Negative Reactions?

[John in Covina]

Even the head of the Human Resources department became angry with me and advised me that it was bad taste (bad taste!! :rage: ) to be so arrogant.

***************

I find that when people that are supposed to know better make such egregious errors it is always best to bring them the dictotionary and define what they've said and ask how is this so?

arrogance
One entry found.

Main Entry: ar·ro·gance
Pronunciation: \ˈer-ə-gən(t)s, ˈa-rə-\
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions


I am willing to bet you didn't then and still don't fit the actual definition.

 

[Subvet642]

I used to wear suits and sport coats to work when I was employed at Iowa Student Loan. You would think a company like that, dealing with schools, money and families, would encourage classic style, or at least suits, if one so chose. Even the head of the Human Resources department became angry with me and advised me that it was bad taste (bad taste!! :rage: ) to be so arrogant.

I'll say it again, astounding! I'm normally a pretty mellow guy, but I don't know how I would hold my temper in a situation like that. [huh]

 

[bobalooba]

You are right here, but be careful of the word "classless" - I understand that in the USA it can mean "not classy" as well as the sense in which we Britons use the word.

I don't want to split hairs but living in the US I would like to point out that classless is not really a commonly used enough phrase for most to get offended. And as it was in a particular context and most loungers seem fairly intelligent I'm assuming they could put two and two together.

 

[Kermez]

I believe it makes others uneasy because they may feel you have a, perhaps unfounded, sense of superiority

My sense of superiority is not unfounded.

 

[Red Diabla]

People my age in general don't get it. One of my friends always used to tease me saying whats up with you and the 50's blah blah, why do you dress like this? Gets annoying, I don't criticize him everytime I see him for his tight jeans and hoodies, why should he bag on me?
It's Los Angeles, everyone feels the need to criticize people who don't conform.

Well, I think the reactions you get is based more on the age of your commenters than you being in Los Angeles.

I live in LA and even though I don't go all-out vintage, the times I do get somewhat gussied up I don't get criticized for it...at least to my face. Well, OK, I had jury duty last week and adhered to the specified "business casual". I met a friend for lunch and he looked me up and down and said, "You look like a Republican!" I good-naturedly slugged him. lol

But seriously, LA has enough diversity going on that adults don't bother criticizing each other. The key word in that previous sentence is "adult".

RD

 

[donCarlos]

My sense of superiority is not unfounded.

Wow.. and I was afraid that I was the only one superior in the worldlol

 

[Mojito]

My job overlaps with one of my hobbies - maritime research - and in general I've had a positive response to vintage in both areas (those that know of it, as I don't dress head-to-toe in 1920s every day of the week). I do, however, often use vintage touches and inspiration in my daily attire, and not always 1920s.

While the hobby area is male dominated, most men I've worked with on research projects have not considered gender or my attire an issue. I certainly don't. This extends to older generations - recently a researcher/retired RN officer sent me his entire collection of papers on the history of a particular liner, as he feels he's getting on and wanted them to go to someone interested in the field.

Sadly, however, there are exceptions. One chap I knew and had a friendly relationship in the UK, who has since taken a set against me as I am a friend and colleague of someone he regards as an implacable foe, has posted some vindictive attacks that extend into libel (he has, for example, suggested that I sent him *death threats* - something so bizarre that I hardly know how to begin to refute it, other than to ignore it as the product of an unsound mind). He has also resorted to ad hominems, including calling me a "dollybird." I can't imagine where he got that image from - having met me on a couple of occasions, he knows that it's far from my persona. I can only suppose he's derived it from some pictures that have been posted online during discussions I've had with fellow vintage enthusiasts and to illustrate some 20s outfits we were discussing.

It's an example of how your personal appearance can be turned against you. I have a track record of research and publication in my field, but this individual has used gender and the supposed way I dress to try and denigrate me.

Not very effectively, I might add - after a few minutes disbelief, I started laughing about it. Such has also been the reaction of those I've spoken with about it. Told a good friend (one who has met the individual in question herself) and her immediate response was rage and indignation. I had to tell her to wait just 10 minutes and that would pass and she'd see the funny side. Another 10 minutes into the conversation and she was laughing, agreeing I was right.

 

[SamMarlowPI]

i decided to wear my peacoat on a cold day instead of my flight jacket and everyone kept asking why i was dressed up...

jeans and vans accompanied the coat, like they do with the flight jacket, and they were asking why i was dressed up...

[huh] [huh]

 

[Foofoogal]

Mojito, maybe he is secretly enthralled by you and doesn't know what to do with his feelings. lol
Passion has many elements to it.
-----------------------------------------

 

[bobalooba]

i decided to wear my peacoat on a cold day instead of my flight jacket and everyone kept asking why i was dressed up...

jeans and vans accompanied the coat, like they do with the flight jacket, and they were asking why i was dressed up...

[huh] [huh]

Exactly! I wear similar clothes everyday, usually slacks and a sweater with a blazer thrown over. But on the days that I wear a sweater vest instead of a sweater people say I'm dressed up! or when I wear oxfords instead of my converse. The comments are irritating enough but even more so when they don't follow any sort of logic.

