Of Sheep-Dip, Rot-Gut, and Furniture Polish. The worst of the worst.

Discussion in 'The Connoisseur' started by rumblefish, Nov 9, 2009.

  1. Smithy

    Smithy I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
    5,137
    Location:
    Norway
    Really informative post, thanks for that :eusa_clap
     
  2. St.Ignatz

    St.Ignatz Call Me a Cab

    Messages:
    2,376
    Location:
    Left of Philadelphia
    I'm still waiting for "Dry Lite Ice Lime". Marketing slogan "Because you'll but anything".
    Tom D.
     
  3. MisterCairo

    MisterCairo I'll Lock Up

    Messages:
    6,067
    Location:
    Gads Hill, Ontario
    Dry Lite Ice Lime Zero-cal Zero-taste Zero alcohol aspiring to be near-beer beer.

    Or, as it's called in Canada, anything by Molson or Labatts.
     
  4. Chainsaw

    Chainsaw Suspended

    Messages:
    392
    Location:
    Toronto
    Aw come on Mister Cairo. Don't offend our American friends. The beer in the states used to be good, when it was still German! What's the saying American beer is like having sex in a canoe, it like f---ing water. Which is fantastic, for the summertime yes?

    Most people don't want a real ale like St.Peters, it tastes too much like beer....

    Sorry for the ribbin'
     
  5. Chainsaw

    Chainsaw Suspended

    Messages:
    392
    Location:
    Toronto
    Smuggler's apple pie

    Maybe this is the right place for this post. Before America adopted the European staple, beer America preferred the English style cider. Then everyone became tea totalers, and that's when the country was lost. But that's another story.

    Now I learned this recipe from someone that was in a family way with some bootleggers, long story untold, I call my creation smugglers apple pie. Now apple and fruit season is almost upon us, so choose what you like, apples pears et-cetera. Now I still got my hat on, so that means I'm still in character, but that is a real crow bar. Any how here's the recipe.

    First off find yourself some 5 gallon buckets out back of some where's...

    Next fill the bucket one quarter with apple and or pears, don't matters if they rotten.

    Next mash them down with a 2x4, preferably cedar. Then add more apples mash again,ti ll the bucket is three fifths full of squishin's.

    Then add your water, if you got running water, just dunk the bucket in that creek.

    Next off put that yeast in that bucket, from the super market like.

    Then you can put in half a pound of sugar in that there bucket, you city folk use brown, cause I know that's what you like! All fancy and that.

    Put a lid on it for at least a month, then every one will be real happy like!

    Wha'd you mean youz too fancy for our gin joint?! No! I know you just fooling' with me!
     
  6. The great misfortune of American beer comes with cost accounts learning that adding adjuncts would lighten the flavor of American beer while making it cheaper to make and the Prohibition era that was like a reset for American taste buds. Prohibition eliminated many old style breweries and reduced the offerings to a lot feewer and more in the lighter lager style. That gain popularity with those that normally did not drink beer because of strong flavor profiles, lighter broaden the consumer base. Eventually we arrived at a less is more concept and the lite beer was born. Here in the US there are fads that move thru the big brewers line ups but there is an undercurrent of "Real Beer" small brewers making extraordinary products in the old world traditions. So not all American beer sucks, just what we send out of the country from the big brewers.
     
  7. Good point, John. There's a reason the phrase "Pee*-water Macrobrew" was coined... and I'm ashamed that my country unleashed this blight upon the world.
    *Lightly censored in deference to FL's delicate sensibilities.
     
  8. I recall reading about how many of Great Britains best breweries are were falling under the control of the conglomerates and the introduction of domestic for GB light body lagers continues to grow. They have the Campaign for Real Ale CAMRA that promoted the old style ales and brewing techniques as well as the proper serving techniques to try tosave some of their most wonderful old unique ales.
     
  9. Chainsaw

    Chainsaw Suspended

    Messages:
    392
    Location:
    Toronto
    It's not just the beer that's being drunk to excess. We as a society consume too much liquids in general. Water, we drink liters of it. It was once a precious comodity. The purpose of course is to dilute the sweat.

    If ŷou want to learn how to enjoy beer, you have to start by keeping it at the proper temperature. What's appropriate for summer is garage floor temp. The coldness of the concrete is just good enough.

    The beer will be more flavourful, more filling, but you'll drink less of it. But in time, you'll learn to enjoy it more. Either that, or you can put it in the fridge like a heathen.
     
  10. Unfortunately here in Southern California the tempurature of my garage floor is about 90 degrees in the day.

    I believe the general rule is light lagers 40-50 maybe 55 degrees farenheit, as the lagers get heavier or darker in color the temps move to the upper end of the scale.

