Clean Jokes

[Turnip]

 

[Zombie_61]

Ooooh, does it come in black?

 

[Turnip]

Depends on the fraction of occult blood in your stool…

 

[Zombie_61]

Depends on the fraction of occult blood in your stool…

Well played, good Sir!

 

[Turnip]

Confucius says: „It’s often already in you what you are searching for.“

 

[Turnip]

 

[LostInTyme]

I read where a midget clairvoyant has escaped from police custody.
So there's a small medium at large.

 

[LostInTyme]

We have decided, after viewing all the "Designer Dogs" that our Cody will forever be referred to as a "Walking Coonsky" the result of his mother the Husky and his father a Treeing Walker Coonhound.

 

[Turnip]

Fortunately it’s no crossbreed of a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu.

 

[Turnip]

 

[Turnip]

 

[Frunobulax]

 

[Frunobulax]

Wolf: I'm going to eat your babies!

Human: How about instead, blankets, peanut butter and belly rubs?

Wolf: I'm listening...

 

[Trenchfriend]

Classic german kids joke:

How do you sink an East Frisian U-boat?

Just knocking at (the door)...

 

[LostInTyme]

I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation…..I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing….

 

[Hurricane Jack]

 

[Trenchfriend]

I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation…..I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing….

When accidently farting in yoga class, just say, it's "the fragrance candle"...

 

[My Scooter]

.

 

[Trenchfriend]

"Siri, please tell me, which Apple product I can afford!"

"Apple juice"...

 

[Tiki Tom]

Back in my day, I could walk into a store with $25 and walk out with 6 porterhouse steaks, 2 chickens, a case of beer, 3 bottles of wine, 2 loaves of bread, and a gallon of milk. Can’t do that today. Too many damned cameras.