Miss, Mrs. or Madam? The demise of Ms?

[ITG]

Ms. can be used for a married or single woman. When I have a choice to check Miss, Ms., or Mrs. as my title, I check Ms. just because I feel it's not of any business for a stranger to know my marital status. Also at work, I use Ms. just because some people and/or parents may pass judgement on you if you're single or married or have children. Not that it matters to me if they judge me, but I just find it to be none of their business. I once had a parent try to say that I am not a good teacher because I don't have any kids myself. She said this in a room full of other teacher (3 of us plus an administrator) and only one of the teachers had a child, which I found hilarious.

 

[Lincsong]

Ms. can be used for a married or single woman. When I have a choice to check Miss, Ms., or Mrs. as my title, I check Ms. just because I feel it's not of any business for a stranger to know my marital status. Also at work, I use Ms. just because some people and/or parents may pass judgement on you if you're single or married or have children. Not that it matters to me if they judge me, but I just find it to be none of their business. I once had a parent try to say that I am not a good teacher because I don't have any kids myself. She said this in a room full of other teacher (3 of us plus an administrator) and only one of the teachers had a child, which I found hilarious.

Good point. If they don't want to hear the opinions of childless people then ergo, childless people should not have to pay taxes to fund public schools.

 

[Robert Conway]

Bella, if you ever visit Texas, just remember that in that state, any female over 18 is referred to as "Ma'am" by polite sales staff.

Well brought up Texas kids will consistently answer Yes Sir and No Sir, and Yes Ma'am and No Ma'am.

I was just down south and a heart felt 'Good morning Ma'me, how are you today' will still earn you extra points. Especially if you are a Yankee with a thick New York accent...

 

[Samsa]

Just don't call me "Ma'am". Until I turn 50.

I work in a library (at the circulation desk) where I must frequently get the attention of the next person in line (frequently a woman), and "ma'am" seems to me the only feasible option, especially considering the wide variety of age groups represented. I would feel awkward calling a 70 year old woman "Miss," for instance. And even though I'm sure this is a particular quirk of mine, I would feel as though I was being patronizing if I were to call a young woman "Miss."

 

[Shaul-Ike Cohen]

My problem is that I earn very strange views when I address a Southern lady as "Ma'am", because I pronounce it mahm, not mehm. People tend to understand this as "Mom". (Which I in turn wouldn't pronounce mahm as is usual in the States, but momm with an o.)

Confusing.

 

[magneto]

It must just be me...

...but I dislike hearing "Ms", it's aesthetically unappealing to me: "mizzzz". Sounds like a slurring mosquito.

 

[Irena]

...but I dislike hearing "Ms", it's aesthetically unappealing to me: "mizzzz". Sounds like a slurring mosquito.

Well, I don't like saying "Ms", it feels like something is missing. I do understand why it is used so often, though I doubt I will ever ask to be called "Ms".

 

[mysterygal]

I've always loved being referred to as 'ma'am'. Just sounds so sweet and polite [huh]

 

[Matt Deckard]

I've always loved being referred to as 'ma'am'. Just sounds so sweet and polite [huh]

Yes Ma'am.

 

[mysterygal]

Yes Ma'am.

thank you

 

[raiderrescuer]

Miss...

The one I like is calling a Young Lady "Miss" and having her dang near punch out your lights with her Large Rock Wedding Ring and correcting you "That's MRS. to you"

Or after being in Texas for 6 months for the Air Force and calling all Females Ma'am and watching the young girls get all bothered that they aren't "Old Enough" to be a Ma'am.

 

[mysterygal]

that's just getting too bothered about it! How are you to know whether the lady was married or not? With me, I just smile and politely say, "oh, actually it's mrs.'...no harm done!

 

[ITG]

Or after being in Texas for 6 months for the Air Force and calling all Females Ma'am and watching the young girls get all bothered that they aren't "Old Enough" to be a Ma'am.

It's weird because I don't mind people saying "yes, ma'am" to me, but using "ma'am" alone to address me makes me feel old, as in "Can I help you, ma'am?" So I can relate to that.

 

[Haversack]

Kat wrote some time back:

"No girl likes to hear "Fr?§ulein" anymore. And nobody is using it , except for older people.Young women wanna feel mature and think it sounds weird and too old fashioned...maaaaaaan that what its about... well i still like and prefer it, It sounds way nicer and I dont want people calling me "Frau" ..that makes me old."

So "gn?§dige Frau" is right out, I suppose?

Haversack

 

[katiemakeup]

I usually say Mr. Mrs. & Miss unless introduced by their first names, or ask me to call them by their first names. For women, if I am not sure of their status, I just say Ms. to be safe.

I do recall the first time I was called ma'am... I was about 25 at the time (I will be 33 in the fall) and it was in the grocery store when a 12ish year old kid bumped into me. He said, "Excuse me ma'am!" which was nice of him to say because now a days kids just plow into you and keep going...but I was stunned because I never realized that to a kid I AM a ma'am! lol

 

[skinnychik]

I do recall the first time I was called ma'am... I was about 25 at the time (I will be 33 in the fall) and it was in the grocery store when a 12ish year old kid bumped into me. He said, "Excuse me ma'am!" which was nice of him to say because now a days kids just plow into you and keep going...but I was stunned because I never realized that to a kid I AM a ma'am! lol

I can relate. A sales clerk in the mall referred to me as "that lady" when he was relaying my question to his manager. I thought, "Is he talking about ME?"

 

[raiderrescuer]

I do recall the first time I was called ma'am... I was about 25 at the time (I will be 33 in the fall) and it was in the grocery store when a 12ish year old kid bumped into me. He said, "Excuse me ma'am!" which was nice of him to say because now a days kids just plow into you and keep going...but I was stunned because I never realized that to a kid I AM a ma'am! lol

Your Lucky, around here the kid would have more likely plowed into you and cussed you out and told you to get out of his way !

 

[Matt Deckard]

Now, now ... in the old days, "mistress" didn't necessarily mean "lover".

.

True. I'm not a fan of how mistress has become a corrupted term.

 

[Vladimir Berkov]

My big annoyance is the corruption of the term "lady." "Lady" is not an equivilant term to "woman." Today, people use "lady" to refer to women who are obviously not ladies. Thus they both demean the idea of the lady and simultaniously elevate a mere woman to the higher status.

 

[sonsie]

I prefer not to be called 'Ma'am', it makes me feel old and dowdy - and why is it that so many of us are first called that by young male grocery transporters?

I do use 'Ms.' and am glad it was invented. After all, at almost 50, but divorced, I'd feel silly being called 'Miss', which designates an unmarried female; I'm unsure whether or not an age range is implied. I also like the privacy it offers, as a few others have mentioned. The only problem I have with it is knowing when to stop the 'zzz' sound.

One thing I heard in the south was 'Mrs.' pronounced 'Mzz-rezz'. I pronouce it like the plural of 'Miss'.

I do believe I'd prefer 'dea-ah' over 'Huuun'.

I remember my mother educating my brother and me at a certain age - I was a 'Miss', and he was a 'Master'.

sonsie