p51
One Too Many
- Messages
- 1,116
- Location
- Well behind the front lines!
You know you've been a re-enactor for too long when:
1. You sit around with buddies and spend hours talking about what vehicles/airplanes/weapons you'd buy if you won the lottery.
2. If you had a time machine, you'd rather go back to 1997 and be an extra in "Saving Private Ryan" than to go back to 1944 and see the REAL Normandy Landings.
3. You'd also set it for 1999 so you could buy everything At The Front had to offer from the props, so you could sell them on ebay later for huge profits.
4. When you find any brand of soda in nostalgic or non-marked glass bottles, you fill a cart with them, even though you know deep down inside that no grunt ever even saw a soda bottle during the war.
5. You pride yourself on being the only guy in your unit who knows the lyrics to popular songs from the WW2 era.
6. You know the dirty "soldier" versions of all those songs, including over 30 versions of, "Bless them all."
7. You often sing those songs in front of you unit to show them up that they don't know the lyrics, dirty or clean.
8. You find a hat/coat/shirt for a nationality you never liked at a show that fits you very well, then suddenly think of building an impression around it.
9. You see a group of "partisans" at an event, and secretly yearn to have that freedom, even when you're talking smack about them.
10. You watch MASH re-runs and groan at all the see nice original gear and vehicles being used in those earlier episodes.
11. You someday want to go to Malibu State Park, where the MASH set was, just to say you've been there.
12. You parents/spouse/kids call up At The Front to see if they have gift certificates for the holidays.
13. You know where the advertising slogans, "Next time take the train," or "Now you're cooking with gas," came from.
14. When your wife starts looking for a decorating theme for the house, you steer her towards, "South Pacific" so you can keep the house looking WW2, as you know it's the only thing you have a shot at making work (I tried, really I did)...
15. Bragging to your friends that your girlfriend owns her own Command Car is much more impressive to them than bragging that she is a current or former Victoria Secrets model.
16. Veterans of certain units quit answering the phone when you call them for the billionth time if they're absolutely sure that there weren't people in their unit in the Battle of the Bulge, to justify your unit's presence at FIG.
17a. You spend over 3 months and hundreds of dollars creating your own complete K rations in the boxes, because you feel that $15 a meal for the pre-made ones is highway robbery.
17b. When you show up at the event with you K rations you made, you poke fun at the farby K rations the other guys in your group made for the event, scolding them for not buying the pre-made ones that look much better.
17c. When those same buddies give it right back for YOUR K rations also looking farby, you take great offense, as this was the best your bubble Jet could print out.
18. You can tell how long another re-enactor has been in the hobby by the war movie lines he quotes at events.
19a. You spend a lot of time at events drooling over the vehicles, dreaming of the day you can own one as you're sick of walking everywhere.
19b. When actually DO you own a WW2 vehicle, there are times you just wish you only had to bring the stuff you brought as a dismounted soldier as it now takes you over twice the time to pack and get to events now.
20. You get sick to death of vehicle drivers never taking hits when you're a dismounted grunt.
21. You get sick to death of every dismounted grunt popping rounds at you like some "Daffy Duck Hunting Season" cartoon when you're a vehicle driver, knowing that if you took every hit, you'd only get to move 50 feet at a time.
22. You've actually yelled, "Hey you, behind the tree!" when calling a hit on someone in a large group of people when ALL of them are hiding behind trees.
23. You take great pride in having a new weapon/vehicle/left-handed widget that is much cooler than anything that one guy every unit has who always has better stuff than anyone. You also get really ticked when that same guy eventually shows up at the next event with something even cooler than you.
24. Developing a life-threatening allergy to wool is something that scares you worse that getting cancer.
25. You get SO tired of hearing, "Why don't you go in the Army for real?" from your friends, family and the public, you eventually do it (Been there, done that).
26. You've actually got into an argument over which D-day event in 1994 was the better; Ft Story or Chicago (even though everyone knows Ft Story was MUCH better!)
27. You look down upon anyone who's never been to FIG once or has never actually jumped from a real landing craft at an event.
28. You have to clean you weapon after firing all the time, but you can't remember the last time you fired live ammo out of the thing, and you're not even sure if the weapon is sighted correctly.
29. Even though you feel that all war movies are farby, you deeply resent that your unit has never been asked to be in one.
30. You miss a big event for someone's wedding, and you wind up hating that couple for the rest of your life.
31. You judge people by how much they enjoy, "Full Metal Jacket." If they think it's funny, you usually get along great with them.
32. If you've ever served in the real military, you loved burning blanks as you knew you weren't paying for them. And you also marveled at how light an M-16 is compared to your M-1 rifle after you've carried it for a few hours.
33a. You think anyone less into the hobby than you is a farb.