    Ales you want more in the 50-60 degrees with the light ones at the lower end and the heavies closer to the warmer side. In America we have been conditioned to the idea of ICE COLD BEER for refreshment. The cold stifles the flavors. Many find that trying new brews can be challenging but as they learn about other styles their tastes often grow and include darker and heavier beers.

    As Toronto mentions as the temperature of the beer goes up the more the flavors and aromas of that beer are released. How warm can they be? You have to experiement to find your comfort level but One experiemnt is to take the 6 pack out of the frig about 20 minutes before serving. Some labels have suggested temps listed start there and move up in temperature.

    Another tasting trick is to pour the beers being served into a glass pitcher first to release some of the excess carbonation. Many canned and bottled beers have way too much carbonation which may add to the "crispness" but the carbonation is also carbonic acid and adds to the "tartness" of the beer. This is why many beers on draught or on tap taste better, because of the lower carbonation levels.

    Cheer!
     
  11. 1961MJS

    1961MJS My Mail is Forwarded Here

    Messages:
    3,314
    Location:
    Norman Oklahoma
    Hi

    What Chainsaw says is true of most good beer, and almost all Eurpoean Beer. Unfortunately most American beer is made to be served ice cold, and tastes worse when it gets warm. One beer I've tasted, Watney's Red Ale (I haven't seen it in decades) was served to me ice cold and tasted horribly until it had set on the table for 15 minutes.

    I just checked the internet for it, and the Brits hated it too.

    later
     
  12. CherryWry

    CherryWry One of the Regulars

    Messages:
    139
    Location:
    New Hampshire
    I loathe Campari, Jaegermeister, and Red Bull (on its own or paired with Jaeger or vodka). Zima is also nasty. I'm also not a huge fan of Purple Passion, the pre-mixed Everclear nastiness that got passed around at high school parties when we couldn't find any decent liquor cabinets to pillage.

    http://www.bumwine.com/ discusses many of the libations that have appeared in this thread.

    I once heard somene describe Cool Colt as tasting like "drinking peppermint from a hobo's shoe" which steered me clear of it.

    Jam Jar Sweet Shiraz = vile. It's trying to be a dessert wine, but it's beyond cloying.

    I don't care for beer; mostly I can't stand the taste of hops. I'm more than happy to help my husband brew, though.
     
  13. Zima

    CherryWry writes: "Zima is also nasty."

    Ha! I could not resist acknowledging someone else disparaging Zima, a contender for worst potable in any discussion. I have earlier posted considerable spleen against it in this thread and also started another on the toxic character of Zima and the even more execrable Sloe Gin.

    There is no criminal prosecution for a corporate crime like Zima but if there is an afterlife, one can only hope its creator will be somewhere warm enough to make even Zima desirable.
     
  14. Ethan Bentley

    Ethan Bentley One Too Many

    Messages:
    1,225
    Location:
    The New Forest, Hampshire, UK
    Today I found premixed Campari and Soda - So I bought some. Sometimes even I think I'm bonkers!
     
  15. :eek: :eusa_doh: Campari is the worst of the worst--next to Cynar of course.:p
     
  16. rumblefish

    rumblefish One Too Many

    Messages:
    1,326
    Location:
    Long Island NY
    If by bonkers you mean a gentleman with impeccable tastes and a sense of adventure, then yes you are!;)
    Now keep an eye open for a cynar and soda premix...


    hey JP,:p :p :p
    ;)
     
  17. 1961MJS

    1961MJS My Mail is Forwarded Here

    Messages:
    3,314
    Location:
    Norman Oklahoma
    HI John

    To pop a quick addition in here, during Prohibition, adjuncts began being used because it was necessary to get the alcohol content up. I would bet (but don't know) that it was difficult to acquire hops and barley since they are obviously ingredients for beer. Rice and corn were also used as food so buying a bunch wasn't suspicious. Of course, I don't think anybody cared much about your making beer either. lol

    My grandfather was born before 1900, so he was old enough to drink regularly before prohibition. He said that all of the local towns (he lived in Bluffs Illinois) had a brewery, and that all of their beer was better than anything you could buy then (probably 1977-78). According to Grandpa, the local breweries left a keg tapped and you could fill your mug on the way home from work. :)

    Later
     
  18. 1961MJS

    1961MJS My Mail is Forwarded Here

    Messages:
    3,314
    Location:
    Norman Oklahoma
    Hi, if you liked bumwine.com, you'll like this one too.

    40ozMaltLiquor.com

    Mike
     

  19. I was thinking that would be next.:rolleyes: Cynar and soda could be used for chemical warfare purposes---not drinking willingly. :eusa_doh: :eek:
    Oh and sense of adventure is right! Having your head close to the porcelain god might not exactly be my kind of adventure though. :eek:
     
  20. [​IMG]
    Oh yes, these babies definitely need to be included here with Pimms, Campari and Cynar. *yucky*
     

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