Homeschool! (and other "vintage" values)

[Roving_Bohemian]

While cruising another thread I got into a discussion about Home-schooling, and decided it was time to have a place on TFL where people can come to discuss resources, challenges they face, get ideas for special projects, or even just "ask an 'expert' " if they're interested in homeschooling but want more info...

"Despite" both of us having been home-schooled (preschool-12th), my wife and I plan to home-school our own kids! Due to working with an ISO (Int'l Service Organization) we travel a lot, and realize that that is one of the major benefits of home-school: you don't have to do school every day as long as the work gets done.


Feel free to post on any (inside of home-schooling) topic, as long as we all stay courteous and don't bash others who may have different views. In other words, discussion is welcome, debate is not! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, just don't make this a "crusade" thread to try to make everyone make your opinions theirs.

To kick it off:

What are a few values you feel have been lost over the years that you hope to teach your kids by home-schooling, rather than going the "traditional" route?

 

[Miss Sabrina Fairchild]

YAY!

We have been homeschooling our daughters for almost two years now. They are 12, 10 and 8yo twins. It was never the path we thought we would take - my husband was a stay at home dad and I was a work-a-holic. I ran my own business and was president of a charity that I co-founded so even on the odd days I was home, I was at the computer or the phone the whole time. The nature of the charity (professional photographers who would attend hospitals/homes for families who had a stillbirth or a child with a critical or terminal illness) meant sometimes I was even leaving the house at 2am and coming back at 6am. Our girls all seemed happy and well adjusted and loved school - even our daughter with Aspergers (an autism spectrum disorder) seemed happy. When our twins started school my husband was desperate to get back to work so he started 9-5 and I closed my studio, cut down my hours and went back to working at home so I could do the school runs.

Around 3 months in my eldest was having major anxiety issues. She was now in grade 5 and while part of the "popular group" she wasn't the ring leader and refused to bully other kids and in turn was being picked on by the group. Then I noticed her breakfast was barely touched. Then her lunch box was coming home still full. She stopped eating almost entirely. She is already a tiny, delicate little girl and the weight just fell off her. She stopped sleeping and she was seeing the school counsellor and a psychologist and she was still strung out. On top of that when she gets ear infections (up to 4 times a year) she can go deaf - she was almost deaf for around 3 months and just never caught up with the work again. At the same time our twins were not coping so well - at the schools insistance we had seperated them (they can't even bare to be apart for an hour) and they were without their main support. On top of that their social emotional development meant they were more like preschoolers but academically they were 3-4 years ahead of their peers. Not my doing - their sisters used to play "school" and it all stuck LOL. I discovered they had spent all day, everyday colouring in. The teachers only solution was to give us homework for them. Around that time I also realised what I had been missing my middle child had been saying "school is so easy" but what she meant was "school is so boring". So here I was with a child who was so strung out that she couldn't eat or sleep, a gifted child who was bored and twins who had a ridiculous gap between social maturity and accademic achievements....after much research, talks until 5am and a huge leap of faith we decided to homeschool.

Two years on things are so different. I have given up all work to be at home with them - and I love it. They are happy, ridiculously healthy and able to work at their own level (the twins would be in grade 2 - working at about a grade 3 english level and a grade 5 maths level and around early highschool science for example). We get up whenever we wake up and do school after breakfast for a few hours just 4 days a week (take away bells, assemblys, settling 30 kids and add in one on one teaching and you have an extremely efficient way of doing things). Melbourne has a ridiculously amazing homeschooling community. We have park day every second wednesday, we have excursions almost every week (a home ed parent picks something like the museum and books the school program then emails out to see who can come to get the numbers), homeschool camp each year (though there are about 10 different home ed camps every year in Victoria alone) and playdates. Because they don't have to spend 6.5 hours at school each day they have many extra curricular activities - They all do taekwondo (so many home ed families are in our area that the local martial arts place now has home ed classes through the day) and swimming once a week. Our twins do soccer as well as our 10yo. Our 10yo also takes after school art classes and our 12yo does netball and ballet. It seems like so much but when your days are so relaxing it isn't a huge deal.

Now onto those traditional values....

We are a "large" family compared to most people the girls went to school with. When you have a large family everyone needs to pitch in. The girls all have chores and they don't get paid for them. They have respect for us as parents - we rarely raise our voice and we have never smacked them, by being firm, setting boundaries and giving them consequences (without being angry/upset/emotional) they have come to respect us as parents. So many people we know are so desperate to be the kids best friends that they can't discipline them at all and they do everything for them - walk past any school at pickup time and see how many parents are carrying their kids bags for instance.

