Want to buy or sell something? Check the classifieds
  • The Fedora Lounge is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

Styleforum Mean-Spiritedness

Tango Yankee

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,433
Location
Lucasville, OH
To many people anything that isn't something they would wear is a costume.

One thing that is interesting is how a person's persona often changes depending upon what they are wearing. For example, when I was in the Air Force whenever I put on my uniform I went from being "Tom" to "Master Sergeant Yeager (or whatever the rank at the time) and my persona shifted to match.

You can see it in the civilian world as well--have someone switch from wearing torn-up jeans and t-shirt to a suit and their demeanor usually changes as well. Not always, of course.

Just a thought...
 

Fletch

I'll Lock Up
Messages
8,865
Location
Iowa - The Land That Stuff Forgot
Tango Yankee said:
when I was in the Air Force whenever I put on my uniform I went from being "Tom" to "Master Sergeant Yeager (or whatever the rank at the time) and my persona shifted to match.
You mean you started glaring and barking rapid-fire jargon and acronyms? :D

(Just funnin'...The Air Force is the only service where you see formal portraits of senior NCOs actually smiling.)
 

Stoney

Practically Family
Messages
977
Location
Currently on the East Coast
Fletch said:
(Just funnin'...The Air Force is the only service where you see formal portraits of senior NCOs actually smiling.)


Yep, every other service's formal pictures always have a more serious tone to them. Some even include the :" Are you eyeballing me" sneer.
lol


I don't care much for the young crowd over there anyway, The folks here at the FL at least mind their manners and are tend to be supportive of each other rather than antagonstic. But hey, to each his own.
 

Twitch

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,133
Location
City of the Angels
That's it Baron. Even the dorks that don their faithful ball cap whenever they go out are in some sort of costume. It's simply the degree that some take it to which it can come off as eccentric.

I wear virtually no vintage clothing save for a couple 50s-60s casual jackets. And my chinos or jeans look the same as they basically did in the 40s. I like the fedoras in that they go with my vintage Packard and have enough of them and straws to pop one on no matter what else I'm wearing and not look way out. I've seen younger Latinos wearing them with non-vinatge clothes too out here.

I wore nice suits for decades and no longer feel they define me and have no lust to dress up at dubiously casual affairs. Yeah I am usually the only guy at a funeral or wedding with a suit these days but what the heck. I'm not up for dressing in a vintage suit to catch a movie or stroll the mall, which I don't do anyhow. But if some wishes to, by all means, do so. It has to be a really fine upscale restaurant to get me in a suit too.

The whole vintage thing can make some people snooty and full of themselves. But that's part of human nature I suppose because people with narrowly defined interests sometimes get wrapped up in their niche as being the only thing going and they can tend to look down on others simply because they don't share those interests.

There is absolutely nothing inappropriate with buying good modern clothes that define your appearance in the business world and enjoying them. No one would call you a dandy for that since it is expected that men wear contemporary dress if they are going to represent a company in today's business world. Requiring a certain level of dress is not too much to ask people whose company's clients come into contact with them.

Wearing a perpetual look from the 30s every day is costumery. That will fly in some companies and events but not in all. But badmouthing those who don't dress to the vintage code by someone else's standards is as bad as it is in any circumstances apart from vintage.

If you want to dress like an English dude that just got off the stage in Dodge City in the midst of ranch workers fine. If you want to wear a collage of mismatched vivid colors that look clownish fine. Just don't feel it is necessary to criticize others on their lack of matching you particular standards.
 

Miss Neecerie

I'll Lock Up
Messages
6,616
Location
The land of Sinatra, Hoboken
Twitch said:
That's it Baron. Even the dorks that don their faithful ball cap whenever they go out are in some sort of costume. It's simply the degree that some take it to which it can come off as eccentric.

I wear virtually no vintage clothing save for a couple 50s-60s casual jackets. And my chinos or jeans look the same as they basically did in the 40s. I like the fedoras in that they go with my vintage Packard and have enough of them and straws to pop one on no matter what else I'm wearing and not look way out. I've seen younger Latinos wearing them with non-vinatge clothes too out here.