33b. You think anyone more into the hobby than you doesn't have a life.
34. You flatly refuse to dance with your own wife, but will cut a mean Lindy with a girl at an event you don't even know.
35. You even know what "cut a mean Lindy" means.
36. You've seriously considered going to a late-war impression as you get tired of people at parades thanking you for your Iraq service when you're wearing you khaki early-war uniforms.
37. You tell people you were an extra in "Windtalkers," and your buddies pat you on your back, telling you how sorry they feel for you.
38. The only sports equipment you own is all WW2-era made to include in your displays.
39. You marvel how easy it is to get into the hobby now through the internet, especially for those who recall when you had to already know someone in the hobby to get into it.
40. You watch a self-appointed "Officer" yell at a "Private" all day, then find out that the "Officer" never served a day in his life, and that the "Private" was actually in the Rangers in combat as an officer in real life (Yes, this actually happened), and you laugh so hard you almost pass out.
41. You spend a lot of time listening to the medics at an event griping about how they're not use correctly within the scenario, and you're baffled at why they can't see that nobody takes their hits for them to be used anyway.
42. You've done a US impression for so long, you feel like you've actually served in that unit for real.
43. You get highly offended when you encounter people who were in that same unit on active duty, and they don't consider you one of the "guys."
44. You get so irritated the public only knows WW2 from war movies, but you'd still rather watch "Band of Brothers" than any History Channel documentary (or, God forbid, pick up a book).
45. You've ever countered an argument with, "Well we have a guy in our unit who knows everything, and HE says…"
46. You actually think the longer you're the hobby, it automatic that it makes you a better a re-enactor.
47. You use the events you've gone to as a benchmark of your life, as in, "Let's see, I had my first kid right after the first time I was at FIG, so that must have been 2002…"
48. You feel a "disturbance in the force" when driving by a thrift or antique store you've never been in, knowing there's something cool inside, and you walk in and go right up to something you've been looking for (it's happened to me several times).
49. You have so many impressions, you've accidentally brought something to an event from a totally different timeframe.
50. You meet a re-enacting buddy in a "normal" social situation, and you refer to each other by your re-enacting ranks, even though everyone else around you know neither of you ever served a day in your lives.
51. You know for a fact that an Altoids tin fits perfectly in your Carlisle pouch, but you just can't bring yourself to put one there.
52. You smack someone for them even suggesting they re-make, "Battleground," or "To Hell and Back."
53. You keep a log book for every time you even start up or change a bolt out on your WW2 vehicle, but can't recall when your normal vehicle's oil was changed last time.
54. Even though it is filled with amazing anachronistic errors, "Kelly's Heroes" is still you favorite war movie.
55. A good event is where nobody asks if that grenade is "real."
56. A great event is where nobody tells you the "$50 Jeep new in the crate" story.
57. You have at least a dozen snappy comebacks for all the stupid questions the public asks, such as #s 55 and 56.
58. You openly hate Dale Dye, but deep down inside you know it's really just jealousy.
59. You may get lost coming home from work on some days, but you know the barracks layout at FIG (or whatever large event you go to) like the back of your hand.
60. Every time someone comes up to you at an event asking how to get into the hobby, you wince because you just know they're going to say they want to do 101st Airborne.
61. You often refer to a WW2 Jeep as G503, even if you don't own one.
62. You’ve been to an event where there are 100 GIs and over 20 Divisions are represented by them, thinking there is nothing odd with that.
63a. You buy a complete impression to back up the new series/movie you heard was in the works, so you can say you didn’t get into it AFTER that movie came out.
63b. You feel sorry for all those who did the above when “Windtalkers,” “Pearl Harbor” and “Flags of our Fathers” came out and thought PTO was going to be huge, but never did.
63c. You’ve bought a new USMC impression anyway after hearing of the HBO series, “The Pacific” because surely PTO is going to be huge soon. Right?
64. You envy the German and Russian re-enactors, because they can wear awards that don’t exist anymore.
65. You have argued with another group with the same shoulder patch your unit wears over who has the most “right” to do so at an event.
66. You drive past a sci-fi convention, see all the people dressed like Klingons or Battlestar Galactica characters, think to yourself, “Get a life,” then suddenly realize the hypocrisy of that thought.
67. You feel you’d be legally within your rights to strangle anyone who calls what you do, “Costuming.”
68. You’ve got into an argument over whether you would have gotten a hit off another re-enactor if you’d all been using live ammo.
69. You can’t set up your TV remote, but know how to break down and reassemble your rifle in the dark.
70. You not only remember the “GI Journal,” you were a subscriber.
71. You also remember when Militaria Magazine was printed in English and were likely a subscriber for that, too.
72. You were a customer of At The Front before they were online.
73. You get into one-upmanship with others on who’s been to FIG the most times.
1. You sit around with buddies and spend hours talking about what vehicles/airplanes/weapons you'd buy if you won the lottery.
