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Classic actors insulting eachother

FedoraFan112390

Practically Family
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646
Location
Brooklyn, NY
1. John Wayne on Clark Gable: “Gable’s an idiot. You know why he’s an actor? It’s the only thing he’s smart enough to do.”

2. Tallulah Bankhead on Bette Davis: “Don’t think I don’t know who’s been spreading gossip about me. After all the nice things I’ve said about that hag. When I get hold of her, I’ll tear out every hair of her mustache!”

3. Joan Crawford on Bette Davis: “She has a cult, and what the hell is a cult except a gang of rebels without a cause. I have fans. There’s a big difference.”

4. Bette Davis on Joan Crawford: “I wouldn’t piss on her if she was on fire.”

5. Sterling Hayden on Joan Crawford: “There’s is not enough money in Hollywood to lure me into making another picture with Joan Crawford. And I like money.”

6. Vivian Leigh on Bette Davis after turning down a role in HUSH…HUSH SWEET CHARLOTTE: “I could just stand the thought of facing Joan Crawford at seven in the morning, but I couldn’t stand the thought of facing Bette Davis at that or any hour.”

7. Carol Lombard on Vivien Leigh: “That f–king English bitch.”

8. Cary Grant on Marlon Brando, Montgomery Clift and James Dean: “I have no rapport with the new idols of the screen, and that includes Marlon Brando and his style of Method acting. It certainly includes Montgomery Clift and that God-awful James Dean. Some producer should cast all three of them in the same movie and let them duke it out. When they’ve finished each other off, James Stewart, Spencer Tracy and I will return and start making real movies again like we used to.”

9. Bette Davis on Cary Grant: “He needed willowy or boyish girls like Katharine Hepburn to make him look what they now call macho. If I’d co-starred with Grant or if Crawford had, we’d have eaten him for breakfast.”

10. Christopher Plummer on Julie Andrews: “Working with her is like being hit over the head with a big Valentine’s Day card, every day.”

11. Mickey Rooney on Ernest Borgnine: “All the Oscars in the world can’t buy him dignity, class and talent. I don’t know why he is famous and why he is a star. Talk about a lucky jerk.”

12. Ernest Borgnine on Mickey Rooney: “I`ve got the Oscar, he`s got a therapist. Checkmate!”

13. Anthony Hopkins on Shirley MacLaine: “She was the most obnoxious actress I have ever worked with.”

14. Marlon Brando on James Dean: “Mr. Dean appears to be wearing my last year’s wardrobe and using my last year’s talent.”

15. Marlon Brando on Montgomery Clift : “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.”

16. Richard Burton on Marlon Brando: “Marlon has yet to learn to speak. He should have been born two generations before and acted in silent films.”

17. Trevor Howard on Marlon Brando: “Unprofessional and absolutely ridiculous. He could drive a saint to hell in a dogsled.”

18. Dirk Bogarde on Monica Vitti: “I’ve fallen deeply in love with every woman I’ve ever worked with except Monica Vitti. She was a beast.”

19. Walter Mattheu to Barbra Streisand during an on set argument while making HELLO DOLLY!: “I have more talent in my farts than you have in your whole body.”

20. Fanny Brice on Esther Williams: “Wet, she’s a star. Dry, she ain’t.”

21. John Cassavetes on Ricardo Montalban: “Ricardo Montalban is to improvised acting what Mount Rushmore is to animation.”

22. Oliver Reed on Jack Nicolson: “Nicholson? As far as I’m concerned, he’s a balding midget. He stands five-foot-seven, you know. He tries to play heavies and doesn’t quite make it.”

23. Sophia Loren on Gina Lollobrigida: “Gina’s personality is limited. She is good playing a peasant but is incapable of playing a lady.”

24. Jane Fonda on Laurence Harvey: “Acting opposite Harvey is like acting by yourself. Only worse!”

25. Richard Harris on Michael Caine: “An over-fat, flatulent, 62-year-old windbag. A master of inconsequence masquerading as a guru, passing off his vast limitations as pious virtues.”