I wore nice suits for decades and no longer feel they define me and have no lust to dress up at dubiously casual affairs. Yeah I am usually the only guy at a funeral or wedding with a suit these days but what the heck. I'm not up for dressing in a vintage suit to catch a movie or stroll the mall, which I don't do anyhow. But if some wishes to, by all means, do so. It has to be a really fine upscale restaurant to get me in a suit too.

The whole vintage thing can make some people snooty and full of themselves. But that's part of human nature I suppose because people with narrowly defined interests sometimes get wrapped up in their niche as being the only thing going and they can tend to look down on others simply because they don't share those interests.

There is absolutely nothing inappropriate with buying good modern clothes that define your appearance in the business world and enjoying them. No one would call you a dandy for that since it is expected that men wear contemporary dress if they are going to represent a company in today's business world. Requiring a certain level of dress is not too much to ask people whose company's clients come into contact with them.

Wearing a perpetual look from the 30s every day is costumery. That will fly in some companies and events but not in all. But badmouthing those who don't dress to the vintage code by someone else's standards is as bad as it is in any circumstances apart from vintage.

If you want to dress like an English dude that just got off the stage in Dodge City in the midst of ranch workers fine. If you want to wear a collage of mismatched vivid colors that look clownish fine. Just don't feel it is necessary to criticize others on their lack of matching you particular standards.

:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

By George! I think someone's got it!


D....goes off singing the rain in spain.....
 

Hemingway Jones

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
6,099
Location
Acton, Massachusetts
Well...

Truly non-judgmental people keep their thoughts to themselves least they stray into self-righteousness. As soon as you express your opinion about how your behavior is superior to others, you have in fact made a judgment. There is the irony that most fail to see.

I am told that the non-judgmental life is an enlightened state of being. I wouldn’t know. I am discerning and enjoy expressing my opinions. I leave that for others who feel that they are better suited for sanctimony. ;) :)
 

Daisy Buchanan

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,332
Location
BOSTON! LETS GO PATRIOTS!!!
Twitch said:
That's it Baron. Even the dorks that don their faithful ball cap whenever they go out are in some sort of costume. It's simply the degree that some take it to which it can come off as eccentric.

I wear virtually no vintage clothing save for a couple 50s-60s casual jackets. And my chinos or jeans look the same as they basically did in the 40s. I like the fedoras in that they go with my vintage Packard and have enough of them and straws to pop one on no matter what else I'm wearing and not look way out. I've seen younger Latinos wearing them with non-vinatge clothes too out here.

I wore nice suits for decades and no longer feel they define me and have no lust to dress up at dubiously casual affairs. Yeah I am usually the only guy at a funeral or wedding with a suit these days but what the heck. I'm not up for dressing in a vintage suit to catch a movie or stroll the mall, which I don't do anyhow. But if some wishes to, by all means, do so. It has to be a really fine upscale restaurant to get me in a suit too.

The whole vintage thing can make some people snooty and full of themselves. But that's part of human nature I suppose because people with narrowly defined interests sometimes get wrapped up in their niche as being the only thing going and they can tend to look down on others simply because they don't share those interests.

There is absolutely nothing inappropriate with buying good modern clothes that define your appearance in the business world and enjoying them. No one would call you a dandy for that since it is expected that men wear contemporary dress if they are going to represent a company in today's business world. Requiring a certain level of dress is not too much to ask people whose company's clients come into contact with them.

Wearing a perpetual look from the 30s every day is costumery. That will fly in some companies and events but not in all. But badmouthing those who don't dress to the vintage code by someone else's standards is as bad as it is in any circumstances apart from vintage.

If you want to dress like an English dude that just got off the stage in Dodge City in the midst of ranch workers fine. If you want to wear a collage of mismatched vivid colors that look clownish fine. Just don't feel it is necessary to criticize others on their lack of matching you particular standards.