2. If you had a time machine, you'd rather go back to 1997 and be an extra in "Saving Private Ryan" than to go back to 1944 and see the REAL Normandy Landings.
3. You'd also set it for 1999 so you could buy everything At The Front had to offer from the props, so you could sell them on ebay later for huge profits.
4. When you find any brand of soda in nostalgic or non-marked glass bottles, you fill a cart with them, even though you know deep down inside that no grunt ever even saw a soda bottle during the war.
5. You pride yourself on being the only guy in your unit who knows the lyrics to popular songs from the WW2 era.
6. You know the dirty "soldier" versions of all those songs, including over 30 versions of, "Bless them all."
7. You often sing those songs in front of you unit to show them up that they don't know the lyrics, dirty or clean.
8. You find a hat/coat/shirt for a nationality you never liked at a show that fits you very well, then suddenly think of building an impression around it.
9. You see a group of "partisans" at an event, and secretly yearn to have that freedom, even when you're talking smack about them.
10. You watch MASH re-runs and groan at all the see nice original gear and vehicles being used in those earlier episodes.
11. You someday want to go to Malibu State Park, where the MASH set was, just to say you've been there.
12. You parents/spouse/kids call up At The Front to see if they have gift certificates for the holidays.
13. You know where the advertising slogans, "Next time take the train," or "Now you're cooking with gas," came from.
14. When your wife starts looking for a decorating theme for the house, you steer her towards, "South Pacific" so you can keep the house looking WW2, as you know it's the only thing you have a shot at making work (I tried, really I did)...
15. Bragging to your friends that your girlfriend owns her own Command Car is much more impressive to them than bragging that she is a current or former Victoria Secrets model.
16. Veterans of certain units quit answering the phone when you call them for the billionth time if they're absolutely sure that there weren't people in their unit in the Battle of the Bulge, to justify your unit's presence at FIG.
17a. You spend over 3 months and hundreds of dollars creating your own complete K rations in the boxes, because you feel that $15 a meal for the pre-made ones is highway robbery.
17b. When you show up at the event with you K rations you made, you poke fun at the farby K rations the other guys in your group made for the event, scolding them for not buying the pre-made ones that look much better.
17c. When those same buddies give it right back for YOUR K rations also looking farby, you take great offense, as this was the best your bubble Jet could print out.
18. You can tell how long another re-enactor has been in the hobby by the war movie lines he quotes at events.
19a. You spend a lot of time at events drooling over the vehicles, dreaming of the day you can own one as you're sick of walking everywhere.
19b. When actually DO you own a WW2 vehicle, there are times you just wish you only had to bring the stuff you brought as a dismounted soldier as it now takes you over twice the time to pack and get to events now.
20. You get sick to death of vehicle drivers never taking hits when you're a dismounted grunt.
21. You get sick to death of every dismounted grunt popping rounds at you like some "Daffy Duck Hunting Season" cartoon when you're a vehicle driver, knowing that if you took every hit, you'd only get to move 50 feet at a time.
22. You've actually yelled, "Hey you, behind the tree!" when calling a hit on someone in a large group of people when ALL of them are hiding behind trees.
23. You take great pride in having a new weapon/vehicle/left-handed widget that is much cooler than anything that one guy every unit has who always has better stuff than anyone. You also get really ticked when that same guy eventually shows up at the next event with something even cooler than you.
24. Developing a life-threatening allergy to wool is something that scares you worse that getting cancer.
25. You get SO tired of hearing, "Why don't you go in the Army for real?" from your friends, family and the public, you eventually do it (Been there, done that).
26. You've actually got into an argument over which D-day event in 1994 was the better; Ft Story or Chicago (even though everyone knows Ft Story was MUCH better!)
27. You look down upon anyone who's never been to FIG once or has never actually jumped from a real landing craft at an event.
28. You have to clean you weapon after firing all the time, but you can't remember the last time you fired live ammo out of the thing, and you're not even sure if the weapon is sighted correctly.
29. Even though you feel that all war movies are farby, you deeply resent that your unit has never been asked to be in one.
30. You miss a big event for someone's wedding, and you wind up hating that couple for the rest of your life.
31. You judge people by how much they enjoy, "Full Metal Jacket." If they think it's funny, you usually get along great with them.
32. If you've ever served in the real military, you loved burning blanks as you knew you weren't paying for them. And you also marveled at how light an M-16 is compared to your M-1 rifle after you've carried it for a few hours.
33a. You think anyone less into the hobby than you is a farb.
33b. You think anyone more into the hobby than you doesn't have a life.
