if that sounded jerky ... I guess I feel strongly about beauty and aesthetics and visual pleasure and about the importance of the right to flirt (tastefully) and banter (gently) with a wide variety of people.
 

Viola

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,469
Location
NSW, AUS
Spitfire said:
I have even heard the expression "How are you guys doing?" from a waiter in a restaurant, but she was so bussy, that it did not seem like she cared how we were doing....so why ask?

"howyadoin'?" = hello. Usually it doesn't involve actually telling somebody how you're doing. :)

-Viola
 

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