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Don't Call me. And for Heaven's Sake, Don't Knock: 21st Century Taboos.

scotrace

Head Bartender
Staff member
Messages
14,383
Location
Small Town Ohio, USA
I've always hated talking on the phone, even before cell phones were a thing. This has become a stronger aversion as I've gotten older. Texting is the way to go. Professionally, I have no choice but to speak to people via phone, but I still hate it. If I could, I would change my voicemail greeting to "Hi. Hang up and text me and let's never do this again."
This is the new norm of the 21st century. Even companies are advertising that they won't call you unless it's absolutely necessary.

It's also no longer good to show up on someone's doorstep and knock. It has scary connotations now. If no one is expecting your knock, who the hell is it? A salesperson? A clown in costume? The cops?
Best thing now is to make sure people expect you and text when you arrive.
When people knock at our house, we turn down the TV volume and hide.
 

The Lost Cowboy

One Too Many
Messages
1,576
Location
Northern Alabama
I've always hated talking on the phone, even before cell phones were a thing. This has become a stronger aversion as I've gotten older. Texting is the way to go. Professionally, I have no choice but to speak to people via phone, but I still hate it. If I could, I would change my voicemail greeting to "Hi. Hang up and text me and let's never do this again."
This is the new norm of the 21st century. Even companies are advertising that they won't call you unless it's absolutely necessary.

It's also no longer good to show up on someone's doorstep and knock. It has scary connotations now. If no one is expecting your knock, who the hell is it? A salesperson? A clown in costume? The cops?
Best thing now is to make sure people expect you and text when you arrive.
When people knock at our house, we turn down the TV volume and hide.
I keep my phone on “Do Not Disturb.” I even hate getting voice messages - if you can’t type it in a text, I don’t really want to know about it.

No one shows up at my door unannounced. A good friend did that once - only once. I was so visibly uncomfortable that she apologized and left very quickly.

Hard to believe our entire society is like this. I truly thought my personality was just dysfunctional. Turns out I might be normal?
 
Messages
10,769
Location
My mother's basement
Telephone and door-to-door soliciting are disrespectful of the receivers’ time. They are demanding of our attention, which, you know, is kinda rude, seeing how they take us away from what we’d rather be doing.

I let calls from numbers I don’t recognize go to voicemail. Most auto-dialed solicitations (as most of them are these days; the “caller“ doesn’t come on the line until the call is answered) don’t leave messages. So I’m spared having to delete them from my voice mailbox.

I was compelled to get email back in 1990-something. I quickly enough took to it, mostly because I found it more polite than most other modes of communication. The recipients tend to it at their convenience, not the senders’.

Alas, I now find myself deleting AT LEAST 50 emails on any given day. I unsubscribe, which doesn’t necessarily stop the senders, just as my plainly displayed “No Soliciting, Thank You” sign at my front walk doesn’t always deter door-to-door solicitors.

Still, though, I enjoy sometimes lengthy calls with a few folks. I have a cousin living a thousand miles away with whom I chat for upwards of an hour a time or two per month. And I have a friend who bounces between her old hometown in Ukraine and a city in Eastern Poland where she is sometimes compelled to take refuge. She can chat for hours at a stretch via WhatsApp (it’s great; get it if you don’t have it already), and while it’s always good to hear her voice, I’m usually the one who has to steer the conversation toward its conclusion, which can be a 15 or 20 minute process in itself.
 
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LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,362
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
Never sent a text in my life. I have a phony-name Facebook account for keeping in touch with a few very select people, I have an email account I use for work obligations and a few very close friends, and I have an answering machine on my phone. If you can't leave me a message and wait for me to get back to you when it's convenient for me to do so, I don't need to be in touch with you anyway. To expect an immediate response to anything is like walking up behind a person who is busy, spinning them around and screaming in their face. The only immediate response that deserves is something akin to "bite me."
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,558
Location
New Forest
I've always hated talking on the phone, even before cell phones were a thing. This has become a stronger aversion as I've gotten older. Texting is the way to go. Professionally, I have no choice but to speak to people via phone, but I still hate it. If I could, I would change my voicemail greeting to "Hi. Hang up and text me and let's never do this again."
This is the new norm of the 21st century. Even companies are advertising that they won't call you unless it's absolutely necessary.
My utility company has supplied me with gas & electricity for the last twenty years. We have never missed a payment, although we don't pay by direct debit. When the bill arrives my wife goes online to the utility company's website and pays it.