I'm into vintage, yet I also have a modern wardrobe. I just prefer to wear my vintage clothes because they make me feel good and are better suited to my curvier figure. I may express my dislike of the style that certain people wear, I may not even approve of certain outfits. However I'm not passing judgement on said persons character, I can still like a person even if I don't like how they dress. My dislike or disapproval of other peoples outfits don't make me snooty or full of myself. Just like the person who doesn't like the way I dress isn't snooty or full of themselves either. We all have our likes and dislikes, we're not perfect. But to call people snooty and full of themselves because they prefer their look over someone else's isn't fair. If we all liked and enjoyed the same things it'd be a pretty boring world.

So, just because I might express that I'm not keen on all modern styles. Or that I might make a comment about how a lot of todays styles are too sloppy for my taste doesn't mean that I think I"m better than those people who wear modern styles. It just means, in my own opinion, that I think I'm better dressed than them. And in the end, what does my opinion really matter anyway. I'm not passing judgment on a persons character or their personality just the way they dress, is that really enough to make me a snob?? Well then so be it, if others think this is snobby or self righteous then let them think that.
Then there are the people who are content with constantly saying that all of us here are always passing judgment on others. Well, that makes them equally as bad, for they are passing judgment on us:(
 

rockyj

One of the Regulars
Messages
195
Location
fairbanks alaska
I couldn't agree more!

Fletch said:
Well, it's like this.

Costume is for performers, party-goers, phonies, and the emotionally maladjusted.

Fashion is for the au courant, the socially ambitious, and those who strive to stay in the public eye.

Style is for everybody who wants it.
Though some of my close friends and family might call me maladjusted lol
 

Panamabob

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,012
Location
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Even the dorks that don their faithful ball cap whenever they go out are in some sort of costume.

The whole vintage thing can make some people snooty and full of themselves.

If you want to dress like an English dude that just got off the stage in Dodge City in the midst of ranch workers fine. If you want to wear a collage of mismatched vivid colors that look clownish fine. Just don't feel it is necessary to criticize others on their lack of matching you particular standards.

Except when they wear baseball caps?
 

Flying Scotsman

One of the Regulars
Messages
229
Location
Pasadena, CA
Hemingway Jones said:
Truly non-judgmental people keep their thoughts to themselves least they stray into self-righteousness. As soon as you express your opinion about how your behavior is superior to others, you have in fact made a judgment. There is the irony that most fail to see.

I am told that the non-judgmental life is an enlightened state of being. I wouldn’t know. I am discerning and enjoy expressing my opinions. I leave that for others who feel that they are better suited for sanctimony. ;) :)

Wouldn't TRULY non-judgemental people not even HAVE an opinion, even if kept to oneself? After all, having an internalized opinion about being superior by definition still makes one judgemental, doesn't it?

I'm just funnin' here...I love logical dilemmas like this! :)

I, as well, have no trouble expressing my opinion...just ask my coworkers, family, friends, distance acquaintances, people on the street... LOL!
 

Hemingway Jones

I'll Lock Up
Bartender
Messages
6,099
Location
Acton, Massachusetts
Flying Scotsman said:
Wouldn't TRULY non-judgemental people not even HAVE an opinion, even if kept to oneself? After all, having an internalized opinion about being superior by definition still makes one judgemental, doesn't it?
I think you're right, My Friend. In in either case, yours or mine, we wouldn't have to read it. ;)
 
Messages
11,579
Location
Covina, Califonia 91722
One man's poison is another man's prune danish.

We are a diverse lot here and for the most part are tolerant and encouraging. We know that our group holds together by bonds of sharing and caring. We share info and we care to help others when questions are raised.