They have learnt a lot more about home economics by being home - if we had sons they would be doing the same as we don't go that far into "traditional values" - they make their own breakfasts (ceral or toast) and their own lunches (sandwhiches, microwave soup - that sort of thing). If I go to the bank they come too. If I go to the shops they come too. They help write shopping lists and see how dinner doesn't just whip itself up - they know it takes planning. They have also learnt to knit, to sew (our eldest has made herself a few dresses with no supervision), to take care of their own personal hygine, to make their bed ect. My brother (who is 18) needed step by step instructions on how to boil water in a pot (he wanted to know what pot, cold or hot water, how much to put in, which burner to use, how hot the flame should be and the real killer - "how do you know when it is boiling?"), My 12yo regularly puts crumbed fish and wedges in the oven for herself and her sisters for lunch...and even takes it out safely.

Our main goal with homeschooling is to have them be as self sufficient as possible. I won't just answer things when they ask - we have invested a huge amount of money into books so we have our own mini reference library so they find answers in the books or the internet. If they can't spell a word that's what the dictionary is for. They are expected to hold their own and work to the highest standard they can. Everything at school seemed dumbed down and if you were average that was what they expected. I want my daughters to show pride in their work (and they do).

Then there are things like swearing...our girls probably would have started by now if they were in school. But we just don't. I used to swear like a sailor and just to show a good example I don't and I will not allow swearing at all in our house, and even more importantly in public. We also are considered
super strict" by other (non home ed) parents because we don't allow our girls to dress like hookers. No midrifs showing, no tights as pants, no super short skirts. We also pre-read almost everything they read and they aren't allowed to watch movies that we think are not appropriate. We also have no more than 30 minutes electronics time a day (with the exception of educational research) and encourage them to be kids and go outside to play.

Homeschooled kids spend more time in their community (which is something that is just not happening much any more). Our girls know the green grocers, the butchers, the deli staff, the news agents and the ladies at the post office and bank. They are the first to tell me what is happening in our little suburb. They actively seek out other neighbourhood kids to play, but they also can talk to a 65 year old about anything. Our girls are known through our suburb for being polite, respectful and being able to hold a conversation with anyone of any age.

Can you tell I just love homeschooling? I will say - given that we have both schooled and homeschooled that it isn't for everyone. I in no way judge those that send their kids to school. We were quite happy with our kids at school until the day we weren't any more. I also love to hear from grown up's who have homeschooled as their perspective is sooooooooooo helpful. For those that may be interested too there is what seems to be the first long term study of homeschool "graduates" that was recently completed in Canada that shows homeschoolers are just as likely (and in most cases are more likely) to succeed in later life - http://www.hslda.ca/assets/pdf/2009-study.pdf

anyone else homeschool or has been homeschooled?

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

I wish that homeschooling had been around when I was a kid. While I wasn't really bullied or picked on per se, some of Project:girl's characterization of her daughters' school experiences roughly echo mine -- particularly the excruciating boredom from enduring hours of absolutely uninspired teaching -- which my grades often reflected. While some of the teachers I had were very good, unfortunately they were often cancelled out by the unimaginative curriculum.

While at a young age I could understand and appreciate so called "grown-up stuff" the hardest part in those years was, at the same time, still having to "play" at being a kid, at least that's what it felt like to me. A role, I might add, that I didn't think I was very well-suited for! It certainly would have been a relief to have had more peers at the same level that I could relate to back then. In that respect I think I would have greatly benefited from homeschooling where such peers are more in the mainstream.

 

[Touchofevil]

Unfortunately, too many use homeschool as an alternative to getting up early in the morning. Too many are not qualified to adequately educate their own children. And unfortunately, too often those families are not monitored as they should be. In addition, there are problems with accredited courses for those planning on attending a university right out of high school. There is also the issue of socialization with the real world.
Despite all of this, if and when done correctly, it is a potentially wonderful program. Being able to tailor a program to a child's specific strengths and weakness is an enormous asset not possible in public education where one must meet the needs of all. I could go on and on, but I have already taken up more than enough space.