26. Frank Sinatra on Shelley Winters: “A bowlegged bitch of a Brooklyn blonde.”

27. Shelley Winters on Frank Sinatra: “A skinny, no-talent, stupid, Hoboken ba***rd.”

28. John Gielgud on Ingrid Bergman: “Ingrid Bergman speaks five languages and can’t act in any of them.”

29. William Holden on Humphrey Bogart: “I hated the ba***rd.”

30. Humphrey Bogart on William Holden: “A dumb prick.”

http://moviemorlocks.com/2011/08/11/they-said-what-classic-insults-from-classic-actors/
 
Messages
10,392
Location
vancouver, canada
1. John Wayne on Clark Gable: “Gable’s an idiot. You know why he’s an actor? It’s the only thing he’s smart enough to do.”

2. Tallulah Bankhead on Bette Davis: “Don’t think I don’t know who’s been spreading gossip about me. After all the nice things I’ve said about that hag. When I get hold of her, I’ll tear out every hair of her mustache!”

3. Joan Crawford on Bette Davis: “She has a cult, and what the hell is a cult except a gang of rebels without a cause. I have fans. There’s a big difference.”

4. Bette Davis on Joan Crawford: “I wouldn’t piss on her if she was on fire.”

5. Sterling Hayden on Joan Crawford: “There’s is not enough money in Hollywood to lure me into making another picture with Joan Crawford. And I like money.”

6. Vivian Leigh on Bette Davis after turning down a role in HUSH…HUSH SWEET CHARLOTTE: “I could just stand the thought of facing Joan Crawford at seven in the morning, but I couldn’t stand the thought of facing Bette Davis at that or any hour.”

7. Carol Lombard on Vivien Leigh: “That f–king English bitch.”

8. Cary Grant on Marlon Brando, Montgomery Clift and James Dean: “I have no rapport with the new idols of the screen, and that includes Marlon Brando and his style of Method acting. It certainly includes Montgomery Clift and that God-awful James Dean. Some producer should cast all three of them in the same movie and let them duke it out. When they’ve finished each other off, James Stewart, Spencer Tracy and I will return and start making real movies again like we used to.”

9. Bette Davis on Cary Grant: “He needed willowy or boyish girls like Katharine Hepburn to make him look what they now call macho. If I’d co-starred with Grant or if Crawford had, we’d have eaten him for breakfast.”

10. Christopher Plummer on Julie Andrews: “Working with her is like being hit over the head with a big Valentine’s Day card, every day.”

11. Mickey Rooney on Ernest Borgnine: “All the Oscars in the world can’t buy him dignity, class and talent. I don’t know why he is famous and why he is a star. Talk about a lucky jerk.”

12. Ernest Borgnine on Mickey Rooney: “I`ve got the Oscar, he`s got a therapist. Checkmate!”

13. Anthony Hopkins on Shirley MacLaine: “She was the most obnoxious actress I have ever worked with.”

14. Marlon Brando on James Dean: “Mr. Dean appears to be wearing my last year’s wardrobe and using my last year’s talent.”

15. Marlon Brando on Montgomery Clift : “He acts like he’s got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn’t want anyone to know it.”

16. Richard Burton on Marlon Brando: “Marlon has yet to learn to speak. He should have been born two generations before and acted in silent films.”

17. Trevor Howard on Marlon Brando: “Unprofessional and absolutely ridiculous. He could drive a saint to hell in a dogsled.”

18. Dirk Bogarde on Monica Vitti: “I’ve fallen deeply in love with every woman I’ve ever worked with except Monica Vitti. She was a beast.”

19. Walter Mattheu to Barbra Streisand during an on set argument while making HELLO DOLLY!: “I have more talent in my farts than you have in your whole body.”

