You know you are getting old when:

Sadly, on this side of the pond that kind of currency doesn't stretch nearly as far as actual currency.

 

When you know, what's the point with that.

 

I just want to be left in the woods for the critters to scatter. I was going to leave my kids my tattoos, but they objected.

 

You made enough working years to officially reach your pension claim.

 

... hiring out the heavier housekeeping chores gets serious consideration.

 

When you're standing up from your desk chair and your left knee joint makes an ugly feeling CRUNCH as if it would like to break apart.

 

... Blaming the dog is one of the oldest tricks in the book.
The Silent But Deadly was an extremely useful skill at an all-male boarding school and men's college - and one which I honed to an art form.
These days I am more civilised, of course!

 

It’s possible that fart humour just gets better - or more ripe - with age.
Where do you stand on the ‘loud blast’ versus ‘Silent But Deadly’ debate? Which is ultimately the better weapon?

 

I think Benjamin Franklin had the final word on the subject in his essay, Fart Proudly.

 

That is a marvellous essay. I hadn't realised, until I read the Wikipedia entry in your link, that it was written originally after a call for papers from the Royal Academy of Brussels. This is more than appropriate, when we consider the effects of Brussels Sprouts!

 

... you actually do hire out the deep cleaning. We want this place sparkling before we gotta button things up for winter, when we’ll be without God’s ever-rejuvenating breezes blowing through this dump.

 

...you take Fango packs to get used to lying in damp soil.

 

... your big entertainment during the 2200 hour on a Saturday is watching your dogs eat peanut butter.

 

Mine loved beer and cheese, grew 18 years old.

 

When the Estonia comes back to the news...

 

When you're watching more or less funny youtube-channel stuff, which is for the typical youngsters-clientele and you think:

"Wait, I'm 16 or 3...?"

 

...you could sleep until noon everyday but stand in the garden at 05:00 cutting the hedges instead.

 

...you travel back in time having thin hair, no teeth and needing diapers again.