 

[1961MJS]

Hi

In my experience as a 4H leader and Boy Scout Leader, I've been around a few home schooled types. I've had one who was "home schooled" because he was too much of a pain in the butt to be in school. He more or less left school in eighth grade. The other ones are generally much better educated than the Public School kids because they actually intend to learn something. 4H is commonly an "extra-curricular activity" for home schoolers.

I DO kid my current bunch about being late for school though.

Later

 

[Miss Sabrina Fairchild]

While at a young age I could understand and appreciate so called "grown-up stuff" the hardest part in those years was, at the same time, still having to "play" at being a kid, at least that's what it felt like to me. A role, I might add, that I didn't think I was very well-suited for! It certainly would have been a relief to have had more peers at the same level that I could relate to back then.

This definitely sounds like my middle child. We were recently at the doctors and he got out this chart for her with some illness super hero and started in that condescending almost high pitched voice adults (and preschool performers) often have when talking down to children and she kept looking at me uncomfortably. She was talking in complete sentences at 18 months...so we always just talked to her normally. Happened again at the paediatrician and you could tell she was doing everything in her power to be polite and not roll her eyes. Which is why she used to prefer the company of others. But most of her homeschool friends have the same interests as her.

Touchofevil - I understand where you are coming from - you have the same concerns as I had before I started. But I have yet to meet a homeschool family who have trouble "teaching" their children (even when they haven't finished high school themselves) or have socialisation issues. But so many of the people I know who school their kids have massive issues with antisocial behaviour. And thankfully so many wonderful homeschool parents before me have paved the way for homeschoolers getting into uni. I can't speak for the states, but here in Australia home ed families I know are having not much difficulty in getting their kids into uni.

For us homeschooling has been so incredibly positive. Our kids are just so different now that they aren't at school. And I think the main problem with school trying to cater to everyone, is that they end up catering to almost no one. I won't go into specifics - but our school actively encourages our bright girls to slow down and aim for the middle and be average. It was quite depressing Then there are the studies that are showing each graduating year knowing less than the previous years. Of course these are just my own experiences and based on the Australian public school system. I don't pretend to know anything about what it is like in the states.

1961MJS - yup most home ed kids I know are eager to learn. And what is 4H? I have heard or seen that somewhere recently...but had no idea what it was.

 

[V.C. Brunswick]

4-H Club

4-H in the United States is a youth organization administered by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture of the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA), with the mission of "engaging youth to reach their fullest potential while advancing the field of youth development." The name represents four personal development areas of focus for the organization: head, heart, hands, and health. The organization has over 6.5 million members in the United States, from ages five to nineteen, in approximately 90,000 clubs.

The goal of 4-H is to develop citizenship, leadership, responsibility and life skills of youth through experiential learning programs and a positive youth development approach. Though typically thought of as an agriculturally focused organization as a result of its history, 4-H today focuses on citizenship, healthy living, science, engineering, and technology programs.

Today, 4-H and related programs exist in over eighty countries around the world; the organization and administration varies from country to country. Each of these programs operates independently, but cooperatively through international exchanges, global education programs, and communications.

The 4-H motto is "To make the best better", while its slogan is "Learn by doing" (sometimes written as "Learn to do by doing").

 

[Miss Sabrina Fairchild]

That sounds awesome! Wish we had something like that here.

 

[vitanola]

With all due respect, if the time of the Long Armistice is considered to be the "Golden Era", then homeschooling was most emphatically NOT exemplar of the generally accepted values of the day. in most jurisdictions in the United States Homeschooling was called "truancy".

Homeschooling is definitely either a modern or a very old phenomenon, as it was for all practical purposes non-existant for the first three-quarters of the Twentieth Century.

I've worked pretty extensively with a number of homeschooled youths over the past few years, and have never failed to be impressed by their demeanor, intelligence, dedication, and work ethic. Generally their knowledge of arithmetic was excellent, though few seemed to be familiar with higher mathematics, their history passable (though with some curious gaps or in some cases gross misinformation, particularly regarding early Twentieth Century America), their geography was universally excellent, civics excellent, English language and composition excellent, but their science (particualrly Biology and Modern Physics) was truly awful. Perhaps this is due to the curriculum commonly used in our area.

 

[Yeps]

I was homeschooled until I went to high school, at which point I went to a very small Catholic school with a very Classical bent (4 years of Latin, 2 of Greek), and now am about to graduate with a Bachelor of Music in Vocal Performance from a medium sized University.