20. Fanny Brice on Esther Williams: “Wet, she’s a star. Dry, she ain’t.”

21. John Cassavetes on Ricardo Montalban: “Ricardo Montalban is to improvised acting what Mount Rushmore is to animation.”

22. Oliver Reed on Jack Nicolson: “Nicholson? As far as I’m concerned, he’s a balding midget. He stands five-foot-seven, you know. He tries to play heavies and doesn’t quite make it.”

23. Sophia Loren on Gina Lollobrigida: “Gina’s personality is limited. She is good playing a peasant but is incapable of playing a lady.”

24. Jane Fonda on Laurence Harvey: “Acting opposite Harvey is like acting by yourself. Only worse!”

25. Richard Harris on Michael Caine: “An over-fat, flatulent, 62-year-old windbag. A master of inconsequence masquerading as a guru, passing off his vast limitations as pious virtues.”

26. Frank Sinatra on Shelley Winters: “A bowlegged bitch of a Brooklyn blonde.”

27. Shelley Winters on Frank Sinatra: “A skinny, no-talent, stupid, Hoboken ba***rd.”

28. John Gielgud on Ingrid Bergman: “Ingrid Bergman speaks five languages and can’t act in any of them.”

29. William Holden on Humphrey Bogart: “I hated the ba***rd.”

30. Humphrey Bogart on William Holden: “A dumb prick.”

http://moviemorlocks.com/2011/08/11/they-said-what-classic-insults-from-classic-actors/
You can't beat a good insult. And sadly I think it is a diminishing art. Great post
 

GHT

I'll Lock Up
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9,350
Location
New Forest
According to a Hollywood legend there was a pointed verbal encounter between the movie siren Jean Harlow and the sharp-tongued English aristocrat Margot Asquith. When Harlow attended a party given by Asquith, the movie star presumptuously referred to the hostess by her first name, and she repeatedly mispronounced it as “Margott”, i.e., she pronounced a “t” at the end of the name. Eventually, Asquith responded with a squelcher:
No, no, Jean. The ‘t’ is silent, as in Harlow.

When screenwriter Nora Ephron found out about her husband’s affair her response was typically withering.
“He’d have sex with a Venetian blind,”

“"Elizabeth Taylor’s so fat, she puts mayonnaise on her aspirins" Joan Rivers

"The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers" Woody Allen

She ran the whole gamut of the emotions from A to B.” Critic Dorothy Parker on Audrey Hepburn.

“He was so mean it hurt him to go to the bathroom.” Britt Ekland on ex Rod Stewart.

“She loves nature in spite of what it did to her.” Bette Midler on Princess Anne.

“Just because she’s dead doesn’t mean she’s gonna change” Bette Davis on Joan Crawford.

“So boring, you fall asleep halfway through her name” Alan Bennett on Arianna Stassinopoulos.

“Well, at least he has found his true love – what a pity he can’t marry himself.” Frank Sinatra on Robert Redford.

“The easiest way for you to lose 10 pounds is just to take off your wig.” Madonna to Elton John.

“Bill Clinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of town.” Thriller writer Tom Clancy.

You should extend this thread to political put downs, heckler retorts and Mae West, whose pithy, off the cuff remarks could challenge the dictionary for size.
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,061
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
Fred Allen: Jack Benny couldn't ad-lib a belch after a Hungarian dinner.

Jack Benny: You wouldn't dare say that if my writers were here!

(Mr. Allen and Mr. Benny were actually good friends -- phony show-business "feuds" were a part of the publicity game actors played during the Era.)
 

Benzadmiral

Call Me a Cab
Messages
2,815
Location
The Swamp
" 'She ran the whole gamut of the emotions from A to B.' Critic Dorothy Parker on Audrey Hepburn."

That was actually Katharine Hepburn. I'm not sure Audrey had even been born when Dottie was doing play reviews. Oh, and Dottie had a remark about Margot Asquith, too, when Dottie was reviewing Margot's autobiography: "The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature."

