Lady Day said:So what made for a good husband back then?
The Good Husband's Guide (2006)
This is my personal spin on the Good Wife's Guide published in 1955.
1. If your wife has dinner ready, she probably took great care to plan ahead for this meal. This is her way of letting you know that she has been thinking about you and is concerned about your needs. If you aren't hungry, at least thank her for preparing a good meal and providing you with a warm welcome.
2. How does she look? If she looks haggard and weary and has spots and stains on her clothes, she has most likely had a very difficult day. If she looks refreshed, it is likely because she rushed to finish her housework and then took a few minutes (or more) to appear refreshed when you arrived. Appreciate her efforts either way.
3. Speak to her. She's spent her entire day with the dog and children - none of which can conduct an adult conversation. It will help her to feel connected to the world to speak with another adult.
4. Is the house clean? Children play and make messes - that is their job. If the house is clean, appreciate the effort she made to clear away the clutter. If not, understand that other things might have come up and she may not have had time to pick up.
5. If the children are clean and happy to see you, realize that she must have taken an effort to clean them up. (Clean is not a child's natural state.)
6. Greet her with a warm smile, a kiss and ask her how her day was. You don't really have to listen, but at least pretend you are.
7. She may have a dozen important things to tell you and understands that the moment of your arrival is not the time. You may not think she could have anything important to say, but take some time between your daily dump and hockey playoffs to listen to what she has to say.
8. Try to understand that her world has its own strains and pressures and she needs quiet time just as much as you do. (If you doubt this, try doing her job for a day.)
9. Her goal is to try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility. If it isn't, understand that she had to spend the whole day in it - you got to be away from it.
10. Don't greet her with complaints and problems.
11. Don't complain if she's late in preparing dinner or even if she asks you to pick up take-out on the way home. Count this as minor compared to what she might have gone through that day.
12. Allow her to be comfortable. Let her lean back in a comfortable chair or lie down in the bedroom while you spend some time with your children. She could use the break and they can always use your attention.
13. Don't yell. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
14. Don't ask her questions about her actions or question her judgment or integrity. Remember, she is tasked with managing the entire household, maintaining the house and grounds, budgeting, paying bills, shopping, cooking, cleaning and caring for your children. It is a very serious job to her and she will always carry out her duties with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question her.
15. A good husband always realizes how lucky he is to have a wife that takes care of him, his castle and his little princes and/or princesses.
carebear said:If Little Johnny can't read, that's Mommy's fault. If there's no electricity, so Johnny can't see to read. That's Daddy's fault.
Elaina said:I do all the finances here, as well.
Because there's less money when only one works, he leaves it all to me because I have a better knack at being cheap. He wants me to go out and be able to shop, and he can't seem to ever be able to have enough money left over to give to me to do that. So it makes him feel better to say "you spent how much for all these groceries?!" and I sneak in fabric or shoes and he pretends not to notice them (because let's be honest, how can you NOT notice this fuchsia, aqua, black, yellow tweed that appears admist the grey, blue and sea foam green fabric on the table? Or the fact I haven't worn the same pair of shoes in a week?)