I don't think I would have done very well in school young, as I was(am) extremely hyperactive and not particularly good at the whole attention thing. They would have probably had me on pills of some sort. Also, I was behind on reading and way ahead on math for a long time, which would have been difficult in a more ridgid system.

My mother is now an academic therapist for Dyslexic students, and it is interesting to me that the methods she uses to teach them are very close to those she developed to teach me. I do have a lot of the markers of dyslexia, although I was never diagnosed.

As it turned out, by the time I got to high school, I had learned the skills to go beyond what would have been shortcomings had I been in elementary school, and graduate at the top of my class and excel academically once I reached the university level.

 

[Touchofevil]

I would expect that individualized instruction by a competent source would have the potential to be much more beneficial than a program that is required to fit the masses at a pace dictated by the State whether the client is ready or not.
Another difficulty would be proficiency in all or most subjects wherein the instructor would adequately be able to deliver the required knowledge.
Fortunately, although Homeschooling may make it difficult ( although not anywhere near impossible) to enter a university there is always the possibility of junior college before university. Junior college being much more cost efficient while all the while essentially taking the same required courses.

 

[Flicka]

Home schooling isn't allowed here. Maybe for a short while (a month or so) during an acute crisis, but a parent is not allowed to school their child on a permanent basis. Children are obliged to attend a state approved school and the parents have no say in that.

 

[Miss Sabrina Fairchild]

so university and college are two different things? Here we have Uni or TAFE (trade certificates and diplomas for the most part) I always just thought college meant uni. Most of the home ed families I know that have had their kids accepted through uni used OPEN Uni Australia (online degrees or individual units via distance ed from most of the Uni's in Aus) by having their children complete 2 different single units in the area they were interested in. The minimum age is 11 and their first year maths/science/english is similar to year 11/12 and most 1st year subjects have no pre requisites so families have no trouble starting when their child is ready. A few have gotten in by just showing portfolios of their work through direct entry to the university.

 

[Miss Sabrina Fairchild]

I had heard that. A friend of ours is from sweden and she homeschools her daughters here and while she would love to move back, she said she would have to homeschool in secret.

 

[Touchofevil]

Junior colleges basically are an option wherein a student can take their General Ed. courses instead of spending a fortune at a university and still take the same required courses. The plan typically is that after attaining an A. A. or A. S., one would then transfer to a university to complete their degree. The beauty of the Junior College system is that even someone who made a mistake and dropped out of school, but realizes the err of their ways, can still attend college.

 

[Miss Sabrina Fairchild]

Junior colleges basically are an option wherein a student can take their General Ed. courses instead of spending a fortune at a university and still take the same required courses. The plan typically is that after attaining an A. A. or A. S., one would then transfer to a university to complete their degree. The beauty of the Junior College system is that even someone who made a mistake and dropped out of school, but realizes the err of their ways, can still attend college.

thanks! Good to know

 

[Touchofevil]

You are welcome.

 

[Wally_Hood]

I would not have thought of home schooling as a topic solidly within the realm of "vintage." As someone observed, if we consider the Golden Age, for FL'ers at least, to be the twenties to the forties, with some slight overlap at each end, then the experience for youth in those days would have been, I would imagine, public, private, or parochial schools.

However... we home school our two boys, for health reasons and learning reasons. The older of the two loves it, moves pretty much ahead with little outside motivation, and is earning good grades. The younger is still learning that "school" happens even though he doesn't get on the bus and ride to a building somewhere. As I type this, the older is finishing up his accounting assignment, and just before I logged on to the FL I went over the younger's essay he was to edit and print out. You can do that at half past five in the afternoon with home schooling.

The challenge is great, but so are the rewards. This could be a very interesting thread.

 

[Roving_Bohemian]

I would like to clarify: I said "vintage values", not "Golden Era"...
My grandfather's community in MN had quite a few home-schoolers, and especially during the Great Depression and WWII, when Teachers were in short supply... Even for those who were in "conventional" school, their families taught them a whole lot more than most "modern" schools teach... hence the "values" part.

 

[Wally_Hood]

I would like to clarify: I said "vintage values", not "Golden Era"...
My grandfather's community in MN had quite a few home-schoolers, and especially during the Great Depression and WWII, when Teachers were in short supply... Even for those who were in "conventional" school, their families taught them a whole lot more than most "modern" schools teach... hence the "values" part.

I stand corrected.