34. You flatly refuse to dance with your own wife, but will cut a mean Lindy with a girl at an event you don't even know.
35. You even know what "cut a mean Lindy" means.
36. You've seriously considered going to a late-war impression as you get tired of people at parades thanking you for your Iraq service when you're wearing you khaki early-war uniforms.
37. You tell people you were an extra in "Windtalkers," and your buddies pat you on your back, telling you how sorry they feel for you.
38. The only sports equipment you own is all WW2-era made to include in your displays.
39. You marvel how easy it is to get into the hobby now through the internet, especially for those who recall when you had to already know someone in the hobby to get into it.
40. You watch a self-appointed "Officer" yell at a "Private" all day, then find out that the "Officer" never served a day in his life, and that the "Private" was actually in the Rangers in combat as an officer in real life (Yes, this actually happened), and you laugh so hard you almost pass out.
41. You spend a lot of time listening to the medics at an event griping about how they're not use correctly within the scenario, and you're baffled at why they can't see that nobody takes their hits for them to be used anyway.
42. You've done a US impression for so long, you feel like you've actually served in that unit for real.
43. You get highly offended when you encounter people who were in that same unit on active duty, and they don't consider you one of the "guys."
44. You get so irritated the public only knows WW2 from war movies, but you'd still rather watch "Band of Brothers" than any History Channel documentary (or, God forbid, pick up a book).
45. You've ever countered an argument with, "Well we have a guy in our unit who knows everything, and HE says…"
46. You actually think the longer you're the hobby, it automatic that it makes you a better a re-enactor.
47. You use the events you've gone to as a benchmark of your life, as in, "Let's see, I had my first kid right after the first time I was at FIG, so that must have been 2002…"
48. You feel a "disturbance in the force" when driving by a thrift or antique store you've never been in, knowing there's something cool inside, and you walk in and go right up to something you've been looking for (it's happened to me several times).
49. You have so many impressions, you've accidentally brought something to an event from a totally different timeframe.
50. You meet a re-enacting buddy in a "normal" social situation, and you refer to each other by your re-enacting ranks, even though everyone else around you know neither of you ever served a day in your lives.
51. You know for a fact that an Altoids tin fits perfectly in your Carlisle pouch, but you just can't bring yourself to put one there.
52. You smack someone for them even suggesting they re-make, "Battleground," or "To Hell and Back."
53. You keep a log book for every time you even start up or change a bolt out on your WW2 vehicle, but can't recall when your normal vehicle's oil was changed last time.
54. Even though it is filled with amazing anachronistic errors, "Kelly's Heroes" is still you favorite war movie.
55. A good event is where nobody asks if that grenade is "real."
56. A great event is where nobody tells you the "$50 Jeep new in the crate" story.
57. You have at least a dozen snappy comebacks for all the stupid questions the public asks, such as #s 55 and 56.
58. You openly hate Dale Dye, but deep down inside you know it's really just jealousy.
59. You may get lost coming home from work on some days, but you know the barracks layout at FIG (or whatever large event you go to) like the back of your hand.
60. Every time someone comes up to you at an event asking how to get into the hobby, you wince because you just know they're going to say they want to do 101st Airborne.
61. You often refer to a WW2 Jeep as G503, even if you don't own one.
62. You’ve been to an event where there are 100 GIs and over 20 Divisions are represented by them, thinking there is nothing odd with that.
63a. You buy a complete impression to back up the new series/movie you heard was in the works, so you can say you didn’t get into it AFTER that movie came out.
63b. You feel sorry for all those who did the above when “Windtalkers,” “Pearl Harbor” and “Flags of our Fathers” came out and thought PTO was going to be huge, but never did.
63c. You’ve bought a new USMC impression anyway after hearing of the HBO series, “The Pacific” because surely PTO is going to be huge soon. Right?
64. You envy the German and Russian re-enactors, because they can wear awards that don’t exist anymore.
65. You have argued with another group with the same shoulder patch your unit wears over who has the most “right” to do so at an event.
66. You drive past a sci-fi convention, see all the people dressed like Klingons or Battlestar Galactica characters, think to yourself, “Get a life,” then suddenly realize the hypocrisy of that thought.
67. You feel you’d be legally within your rights to strangle anyone who calls what you do, “Costuming.”
68. You’ve got into an argument over whether you would have gotten a hit off another re-enactor if you’d all been using live ammo.
69. You can’t set up your TV remote, but know how to break down and reassemble your rifle in the dark.
70. You not only remember the “GI Journal,” you were a subscriber.
71. You also remember when Militaria Magazine was printed in English and were likely a subscriber for that, too.
72. You were a customer of At The Front before they were online.
73. You get into one-upmanship with others on who’s been to FIG the most times.
