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Vintage Disapointment

Real Swell Gal

One of the Regulars
Messages
277
Location
Ohio
ShooShooBaby said:
yep... i've NOT-met rockabilly clubs full of them. lol

but yeah, i've had experiences like that at least a few times in my life. it's even worse when you are pining away for a vintage-friend and you get the cold shoulder!
God knows that's true because none of my friends are into vintage fashion.

I think sometimes people think they're being original by being into vintage fashion and they get miffed if they see someone else wearing "their style".
 

MaryDeluxe

Practically Family
Messages
794
Location
Deluxeville!
desi_de_lu_lu said:
I passed this one girl on the way to the ladies room and politely said "Hi" and I though she was passing a walnut through her butt at that very moment, she totally ignored me and walked away all pickled pussed.

You would think there would be some more solidarity...nope.


lol lol
You are to funny! lol Oh yes, those types of girls...I've met plenty of em! I always figure they'll go away soon enough and find another trendy thing to follow.
 

Miss 1929

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,397
Location
Oakland, California
Vintage vs. Vintage

Don't forget that just because they like one era, doesn't mean they will like yours!
I am always surprised at the rockabilly chicks who turn up their noses, and turn away my friendly overtures, because i am all 1930s with no visible tattoos!
Why can't we all get along?
 

Lauren

Distinguished Service Award
Messages
5,060
Location
Sunny California
mrswheats said:
I know I'm INCREDIBLY shy, so maybe some people are just uncomfortable with strangers running up to them, even if it is positive? And the world is full of it's fair share of rude people.

Ditto for me :eek: I get shy and I just can't help it! I try to be more outgoing but then I feel like I'm being fake and not who I really am. Being online is so much easier for some reason...

But there are people who are just rude, not matter what kind of dress they prefer (like some of you guys have already said).
 

ShoreRoadLady

Practically Family
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrswheats
I know I'm INCREDIBLY shy, so maybe some people are just uncomfortable with strangers running up to them, even if it is positive? And the world is full of it's fair share of rude people.

Ditto for me I get shy and I just can't help it! I try to be more outgoing but then I feel like I'm being fake and not who I really am. Being online is so much easier for some reason...

But there are people who are just rude, not matter what kind of dress they prefer (like some of you guys have already said).

I fall into that category too - I think I may come across as aloof and reserved at first. And I might not turn into Ms. Bubbly when greeted by a stranger. But I *do* try to smile and act friendly if someone addresses me!
 

64tonya

One of the Regulars
Messages
251
Location
San Diego
HaHaHa

Desi, you are funny. I love your pic! Hot stuff ;) I am a bartender at a blues bar and we get some young dancers and they see me dressed semi-vintage. I will wear the real deal on Saturday nights, but I usually don't want to run the risk of ruining my good stuff, so I'll mix repro stuff with a vintage hat or whatever. Some of them are are so elitist! The one guy dancer acted like he didn't believe that I had a closet full of great vintage stuff, but when he finally saw me in something authentic he warmed right up (a little too warm if you know what I mean) Really was he hot for me or the outfit, oh duh, he must be gay :) nevermind I misread the whole thing. Most of them are a little shy at first but warm up. I understand, sometimes you don't know if someone is going to complement you or give you a hard time.
 

pigeon toe

One Too Many
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1,328
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los angeles, ca
I can't stand the girls that are dressed up so lovely, but can't loosen up or smile or laugh. There are definitely rockabilly girls like that, and to be quite honest, it makes it look like they are so uncomfortable and into themselves! That's the one thing that gets my goat about vintage -- the emphasis on looking "perfect" all the time. It just zaps the fun out of people!

And lord knows your everyday women of the 40's did not have perfect curls everyday or perfectly straight seams 24/7! I'd rather look like a real woman than a stuck-up vintage Barbie doll!
 

cherry lips

Call Me a Cab
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2,949
Location
sweden
ShoreRoadLady said:
I fall into that category too - I think I may come across as aloof and reserved at first. And I might not turn into Ms. Bubbly when greeted by a stranger. But I *do* try to smile and act friendly if someone addresses me!

I think I'm like ShoreRoadLady and Lauren, I try to smile to avoid looking aloof (my nightmare!), but I probably won't approach you/the vintage gal. I'll be all smiles if you approach me though:) !

pigeon toe said:
I can't stand the girls that are dressed up so lovely, but can't loosen up or smile or laugh. There are definitely rockabilly girls like that, and to be quite honest, it makes it look like they are so uncomfortable and into themselves! That's the one thing that gets my goat about vintage -- the emphasis on looking "perfect" all the time. It just zaps the fun out of people!

And lord knows your everyday women of the 40's did not have perfect curls everyday or perfectly straight seams 24/7! I'd rather look like a real woman than a stuck-up vintage Barbie doll!

I totally agree with you pigeon toe. "Stuck-up vintage Barbie doll" well put! Hahaha.

:eek:fftopic: Nice new avatars ShooShooBaby and Miss 1929!
 

Mojito

One Too Many
Messages
1,371
Location
Sydney
I sometimes worry when I approach someone in vintage that I come across as too effusive and thus insincere in my comments. I never compliment anyone insincerely - if I want to say something nice to a person and can't honestly say that I love their outfit, I'll find something else - their accessories, their hair, or the just the fact that they look like they're having a wonderful time - to comment on. But when I *do* genuinely like something, I'm pretty unstinted in what I say. I wonder if the unstinted enthusiasm takes people aback?