 

[Absinthe_1900]

From my co-workers regarding my wardrobe, I receive derision almost without fail. Especially when I wear a fedora - I get "old man" comments, like maybe we should eat lunch at Luby's (I am almost 40)

Tell 'em you prefer Cleburne's. Only the Houston people will understand.

 

[metropd]

I have to say in Little Italy, it is nothing but positive comments when it comes to wearing a fedora and suit. I wish it was the same for you. Maybe you should move out here.

 

[Chas]

Around here you get questioned for "dressing up" with anything more stylish than jeans or a goretex jacket. That's what Vancouverites wear, even to the Opera. As far as truly negative responses, I once had a drunken yob follow me for several blocks screaming "Al Capone" at me.

My kid brother has a serious problem with it, and invariably it leads to arguments and the problem is obviously his.

That's about it, in about 10+ years in dressing the way I do now.

 

[BinkieBaumont]

I was rather upset about a month ago I was orf to the Cinema for a matinee session, it was hot, so I wore shorts, sandals ,shirt, cravat, pith helmet and vintage sunglasses and no one looked twice!!:rage: :rage: :rage: :rage: they were, far too busy giggling and pointing at the EMO's, and the Goths on the trainlol lol lol lol lol

 

[Kermez]

I have to say in Little Italy, it is nothing but positive comments when it comes to wearing a fedora and suit. I wish it was the same for you. Maybe you should move out here.

Being (mostly) Italian myself, that sounds awesome. I'll bet the Pasta is fantabulous!

 

[Lily Powers]

Sadly, some people can see no further than their Blackberry's or the latest "Details" magazine for the concept of style or fashion. And as for someone who is an individual? You probably made their collective brain cells (all three of them) swirl in confusion! Leave them to their Made In China, poly blend, follow the crowd mentality and let your fellow Loungers admire your vintage ways.

 

[Marc Chevalier]

I lived away from the U.S.A. from 1998 to 2005. When I returned, one change --aside from Homeland Security, the insane housing market, etc.-- was immediately obvious: most Los Angeles men in their 20s, 30s and even 40s had stopped wearing pressed shirts, shirts with collars, pants with natural waists, (non-sneaker) leather shoes, and neatly combed hair. It wasn't this way before 1998.


If I wear a pressed button-down shirt, chinos and penny loafers today, I'm told (by successful professionals!) "Look at you: all dressed up ... what are you dressed up for?" It's hard for me to wrap my head around this.


A woman friend in "the Industry" complains to me about Hollywood parties where the gals dress up and the guys wear ratty t-shirts, odd-fitting jeans, and worn-out flip flops ... which drags down the parties' ambience.

.

 

[Diamondback]

Mojito, maybe he is secretly enthralled by you and doesn't know what to do with his feelings. lol
Passion has many elements to it.
-----------------------------------------

Or quite possibly he might have wanted something he had no chance of getting, and lacks the maturity to make his piece with the fact so he's blaming the person who he had his sights on. Either way, he needs some maturity counseling--Mojito, might I suggest Altama steeltoes* for the job?
*As in, sometimes ya just gotta lodge a combat-boot up the subject's tailpipe...lol Who all had bets on how long it was gonna be 'fore I said something like that? lol

My grandfather had a line perfect for these people, but between his careers as a master-sergeant and a heavy-machinist and the language therein I'm not sure how well the unedited version would go over here, but it riffs on:
"You're more fortunate than I am--you can kiss my [unmentionable] and I can't."--"MSgt. Ward", USAAF/USAF 1942-1969

@Lily Powers: I think you give them too much credit, madame--I would suspect inside their skulls to be the closest thing to a perfect void nature has ever produced.

----------------
Now playing: Visual Music, James Hannigan and Andrew Sega - Sigma Space Suite
via FoxyTunes

 

[Mojito]

Or quite possibly he might have wanted something he had no chance of getting, and lacks the maturity to make his piece with the fact so he's blaming the person who he had his sights on. Either way, he needs some maturity counseling--Mojito, might I suggest Altama steeltoes* for the job?
*As in, sometimes ya just gotta lodge a combat-boot up the subject's tailpipe...lol Who all had bets on how long it was gonna be 'fore I said something like that? lol

Foofoogal and Diamondback, I don't know - I'm notorious for being *completely* oblivious to signals that men give me, a source of mirth to my friends who have seen it in action. I know he wasn't belittling me as a dollybird when we spent time together in London or when I defended *him* from some unjustified public criticism - at that time I was apparently a fine individual. I do think it's curious that he seems to have targetted me because of my friendship with a male author that he detests (never mind that said author is happily married and I'm also friendly with his wife). I simply avoid him as much as possible, but he has even gone to the stalkerish extreme of contacting my place of work!

I do sometimes wonder if men face this problem. What would be the equivalent - "fop" and "dandy" would be anachronistic, so how would a man be belittled by others in the same field for dressing in vintage? Would it just be "weird" (which seems to be a universal term for both genders).

 

[Spiffy]

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, my common weekend dilemma.

The "going out tonight" conversation.

College-Age Female:
Spiffy, what are you wearing out tonight?

Spiffy:
(looks down)
What I'm wearing now...plus a coat.

CAF:
You're wearing a dress, aren't you?? God! I don't know why I even ask you!
(hangs up)

Spiffy:
(goes for the Oscar, sobbing)
Why am I so different??​