Want to buy or sell something? Check the classifieds
  • The Fedora Lounge is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

What do you say to your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other?

Superfluous

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,995
Location
Missing in action
The following post was made this morning in a separate thread:

I have to tell my wife my jackets cost $250-$300 each (on sale), and she still gets pissed, lol

That got me thinking. Many of us have to deal with the response of a wife/significant other when we purchase a new jacket or other article of clothing that we clearly do not need. After we have stealthily moved the jacket/clothing from our car to our closet – you know what I am taking about – there is that moment of truth when we don the new item for the first time and face the music/firing squad arising from our latest wholly unnecessary expenditure.

The conversation in my house frequently goes something like this:

Wife: “Is that a new ____________________________ [jacket/shirt/etc.]?”
Me: “No baby . . . I have owned this for ages . . . you have seen it many times before.”

This approach only works if the new item is not profoundly unique or distinctive. If I am getting something that is sufficiently dissimilar to anything I currently own, and will likely be perceived as such by my wife, I usually attempt to soften the blow with an advance disclosure, coupled with a statement (inaccurately) trivializing the cost.

As an overlay to the foregoing, I actively buy clothing/jackets/pursues for my wife so that she does not perceive any disparate treatment (fortunately, I enjoy doing so).

What about you? Complete candor? Partial candor? Outright deception?
 

bn1966

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,093
Location
UK
Bribery :), getting some 'dirt' on her :D & outright lies: "darling it only cost me $60.00"

Note: Hide all receipts & credit card statements ;)
 

Gromulus

Practically Family
Messages
573
Location
NE Ohio, USA
I tell her that is the price of having a "trophy husband". :D

Actually I sometimes use similar tactics as many of you but after thirty years my wife knows me too well. The running joke in our family is "what is dad's new hobby". Started with firearms and knives, camping and backpacking equipment, flashlights, kayaks, hats and outerwear........... and now sports cars.
At least she knows I use everything I buy (don't collect for the sake of collecting) and I draw the line before moving on to my next interest.
 

IXL

One Too Many
Messages
1,284
Location
Oklahoma
Firstly, buy the wife a very expensive hunter-jumper competition horse, then a huge three-horse pull-through slant-load aluminum trailer (with separate tack room for holding the new saddles for said horse), rounded out with a brand new Ford F-250 diesel to pull the whole shebang. That should do it for a while........
 

Foster

One of the Regulars
Messages
261
Location
N.C., U.S.A.
I know these jackets can be expensive, but why try and conceal the truth from your spouse / significant other? They will find the truth if they get persistent with it. Deception is only going to erode the trust she has for you, so why go that route?

In my case, my wife and I are both obsessive about different things. Jackets are my thing. Necklaces are her current interest. So I might spend hundreds on a jacket, she spends a little less each on dozens of necklaces. It probably evens out somewhere. But if the bills are being paid and the kids are fed, we don't worry over it too much. At least investing in a nice jacket tends to imply that one cares about his appearance, and this is usually well received in return (unless I am totally deceived on this detail).

Besides, she has her interests which can be costly as well. The other day we adopted an orphaned antique piano because it made her happy. I will spend more time trying to resurrect that piano than I would spend earning money for a jacket (or three or four jackets, for that matter).

I'm an avid believer in the elusive "happy middle" ground somewhere in between.
 

Superfluous

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,995
Location
Missing in action
Actually I sometimes use similar tactics as many of you but after thirty years my wife knows me too well. The running joke in our family is "what is dad's new hobby". Started with firearms and knives, camping and backpacking equipment, flashlights, kayaks, hats and outerwear........... and now sports cars.
At least she knows I use everything I buy (don't collect for the sake of collecting) and I draw the line before moving on to my next interest.

Lol!!!

We all suffer from a similar OCD, often with very similar manifestations. My manifestations include watches, sports cars, and clothing/leather jackets. Several of my fellow watch/sports car enthusiasts also pursue knives and flashlights, although I have yet to go that route.
 
Messages
15,563
Location
East Central Indiana
Never found the need to sneak anything or be deceptive with my Wife about purchases..or seek permission. It seems that I must be in the minority for some reason,though. I have a couple of gun safes for my firearm collection and a closet of various leather jackets for riding and streetwear among other collectables. I don't get that type of game..but maybe I should. Sounds fascinating.
HD
 

Sloan1874

I'll Lock Up
Messages
8,418
Location
Glasgow
I got my other half hooked! She's waiting for her first Aero some time next month. ;) We should have a cosy co-dependency up and running shortly...
 

Don Tomaso

A-List Customer
Messages
402
Location
Germany
My girlfriend actually encourages me to get things, like shoes, jackets, hats, watches. For one, she knows it makes me happy, and then she also likes me well dressed and gromed. We have a bit of a banter amongst us, as she likes buying stuff as well, and each uses the own money, so why sneaking of even outright lying? And as said above, as long as the important things are covered, a bit of luxury is ok. ;)
A colleague of mine always used to tell his wife he stopped smoking years ago albeit he's still puffing away. I never quite got that...
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,365
Location
New Forest
Start a business, be successful in business, become so financially sound that every request is met by: "Yes dear," don't buy yourself anything in months, or, if you can wait that long, years. Then go the whole hog and splash out, she will be so relieved of the guilt trip that only she has had the new purchases, she will positively revel in you indulging yourself.
I would love to say it works every time, but as I have only had one business, and have suffered a five figured bad debt, it did take a while to get to the financial fluency that I enjoy today.
 

vintage.vendeuse

A-List Customer
Messages
355
Firstly, buy the wife a very expensive hunter-jumper competition horse, then a huge three-horse pull-through slant-load aluminum trailer (with separate tack room for holding the new saddles for said horse), rounded out with a brand new Ford F-250 diesel to pull the whole shebang. That should do it for a while........

If you should in future become divorced or widowed, I am a very good cook.
 
Messages
10,998
Location
SoCal
I squirreled away some $$ into a paypal account by selling some stuff on eBay. Now I use that account to buy things I want. The trick is to sell enough to fund the purchases. My wife supports my buy/sell hobby.
 

ProteinNerd

My Mail is Forwarded Here
Messages
3,892
Location
Sydney
I think I've finally reached critical mass, where I have enough jackets that my wife doesn't know exactly how many I have or what they look like so she doesn't really notice me slipping a new one in now.
 

rocketeer

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,605
Location
England
Never found the need to sneak anything or be deceptive with my Wife about purchases..or seek permission. It seems that I must be in the minority for some reason,though. I don't get that type of game..but maybe I should. Sounds fascinating.
HD

I with you on this one. The only thing my Mrs would say would be "What do you need another jacket for?" Not trying to put me off or even asking the price, just curious as to what I need another one for.
 

dnjan

One Too Many
Messages
1,687
Location
Seattle
With a separate checking account, I don't get into trouble for spending. Rather, I get into trouble for taking up all the closet space. Older house, small closets, and sport coats and overcoats take up a lot of space. I got an ultimatum recently to "get rid of something", so one overcoat went to the son and another is waiting for the next donation opportunity.
 

Forum statistics

Threads
107,345
Messages
3,034,535
Members
52,781
Latest member
DapperBran
Top