We may feel strongly and in our passionet responses over step bounds or have what we have written be taken in a tone that was not intended. A slight can be taken when none was intended. Here we step back, retract and apologize, try to take the hurt from the sting or do our best to explain. Occasionally things get weird and offense is taken over banter between two friends, by those viewing it. Sometimes, a big debate will form and sides are taken. In the end, those that can get thru these difficulties without totally wigging out and leaving, are the winners, because the conversation and the sharing is great fun and a tremendous opportunity to learn. Also sometimes friends need that sabatical, time away, and we rejoice at their return.

Those that cannot keep from hurting others wind up getting bannished, with all the shame and loss that entails, hopefully this is an infrequent event.

Yes to me the term Costume has connotations that I feel are degrading and there fore undeserved. BUT those in the know say do not fear, get past it and don't worry it was not meant as you have taken it. OK I'll let it pass then.

For each of us we have our own likes and dislikes, our enthusiasums and some times we don't understand when others don't share our enthusiasms as we do. Sometimes we tried to share and it goes a long way, but sometimes it serves to annoy or inflame. There was a thread a while back that centered on the reaction of others to people or things different for what they knew and how the percentages of that group might react. Those reactions run from no notice to violence. So the advice just might have to be: "dress how you like but learn to run fast."
 

varga49

One of the Regulars
Messages
247
Location
Central Texas
Thanks

Twitch said:
That's it Baron. Even the dorks that don their faithful ball cap whenever they go out are in some sort of costume. It's simply the degree that some take it to which it can come off as eccentric.

I wear virtually no vintage clothing save for a couple 50s-60s casual jackets. And my chinos or jeans look the same as they basically did in the 40s. I like the fedoras in that they go with my vintage Packard and have enough of them and straws to pop one on no matter what else I'm wearing and not look way out. I've seen younger Latinos wearing them with non-vinatge clothes too out here.

I wore nice suits for decades and no longer feel they define me and have no lust to dress up at dubiously casual affairs. Yeah I am usually the only guy at a funeral or wedding with a suit these days but what the heck. I'm not up for dressing in a vintage suit to catch a movie or stroll the mall, which I don't do anyhow. But if some wishes to, by all means, do so. It has to be a really fine upscale restaurant to get me in a suit too.

The whole vintage thing can make some people snooty and full of themselves. But that's part of human nature I suppose because people with narrowly defined interests sometimes get wrapped up in their niche as being the only thing going and they can tend to look down on others simply because they don't share those interests.

There is absolutely nothing inappropriate with buying good modern clothes that define your appearance in the business world and enjoying them. No one would call you a dandy for that since it is expected that men wear contemporary dress if they are going to represent a company in today's business world. Requiring a certain level of dress is not too much to ask people whose company's clients come into contact with them.

Wearing a perpetual look from the 30s every day is costumery. That will fly in some companies and events but not in all. But badmouthing those who don't dress to the vintage code by someone else's standards is as bad as it is in any circumstances apart from vintage.

If you want to dress like an English dude that just got off the stage in Dodge City in the midst of ranch workers fine. If you want to wear a collage of mismatched vivid colors that look clownish fine. Just don't feel it is necessary to criticize others on their lack of matching you particular standards.
...for saying what I've thought all along. I don't post here often. I've always loved hats and began collecting them 4 years ago. As a performer; magician and professional clown, I know the difference between a costume and a style choice. As often as not ,I'll wear my bib overalls and my everyday beater fedora while working around the farm here. In the feed store in town there's some old pictures from the 20's and 30's with men wearing nearly the same thing. I haven't yet checked out the aforementioned forums but will. Eventhough I rarely post, I've enjoyed this forum more than any other. I've met some really great folks here.
 

Sefton

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,132
Location
Somewhere among the owls in Maryland
Considering how often the world of fashion repeats elements of it's past it is a bit short sighted to call someone who likes to wear vintage clothes a costumer. When the fickle finger of fashion points back to something from 50 or 60 years ago as this season's "fresh look" snide comments about "costumes' may lead to foot in mouth which is certainly not very fashionable.

 

Forum statistics

Threads
107,342
Messages
3,034,464
Members
52,781
Latest member
DapperBran
Top