**
" 'Elizabeth Taylor’s so fat, she puts mayonnaise on her aspirins.' Joan Rivers."

I remember Joan saying that "Elizabeth Taylor is a woman being kept alive by a machine. A refrigerator!"
 
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Messages
16,876
Location
New York City
8. Cary Grant on Marlon Brando, Montgomery Clift and James Dean: “I have no rapport with the new idols of the screen, and that includes Marlon Brando and his style of Method acting. It certainly includes Montgomery Clift and that God-awful James Dean. Some producer should cast all three of them in the same movie and let them duke it out. When they’ve finished each other off, James Stewart, Spencer Tracy and I will return and start making real movies again like we used to.”

9. Bette Davis on Cary Grant: “He needed willowy or boyish girls like Katharine Hepburn to make him look what they now call macho. If I’d co-starred with Grant or if Crawford had, we’d have eaten him for breakfast.”

I'm surprised, with all I've read about Cary Grant, that I've never seen that one before. It seems out of character for him, but probably reflected what he felt as he, clearly, had a different approach to acting and movie making than those three did.

Not at all surprised by Davis' comment (but also don't remember it) - she had one acid tongue. That said, and while I have great respect for her acting (she's near the top of my all-time list), I think Grant could have held his own with either of them.
 

Edward

Bartender
Messages
24,789
Location
London, UK
You should extend this thread to political put downs, heckler retorts and Mae West, whose pithy, off the cuff remarks could challenge the dictionary for size.

I rather think it best we stay away from the politics - but by all means, extend to classy insults and witty put downs from other spheres!
 

2jakes

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,680
Location
Alamo Heights ☀️ Texas
Mr. Warmth...Don Rickles

"Orson Welles, this great man was married to a great many women. They're all flat now.” –The Bob Hope Roast, 1974

"Bob Hope couldn't be here tonight, he's looking for a war." –Frank Sinatra Roast, 1978

[to Johnny Carson] "This is a good jacket… come in with cotton candy tomorrow night, and you can work the carnival." –Tonight Show, 1976

"Clint's idea of a good time is sitting on a pickup truck watching his dog bark." –Clint Eastwood Roast, 1986

"I said, 'Stand up, Frank, be yourself ... and hit somebody.'" –recounting the time he first met Frank Sinatra on The Daily Show, 2008

 

Worf

I'll Lock Up
Messages
5,175
Location
Troy, New York, USA
Sorry but if Ms. Davis weren't dead she would have been PERFECT as the "Queen on Thorns" on "Game of Thrones". Diana Rigg (yes that one) savaged everyone and everything in sight when she was on screen. Sorry for injecting something from THIS century in the conversation. If you're looking for more ammo for this thread there's one safe place for politics free put downs (mostly) and it's sports. Lot's of fertile ground there!

Worf
 

LizzieMaine

Bartender
Messages
33,061
Location
Where The Tourists Meet The Sea
Sports?

"Carl Yastrzemski is an All-Star from the neck down." -- Eddie Stanky, White Sox manager, 1967.
"Wins Triple Crown, knocks White Sox out of pennant race, leads Red Sox to World Series." -- Carl Yastrzemski.
 

2jakes

I'll Lock Up
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9,680
Location
Alamo Heights ☀️ Texas
Does anyone have any interesting quotes from Clark Gable, or David Niven, my two favorite actors of the era?

:)...besides the obvious one.



This....
hqdefault.jpg
 
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2jakes

I'll Lock Up
Messages
9,680
Location
Alamo Heights ☀️ Texas
That makes me respect him a lot more - sounds like his stardom didn't go to his head.

He loved eating raw onions.
IMG_9133.JPG

This makes me respect his leading ladies
a lot more as far as acting.
Especially in a romantic kissing scene.

And as much as I admire the leading ladies from the past when smoking was much in style.

It would be difficult to get in the mood
kissing an ash tray.
Unless you were a good "actor"! :D
 
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