There was a problem with the last company invoice, well payment problem to be exact. My wife was one hour past the payment deadline and found that we had been locked out and unable to pay. The next day I phoned the utility company only to find that I had to talk to an AI answer voice. AI must have got p*ssed off with me, it hung up.

One phone call to a competitor and we had a new supplier, we also had £65 to spend, that being the saving we made switching suppliers. Moral of my sorry tale. Answer the phone and don't leave it to machines.

By the way, if it's an unwanted call like someone trying to sell you something, just hang up. Ending the call thus is rude, but it is also recognised as being told what to do, much like using a profanity, they get the message.
 
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FOXTROT LAMONT

One Too Many
Messages
1,723
Location
St John's Wood, London UK
Moral of my sorry tale. Answer the phone and don't leave it to machines.
Throughout lockdown all the sportsbet blokes called hawking horses stateside.
My number is out n' about in bettor circles, so this came no real surprise but I queered
their pitch by offering to sell some horse picks back at them. The silence-sputter this caused
was literally priceless. Me favourite caller actually started a confession admitting he wanted
to play pony but didn't bet.;):D I offered a few Yank writ titles to learn the game.:cool:
 

Edward

Bartender
Messages
24,908
Location
London, UK
I've developed an aversion to the phone myself. Fine if it's someone I already know. For work calling a stranger - especially cold -calling - or even for me calling the bank to request a new card or something.... gives me the willies. I can put off calls for weeks at a time rather than make them.

Texts I use a lot when I don't want to get into a conversation - time tight or whatever. For work I'd always a thousand times prefer email over phone. A big plus of Covid was the University got rid of all our desk phones - we now exclusively use Teams and/or zoom instead. If I am having a call with someone, it's much nicer to be able to interact face to face, and I find myself much less reluctant to do it.
 

AeroFan_07

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,482
Location
Iowa
I can see both ways for the phone. I both text & talk. There are simply some conversations that are much more efficient and meaningful by talking on the phone. My folks are in their 80's and live hours away. I realize that sometimes the conversation may not always be convenient but you just never know if it may be the last conversation you ever have with them.

That said, one friend who is the same age as me Refuses to text. Only will call. It's vey annoying. And he wonders why no-one will return his calls? Hum, seems pretty obvious.
 
Messages
10,769
Location
My mother's basement
A friend relaxing on a beach in the Dominican Republic video called me this morning via WhatsApp. I answered but I told him I avoid video calls because I can’t help but feel self-conscious looking at myself.
 
Messages
10,769
Location
My mother's basement
^^^^^^
It’s not a matter of shyness. When I’m talking with other people face-to-face I’m not gazing upon my own. If there’s a mirror in sight I avoid looking at it. Likewise, I don’t wish to see my mug on a video screen when my attentions are better directed toward the other party.
 

AeroFan_07

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,482
Location
Iowa
Perhaps not a "taboo" but a lost art - the giving of Thank You cards after Christmas, weddings, graduations, etc.
Or maybe it's just the we have all found out - what do we do with all this later in life? :)
 
Messages
10,769
Location
My mother's basement
^^^^^
I was raised by heathens, so I wasn’t introduced to such social niceties until I was long out of the nest.

The lovely missus sees to it we always have an assortment of general purpose cards (not event-specific, in other words), nice ones, to send as thank-you’s or condolences or congratulations or whatever. A regular visitor never fails to bring a card thanking us for whatever little kindness we might have done for her. She doesn’t have much by way of material wealth and very little prospect of a comfortable retirement (or any retirement at all, for that matter), yet she always sends cards.
 
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LostInTyme

Practically Family
I don't particularly like texting. My fingers are too big and won't hit the right keys more than half the time. I absolutely hate family texting strings. But they all love it. I don't talk too much on the phone, but when I do, it's because I have something important to tell the person I called. I can't stand Angi's list. But, you can't find contractors anywhere on the web anymore. I use email a lot, and I use messenger for close friends and Facebook Marketplace, and not much else.

And, when texting I spell out the words in their entirety.
 
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