WONK: the Chaos Reigns Players

[retrogirl1941]

(already half way through the glass of absinthe)
Well.....I .....we...um...yes. Why do you have a problem with that, hic?


Samantha

 

[Diamondback]

Back at Hangar 18...
*We see lightning flashing all over the place, and then the Mother of All Lightning Strikes is a direct-hit on the hangar. [CUT TO INSIDE, down in the surgical center] The lights go out, and we see a sparks flying around Bourne's sickbed. When the lights come up, we see he's gone...*
a mad-scientist-like voice from the shadows: It's ALIIIIIVE! *cackling*

 

[KilroyCD]

Kilroy: My dear, you apparently don't realize I'm being faceteous. *Lights flicker, followed by a heavy rumble of thunder* That was close. I wonder if it hit anything?

 

[retrogirl1941]

What? hic....Of course I knew hic....you were being what did you say you were being?hic....

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

Kilroy: *Downs his fifth drink in quick succession* Huh? *hic* Ya know, little lady, *hic* ya gotta shtay away from that shtuff *hic*. You'll go crazy. What did I say I was? *hic*

 

[KilroyCD]

Graham: *To barmaid* How's that keg holding out?

 

[retrogirl1941]

(finshes off remaining drink) Bartender.....hic.....can I haf anotheeerr one......(falls to the floor passed out).

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

Oh, *hic* that's gonna leave a mark! Graham *hic*, I'll have what she's having! *hic*

 

[KilroyCD]

As Kilroy and Samantha get legless in the Duck and Tuba (ain't British pub names grand?), a sinister storm moves in from the sea. Will Diamondback (aka Bourne) reprise his roll from the Lower Dimpton Amateur Players production of Young Frankenstein? Will Samantha wake up with a fuzzy tongue again? Will Kilroy have a fuzzy tongue, or drink a Fuzzy Navel? (Heck, he'll drink anything). What happened to PI and White? Will Aston make it back to the train station before the storm hits?

Announcer: Tune in next time as The Chaos Reigns Players return next time with another mind-numbing misadventure:

Will Carter be back next time?
Will PI's Duesenberg have anough petrol?
Will Rollo ultimately secure a place in the next episode?
Will Kilroy actually be sober?
Will Diamondback and his assemblage ever...?
Will Samantha be reunited her bottle of Absinthe?
Will the Police Inspector ever see Chicago again?
Where is The Faun?
Will Arnold have any more lines to say next week?
Will Nurse Martha return?
Will we have cameos from Dostacos, zaika, MNC and Dash?

TUNE IN NEXT TIME To WONK for the answers to these and many other nonsensical questions, when the Chaos Reigns Players continue the Saga of The Rescue of the Two Cabooses Plus Multiple Milos or How I Saved the Train With a Plane But Lost My Mind To Porridge.

(We are not responsible for the inconclusivity of the aforementioned conclusion.)

Inspired by Marc Chevalier from a post by Carter derived from a photo posted by Salv.

This Evening's Cast - Diamondback, Samantha, KilroyCD, the Police Inspector, "Aston", "Sgt. Scott", "Agent 'Slappy' White" "KARR", "Blackout", "Fritz", and "Graham".

This Threadcast was posted live at the Studios of the Fedora Lounge.

A production of Threaded World, Ltd.

Our Thanks to MK and the Bartenders for their Understanding and Forebearance.

 

[KilroyCD]

Announcer: Welcome to this week's episode of WONK: The Chaos Reigns Players Presents. When we last left our heros, Samantha and Kilroy had headed to the pub to get legless (and succeeded beyond their wildest dreams). Or had they?

 

[KilroyCD]

*Waking up* Oh, my Lord, what an evening. *Looks up and sees a pair of red stockings draped over the headboard of the bed* What? Oh, yeah... I think I remember. *Looks and sees a matching red brassiere draped over the lamp shade* Wow, must have been one heck of an evening. Too bad I can't remember... *Sniffs the air* That sure smells like Sam's perfume... *Hears someone in the next room*
Sam! Are you there?!?
Lo Phat: No Suh, just me. How would you like your eggs this morning?

 

[retrogirl1941]

(wakes up in a warehouse sorounded by packing crates)
Where am I? I thought last time I was with Kilroy......Maybe he went into the other room? But we were in the pub last time I checked.

(and suddenly a man wearing trenchcoat walks into the room with his fedora pulled low over his face)

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

Where is everyone? I last remember being in the pub with "Red", and we were tying one on. Lo Phat, do you know where she is?
Lo Phat: No Suh, all I know is that you came in long after the pub closed, carrying those stockings and you were singing "You must have been a Beautiful Baby"...

 

[retrogirl1941]

Who are you?
(the man keeps moving towards me)

Where am I?

(trying to untie the ropes around my hands)

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

Kilroy: Lo Phat, you mean that Samantha wasn't with me?
Lo Phat: That's right, Suh.
Kilroy: Are you sure? I mean, she could have come home with me and sneaked out later...
Lo Phat: Believe me Suh, everyone know when you got back. Nobody see her.
Kilroy: Oh, Lordy...

 

[KilroyCD]

Who are you?
(the man keeps moving towards me)

Where am I?

(trying to untie the ropes around my hands)

Samantha

Fritz: Okay, mein little pretty. Your people got Zeigfried und Roy. Zhen zay tried to get me, but zhey failed. Now, mein little pretty, it iss mein turn to get you. Do not try to escape. You cannot get out of zhis buildink. You vill be killt iff you try.
Now, tell us vhere Carter iss. Ve haff vays to make you talk!

 

[retrogirl1941]

Fritz, You know I dont know where carter is! Can you tell why you have tied me up?

Samantha

 

[KilroyCD]

Fritz, You know I dont know where carter is! Can you tell why you have tied me up?

Samantha

Fritz: Do you really think I'm goink to fall for zhat line? Carter iss your fahzer. You must know vhere he iss! Und, mein little pretty, you are tied up because it fits vith ze story line!

 

[retrogirl1941]

I really dont know where he is! I was with you last I remember......Wait no that was a weird dream! Where is PI? Did you hurt him?

Samantha

 

[PoliceInspecter]

Meanwhile PI is driving the Dusenburg at top speed toward the warehouse where Red is being held captive!