By contrast, I'm afraid I have an expression in person that may seem a bit unapproachable - combined with my shyness, I've been told that I have an air of aloofness and some folks on getting to know me better admitted later that they were suprised at my warmth when they actually spoke to me. It taught me a lesson about approaching other people. I was at an event where I saw the most amazing looking woman, and I'd have loved to chat to her - but someone in the circle made the comment that she was a "snob" and unapproachable. I didn't dare to risk a rebuff, and so missed the opportunity to have a chat to her. When I did so the next year, I found that although she looked cool, elegant and aloof, she was warm, funny and lovely.

So it's worth risking the rebuffs - there are always going to be people out there that *are* snobs (or feel threatened), but some folks are shy or just a bit reserved by nature, or else may have a sparkling warmth under that exterior. As for the nasty ones - meh. They have may have the ideal looks, but they don't have the ideal manners.
 

desi_de_lu_lu

Practically Family
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871
Location
Tucson, Arizona
64tonya said:
Desi, you are funny. I love your pic! Hot stuff ;)

Haha, thank you! You are sweet..

I can't be elitist with my attire.. I am all boobs and hips so I make 90% of my dresses. I use vintage or vintage repro patterns ... and that is the best I can do. I have found though.. that sometimes when ladies ask me where I got my dress from and I tell them that I made it, it comes across as off-putting to them. I just try to be as nice as I can without being disingenuous but you can't please everyone I guess.

The people that know me in real life know that I am pretty down to earth and would give them the shirt off my back. I find it amusing when I, or my friends and I go to a RAB bar or event.. the chicks that don't know us and are snotty... well...maybe they are snotty because they think they have to pee a circle around their guy to mark their territory...

It is a funny dynamic I have observed, especially at RAB bars, events. The chicks get all weird.
 

Joie DeVive

One Too Many
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1,308
Location
Colorado
cherry lips said:
I think I'm like ShoreRoadLady and Lauren,

Same boat here. I can be so painfully shy that it has in the past been taken for snootiness or aloofness. :( I try to smile and look friendly, but sometimes when approached I can end up so tongue tied that I come off as either vapid or stuck up. :eusa_doh: [huh]

And while I advocate giving people the benefit of the doubt because they could just be shy, KittyT has a good point that some people are just miserable. ;)
 

KittyT

I'll Lock Up
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4,463
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Boston, MA
desi_de_lu_lu said:
well...maybe they are snotty because they think they have to pee a circle around their guy to mark their territory...

I call that insecurity. It's very unattractive. Insecurity like this is much more unattractive than even a downright ugly face.
 

desi_de_lu_lu

Practically Family
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871
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Tucson, Arizona
KittyT said:
I call that insecurity. It's very unattractive. Insecurity like this is much more unattractive than even a downright ugly face.

I agree. Sadly, they are also missing out on being friends with a really great group of girls. But I guess the Über Beeches weed themselves out.
 

64tonya

One of the Regulars
Messages
251
Location
San Diego
Sewing envy

desi_de_lu_lu said:
Haha, thank you! You are sweet..

I can't be elitist with my attire.. I am all boobs and hips so I make 90% of my dresses. I use vintage or vintage repro patterns ... and that is the best I can do. I have found though.. that sometimes when ladies ask me where I got my dress from and I tell them that I made it, it comes across as off-putting to them. I just try to be as nice as I can without being disingenuous but you can't please everyone I guess.

The people that know me in real life know that I am pretty down to earth and would give them the shirt off my back. I find it amusing when I, or my friends and I go to a RAB bar or event.. the chicks that don't know us and are snotty... well...maybe they are snotty because they think they have to pee a circle around their guy to mark their territory...

It is a funny dynamic I have observed, especially at RAB bars, events. The chicks get all weird.
You're right, they're prob marking their territory :) That's great that you have sewing skills like that, I spend a fortune at my tailor! She does a great job, but every time I come in with 4-5 things she just laughs and says "MoreDresses!" HeeHee, she's the only one who knows how serious my problem is...
 

desi_de_lu_lu

Practically Family
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871
Location
Tucson, Arizona
64tonya said:
You're right, they're prob marking their territory :) That's great that you have sewing skills like that, I spend a fortune at my tailor! She does a great job, but every time I come in with 4-5 things she just laughs and says "MoreDresses!" HeeHee, she's the only one who knows how serious my problem is...

I initially used a tailor and it got EXPENSIVE....so I had to hone my skills and get past the phase where my clothing had the dorky homemade 'I JUST MADE IT MYSELF' look. Now it is like...'8 yards of circle skirt to hem?' Bring it on...! (of course there is a Mai Tai sitting next to the sewing machine at all times.)

LOL
 

LadyStardust

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782
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Carolina
Joie DeVive said:
I can be so painfully shy that it has in the past been taken for snootiness or aloofness. ........I can end up so tongue tied that I come off as either vapid or stuck up. :eusa_doh: [huh]

That's me as well, except my affliction extends to practically all situations, even online. Which is funny, because it stems from a condition completely the opposite, where I couldn't feel more uncomfortable and unsure of myself. I do not feel I receive the benefit of the doubt often, if ever, and this makes it even harder. On here too, I have been guilty of something that was mentioned earlier, not always replying (though if it has been a matter of someone asking advice, I'm pretty sure I have always answered). But in the other cases, if I do not reply, it is either because
a.) I feel like I have said all I can, and I feel like everyone would see me as stupid if I just pointlessly blabbered about something
or
b.) I feel stupid in the conversation and have nothing contribute
or
c.) I feel like people will think I have nothing contribute unless it is well worded and elaborate and flowing.

So, while I could be more self-conscious if I tried, I very, very often feel that people get the opposite idea, and that really is unfortunate, for all involved.

Coming around to the point of this thread, I would never turn a cold shoulder if approched by a fellow vintage aficionado, because I would be thrilled to meet those of the same mind, and also, yes, a little bit because I do have my own experience of being turned away because misunderstood.
 

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